I need to get this off my chest because it's driving me up the wall. Loving a horse is not enough. In my world, ethical means you put the horse first, always. And if you don't, don't cry about it when you get called out for it. There is a quick way to find out whether the horse actually gets put first.

Ask yourself: what's in it for the horse?

Examples:

- competitions: for you, not the horse. But it can be a fun and nice learning experience. So you owe it to your horse to make this experience as enjoyable as possible and to prepare them well.

- Training or competitions during a heatwave: for you, not the horse

- Using harsh equipment: If you can't get your horse through a parcours without using harsh equipment and pain, it's actually just for you and not the horse.

- Stalling horses for long periods of time: for you, not the horse

- Picking a barn with an indoor arena over a barn with 24/7 turnout: for you, not the horse

- breeding your retired mare: for you, not the horse

- colorbreeding: for you, not the horse

- Selling a senior horse because you can't afford two horses but want to ride: for you, not the horse (edit: Senior horse as an old, retired horse that can't be ridden anymore. You know what I mean)

- Riding a horse that shows signs of pain or conflict behaviour: for you, not the horse

- Riding horses without taking lessons and without learning how to properly train them: for you, not the horse

- Riding them in a forced frame so it looks good: for you, not the horse

- Not learning how to motivate your horse and then punish them if they are not motivated: for you, not the horse

- saving on vet bills: for you, not the horse

- Jumping a horse that needs injections: for you, not the horse

- Clipping the muzzle: for aesthetics, so for you, not the horse

Curious to see, what other examples can you think of?

Edit: Of course there are exceptions and a grey zone. Didn't think I would need to explain that. Of course your dead lame horse should be on stall rest. Of course you don't need to call the vet if a fly bit your horse. These are just examples to get the point across.

A week ago, my lease horse died. My heart is shattered to pieces. That's what you get for falling in love with an old horse. I knew this day would come, but I thought we had more time. I wanted to be there, but fate didn't want me to. His owner was there and he went peacefully.

I can not possibly understate what a special horse he was. No words would do him justice. I have never met a horse like him and probably never will.

She took his tail hair. Do you have recommendations what to do with it? What did you do with your horse's tail? I'm at a loss and decisions are kinda hard right now.

Bear with me guys. I'm kind of a League veteran and started playing in 2013. I have always been ridiculously bad. I never played ranked or anything, my favorite mode was always ARAM and I never followed the big leagues. And as it turns out, the game is also really bad for my mental health.

I don't want to start playing again, but the game is still kinda dear to me because it brought me through some hard times.

Now, if one wanted to start watching Esports, where do I start? It's a bit intimidating for me since it's already a very established industry with a loyal fanbase. Like, does one pick a team they like and watch them? Or a specific player? Where are games streamed, on YouTube? How do Esports even work? Are there different leagues?

Eli5 please :D

Edit: thank you guys so much! I will check out your recommendations.

Here is my take on bear.

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1. Why he was doomed from the start

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To preface, I think his personality doesn't evolve at all during the film. I see it more like his personality is unravelled overtime, and we see how he reacts to different situations. Based on that logic, he doesn't change, so he is the same person from the start.

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What we know about his personality:

- He is a coward (e.g. because he doesn't have the courage to ask her out)

- He is neglectful and doesn't take responsibility (e.g. for his cat dying)

- He is selfish and doesn't care about others (because he is willing to be with Nikki even though he knows it's not really her decision)

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His wish worked in a way it did not only because of the extreme wording ("more than anyone in the world"), but because he has a twisted view on love. And Nikki doesn't share this view, evident in her saying that a love story and romance are different things. That means, it doesn't matter if he had worded it a bit differently. His wish would always entail the kind of love he fantasizes about, and it is entirely incompatible with Nikki.

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It also doesn't matter if she liked him or not. It doesn't matter if he had confessed his feelings when she straightforward asked him "Do you like me". It wouldn't even matter if they got together before the wish. Because Nikki would have never been able to love him like he wanted her to. He would never respect her autonomy (he proved that). He didn't want *her*, her didn't even know her really. Also, they are fairly incompatible, so they probably wouldn't last in the long run. At the latest when she wanted to leave town. And sooner or later that would lead to his wish anyway.

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Especially the rape scene makes it pretty obvious what kind of person he is. I'm 99% sure if the wish didn't happen, he would have taken advantage of her under different circumstances if he got the chance.

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2. What makes bear the villain

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What do I say to people who could relate to bear?

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We don't know the extent of his personality in the beginning. He seems like a hopeless romantic, pining for someone but not having the courage to ask her out. Relating to that is completely normal. And I think it was also very much intended to make him relatable in the beginning. What (hopefully) sets you apart is if you are respecting other people's autonomy and how you would handle rejection.

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It doesn't make him a villain to make the wish. What makes him a villain is that he is so passive about everything and holds on to being with Nikki despite major red flags. A good person would have been worried about her and tried to help her. A list of situations that would have gone differently if he was a good person:

- the first kiss on the bed. That was very obvious that something was going on with her. That should have been his first wake up call not to engage with her further.

- the cat memorial. He was just a bit weirded out but then moved on as if it didn't happen.

- the call with Ian. At this point he had a suspicion about the one wish Willow, but then settled on it being drugs (which she then "confirmed"). A good person would support her to get help, and not brush over it and get in a relationship with her. I'm not saying that you shouldn't be in a relationship with people who are mentally unwell, but that you should investigate and understand their behaviour instead of ignoring it.

- the dinner scene. At this point it was very obvious she was not okay. And He went on to rape her. (The list would be 99% complete with just this point.)

- when she talked in her sleep and begged him to kill her and he said "what would be... What is so about about being with me". Shows what he really values.

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It goes on, and it gets overly obvious that he doesn't care that he took away her autonomy, as long as she's "normal" and serving him happily. That doesn't mean he isn't also a victim. Wish Nikki was abusive and used manipulation tactics, and of course he didn't want to be traumatized by her or wanted his friends to die. He can be both, a victim and a perpetrator (which is pretty close to reality).

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TLDR: Bear would have raped her in any universe because he only cares about himself and doesn't care about her autonomy and wellbeing; and the wish would have happened anyway even if Nikki had feelings for him because his idea of love is incompatible with Nikki.

Ich finde es so wild wie normal es ist, Katzen einfach rauszulassen und ihr Ding machen zu lassen. Bei welchem anderen Haustier macht man das?? Man setzt ja auch keinen Hund vor die Tür, damit er "Freiraum" hat und "seinen Bedürfnissen nachgehen kann".

Und sich dann wundern, dass die abhauen, überfahren werden, gejagt werden, oder einfach bei jemandem anderen einziehen. Man hat eine Verantwortung gegenüber seinen Haustieren, man sollte für ihr Wohl und ihre Sicherheit sorgen. Eine Katze rauslassen, weil die das ja brauchen, ist absolut fahrlässig, nachlässig, Vernachlässigung, und man gibt die Verantwortung an der Katzenklappe ab. Dann muss man sich echt nicht wundern, wenn sie nicht mehr nach Hause kommt.

Dass Katzen eine invasive Art sind und hocheffektive Räuber, die die lokalen Wildtierbestände bedrohen, muss ich an der Stelle nicht mehr erwähnen.

Klar brauchen Katzen viel Platz, ein festes Revier, Abwechslung, etc. Das muss man als verantwortungsvoller Katzenhalter sich halt überlegen wie man das hinkriegt, ist aber absolut machbar, auch ohne die Katze einfach auszusetzen.

Inspired by a post comparing dog training and horse training, I am curious to learn how diverse this sub is. So, based on the quadrant of operant conditioning, where do you stand?

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