r/ainbow

You see I am what is known as a Cis Straight Man and I am curious I see pride and the community and I am confused what is the reason or feeling for it? Like I’ve read it’s to feel inclusive or proud but proud of what? And why do you need that feeling? I consider everyone just a human so being proud of what you happen to be and basically showing it off is confusing as I can’t see how that help? Another thing is if you want equality or to be seen as normal why form a different group and get mad at straight people? I hope I didn’t offend anyone these are honest question with the purpose of learning more

>Plagiarism or embellishing a CV would not normally make it into the news, whether proven or alleged. It’s a matter for an employer or academic institution to deal with — it’s not in the public interest. Despite this, 249 articles on Arday were published in 22 days; 188 were published within the last 9 days of his life, after he had resigned from his position at Cambridge.

>It clearly wasn’t about forcing Arday to resign. The right-wing media used him as a political football to argue against DEI schemes — because they believe that they exclude white people from top jobs. They don’t. In fact, in my experience of academia and work in general, these schemes don’t even come close to levelling the playing field for those from demographics that are disadvantaged.

Hello,
Currently studying engineering. Looking to make friends with people in this community.
I’m 34 male but also curious about my identity.

Thanks

Hi everyone,

I'm a straight person who supports LGBTQ+ rights and personally rejects traditional societal gender roles. There’s something I’ve been trying to understand better, and I wanted to ask this community directly to get a broader perspective.

In some homosexual relationships, it seems like one partner adopts traditionally masculine traits (dressing, speaking, or acting according to conventional male standards) while the other adopts traditionally feminine ones.

Since LGBTQ+ identities inherently challenge traditional norms around gender and sexuality, I’m curious why some individuals or couples still lean into these conventional gender presentations or dynamics within their relationships. Is this mostly a matter of personal aesthetic and self-expression, a reflection of internalized social conditioning, or something else entirely?

I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this!

TW: Mentions of hate crimes, murder, rape & pedo stuff.

Before I start, I wanna emphasise that I'm obviously not saying this about everyone in the community, but there's a portion of it that I'm just beyond disappointed with as a bi woman.

We always talk about "protecting our own", especially when it comes to hate crimes & laws around the world that actively seek to threaten our peace, but yet we still allow stuff like this to happen. So many gay men & trans women have been brutally attacked & murdered because of these DL predators & I've truly fucking had it with people in this community still seeking them out when we need to keep as far away from them as possible.

Why is this still a thing? Why are so many of us allowing desire to cloud our judgement? Why are so many of us so willing to sacrifice morality for the sake of some cheap thrill that'll ultimately prove to be meaningless & will cause nothing but harm? I just don't get it. We all hear horror stories about DL men who are so scared of being found out that they senselessly murder the people they hook up with yet we continue to have these fantasies about getting with these people & "turning them".

Don't even get me started on porn that focuses on this "fetish". No, this isn't me shaming anyone for watching porn because I'd be a massive hypocrite, but man, some of these categories do way too much & imo, shouldn't be allowed to be a thing. Like, the amount of abusers, murderers, child predators & rapists who've been exposed for being huge porn addicts is crazy. These people will stop at nothing to find the most extreme content, even going to the fucking dark web where the illegal stuff resides. Hell, these men would rather be all these horrific things than be outed. That's how deep their bigotry goes. Hell, I'll go even further. Most of these lawmakers who actively target queer people are more empathetic to abusers, murderers, child predators & rapists than queer people. The same can be said for a lot of religious people? Why? Because they themselves are likely just as guilty of these crimes. That's how deep this goes.

I know the phrase "we need to do better" has become quite the cliche, especially online, but man, it definitely applies here. Regardless of how badly some of you wanna realise this fantasy, endangering your life & disregarding the very real dangers for the sake of cheap thrills isn't worth it in the slightest. You deserve to be loved by someone who won't treat you as less than human, their "dirty little secret", their sexual outlet. You deserve love. Real, genuine love.

Hi there, I just need to kind of vent, and it feels this could be an appropriate place to do so. I'm 26M and came out to my mom when I was 19, and since then our relationship has been a mess, from the start she let me know she doesn't support me and thinks I'm a sinner (she's very Cristian), she even told me to leave her house and that she preferred to never know of me anymore. When that happened, it was painful and somehow, I stayed with her, she kind of stopped talking about it for a while.

But then when I was 21, I got a boyfriend and we developed an amazing relationship pretty quickly, I hid him as a secret before she found out and flipped again but this time it was worse, she developed hypertension and severe headaches from the pain "that caused her" and one time she threaten to harm herself, according to her it was because it was better to feel that pain and to die than see me "become a sinner".

When that happened, it was absolutely painful and shocking, and I went back to hide my relationship, he went to another town for work, so we kept a long-distance relationship for about three years, I went to visit him pretty regularly, telling my mom that I had to travel for work. She caught me in some lies over the years and the whole thing started over, which made me start to take responsibility for her health more and more.

Since begging of this year he came back to town and we agreed we would start living together, but leaving this house has been so difficult and painful, she keeps threatening harm, her health is even worse, and she just keeps repeating she doesn't want to let me go to hell. Since the threat has been so persistent I called mental health professionals and that helped for a bit but then she doesn't want to go back, I'm afraid all the time she'll do anything to herself.

I'm at a point where my boyfriend is about to leave me because I haven't kept the promise I made, he's been very understanding and patient, but everyone has a limit and he's reaching his. I don't want to lose him because he's been nothing but amazing in these years, but my mom is at such a low it has made it so difficult.

