u/greynolds17

So, one time, maybe 10 years ago now my family and I stopped at this drive-in on our way to Mount Rushmore. It was kind of in the middle of nowhere and all I remember is that it was mostly white, it was a drive-in with a lot of different milkshake flavors, and you could walk up to a window to order. I dont know the name of it, and I can't find it on Google. Does anyone know possibly what I am talking about? Does it still exist?

Edit: I mean't "Espousing" not exposing) My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year now and we both love each other very much, at the beginning of our relationship we identified some political differences, but nothing either of us thought would be an issue. Lately, one of my good friends came out as trans and she did initially support her transition, but then she started talking about how she didn't believe most trans people were actually trans.

When I questioned her on that logic, she started talking about how sex and gender are different, and being trans means you dont just fit into the gender roles, but you are still sexually a male and that gives you an advantage over cis-women. She specifically mentioned sports and a time when she met a trans woman who was only trans to prey on women. I told her that IMO isn't a fair representation of the trans community and that they should deserve support regardless. She said, "I do support them, I want them to have the right to live and the right to do what they want, I will respect their identity and pronouns and be nice to them, but they are responding to societal pressures of gender because they dont fit in the gender norms, but they are still the same sex as at birth, and for MtF especially, it can be an advantage...etc more TERF talking points" I believe there is no "but". You either support them all, or you dont support them at all. I think both of us are pretty hurt about this because we thought we were on the same page, and I think she wants to support them, but is trying to use science and biology to back up her point and doesn't see the nuance in how it hurts trans people. She said if I can use science to back up my point and prove her wrong, then she may change. I can't use science or biology to back up my point because "I dont think its prevalent enough to matter, and people like that have problems that are unrelated to being trans", and that makes her frustrated because she wont move on her position without evidence to back it up and it just sounds like I am attacking her with no basis. Her anecdotal evidence that she has with trans people also justifies her position even more, evidence which I don't have. I don't want this to be a point of contention. Is there a way I can explain how her logic is harmful?

My gf and I have been together over a year now, and I love her more than pretty much anyone else. Early on in our relationship, she was diagnosed with a litany of mental health issues related to trauma she has not healed from. Because of this, she is sensitive to rejection and takes any criticism as a personal attack. While she does sometimes listen to what I say and change when she does something that bothers me, sometimes, she argues with me over things that I assumed we were on the same page with, or are no big deal, and she will resort to personal attacks when I call out her behavior. For example, the last 2 days we have had 3 major arguments. The first one was over trans people, we are both Bisexual and politically left leaning. She told me that she didnt believe gender-fluid people or non-binary people belong to the LGBT group or trans group because they are not male or female, and that she believes that trans people are only reacting to societal pressure and not actually changing anything about their gender. I told her that I was confused why she was questioning trans people instead of supporting them even though she has multiple trans friends and is generally accepting of them, and that I didn't like it. She proceeded to tell me I didn't know what I was talking about because she had a psychology degree and wrote a paper on it. (I have not read this paper yet). I dropped the convo because I was going to read her paper first before commenting further just in case I was mishearing what she was saying. Second, we went to a public river, and a group of people came up to where we had set our stuff up, and just invaded our space. This pissed her off significantly, and while I get it, I didnt think it was worth fighting with random people I didnt know over it, so I told her to calm down and maybe they will leave. They didnt, and actually even more people showed up. This made her explode basically, and she wanted to resort to attacking them based on their appearance or character rather than the action that was the actual problem, then she got mad at me for "stopping her" because I didnt want this. Third, she was approached by 3 men walking a dog on the lake near our house, allegedly they were all Hispanic with teardrop tattoos, and she told me "I think I just met the only gang members in our town" (there are very few, if any, active gang members in our town) and her proof was that they were Hispanic with teardrop tattoos. I told her that was a stereotype, and she proceeded to blow up at me talking about how "I didnt know what I was talking about because I didnt grow up around Hispanics or with gang members and I am just a poor white boy from the suburbs" and then she wanted me to apologize for calling her racist (shes also white btw). Now, I understand the explaination for why she acts this way, (personality disorders and trauma responses mostly) but I don't believe the explaination of her mental problems is an excuse to say these things. So when I confronted her about it, she got defensive and just kept repeating the things shes already said, derailing the conversation, deflecting to unrelated things she may have been mad at me for, or blaming me for starting the fight. Weve had arguments before, but nothing this extreme and its really wrecked both of us and we have not resolved anything yet. How do I approach her about her defensive-ness and ask her to take accountability without making things worse?