I'm not sure if I'm asking for advice or just to vent or to ask if anyone has had any similar experiences, just thank you for reading!

I know that most people are straight and they'll make what they know, but it's not just that.

Characters can't just have relationships left up to your imagination, they ALWAYS have to get with the opposite gender, even if it comes out of nowhere or even doesn't make much sense.

Every man has to end up with a woman and every woman has to end up with a man. Almost like they want you to KNOW that these characters are STRAIGHT.
They will make characters for the sole purpose of them getting into a relationship with them.

Take Bad Guys, Mr. Wolf and Mr. Snake. These two already had a close relationship and the makings for it to turn romantic if they chose to go that way, to the point that people were shipping them together pretty hard after seeing the scene where they open up to each other while falling.
Then in the second movie Mr. Snake is suddenly already dating a woman and then Mr. Wolf kisses Diane at the end and both are given straight relationships, one of them out of nowhere

If a character isn't already in a relationship, and they're a main character, they MUST get in a heterosexual relationship. It will happen. It is inevitable. A character of the opposite gender must be introduced later.

Toothless from HTTYD, Diego, Scrat, Manny and Sid from Ice Age, Gru from Despicable Me, Puss in Boots from Shrek, Boris from Balto, Howard from Big Bang Theory, Abed from Community, and I'm too lazy to continue this list.
Every male character must get into a relationship with a female character and vice versa.
It's especially egregious in animated films and tv shows, possibly because they think it would be wrong for some reason to put gay or lesbian relationships in something children are watching.

I can't even get head canons because they always ruin that. Hell even videogame characters. I want to headcanon Ratchet from Ratchet and Clank could maybe be bi? Nope lol. Here come Talwyn, and she is listed as his canonical steady girlfriend by the dev team themselves and he still mentions her ingame.

It's kind of annoying, since I'm gay and I'll see these characters and have some small hope, since they aren't immediately shown to be straight, and I am literally always disappointed.

I've been looking into labels for my identities, specifically my romantic ones. I've found a few labels that I think work for me: gyneromantic and cupioromantic.

Incase you don't know, gyneromanticism is attraction to femininity, but not specifically women (women, feminine men, feminine enby people, etc.) (also sapphic would not work for me as I am a cis man)

Cupioromanticism is someone who identifies on the aromantic spectrum, but still desires a romantic relationship.

I'm a bit afraid that when I eventually decide to come out to people, I'm gonna have to explain my romantic orientation to everyone because of the fact that these are much lesser-known microlabels.

If anyone has gone through a similar experience or has any possible advice to share, I would greatly appreciate it!

(I'm a bit new to the lgbtqia+ community if you couldn't tell already)

Hey everyone! My partner (M32) and I (M30), from Amsterdam, are heading to South Korea in November (he’s running the JTBC Marathon in Seoul) and would love to hear from anyone who’s been. How LGBTQ+-friendly did you find it, and is there anything we should keep in mind or be cautious of as a gay couple? Btw, our straight guy friend is joining us at least for the first leg in Seoul.

We’d also love recommendations for queer-friendly spots, neighbourhoods, nightlife, or experiences that are worth checking out. Mostly just looking for advice on making the most of our trip!

I knew I was bi before I even knew what gay or bi was.

I'm coming from a LGBTQ+ supporting family, so that's not the issue..I honestly feel like I don't even have a right to complain.

The thing is, I'm surrounded by people that many of them don't like the community, so coming out was never an option(I didn't come out to my family either).

I'm also VERY girly. I'm like the last person you would believe is a part of the community at first sight..so it also makes everything a bit more difficult somehow, because even people from the community look at me twice before believing me.

I just hate myself because I feel like I'm homophonic myself sometimes..

To be honest, I kinda hate what the community has become. I don't hate the community itself, but how it is expressed. I hate pride, too extreme and idk.. I just can't relate. I find it so weird. And the thing is, I don't even know why!! I'm literally a part of the community, but I can't even feel like I am. I 100% support fighting for LGBTQ+ rights, and I will accept anybody. But sometimes, when I see the extreme people, idk, I just can't.

And I feel so bad, because I feel like if you are supporting/ a part of the community you have to accept everybody.

I'm also so confused and I have no one to talk about this with because I don't trust anybody to keep it to themselves.

I'm sorry if I offended someone, it wasn't my intention. It's a cry for help more than anything. I don't WANT to think the way I do. But sometimes I can't help but thinking: I can understand the people who hate pride and LGBTQ+ because they are only exposed to this type of people from the community who are also the ones who usually make the most negative noise.- I'm afraid to be associated with these people.

English is not my first language so I'm very sorry if there are mistakes.

I would repeat and say I wrote this post as a cry for help, not as a hating post. I WANT to accept everyone, and then hopefully also myself. I just can't convince myself all of the extreme is normal and should be accepted.

so i’m 18f, and me and my now ex boyfriend 19m have recently split up but he wants to work things out, growing up i have always felt more comfortable around guys and really nervous around girls. i am autistic so this is even more confusing for me because i don’t understand any of it, i was out clubbing last weekend and a girl kissed me and got my snapchat, i have only ever been with guys up until she kissed me. i kissed her back and we even went somewhere a little more quiet and kept kissing, ive been speaking to her on snap since then so a week now and i keep thinking about her, i also feel really guilty but im not sure if it’s because of everything thats happened or if it’s because i simply just don’t know if im bisexual or if it’s literally just i was drunk and going through a breakup but either way i feel like im a bad person.

any advice?