u/h1ho

We need to appreciate Singapore and each other, NOW

We need to appreciate Singapore and each other, NOW

The photo shows my CPF. I am 40 years old and unemployed for more than a year. I still have some savings, so I’m not poor. Worst case, my parents give look after me for life. Don’t feel sorry for me. I am not poor. I have no house, I have no spouse. I have no car. I have been bullied my whole life by Singaporeans. Not foreigners. By my fellow Singaporeans. Even when I’m overseas, my fellow Singaporeans bully me. Sinkie pwn sinkie. I am not poor. I do not need any pity.

Many of you have a house, a spouse, a car a job, but still feel poor. And then when I show you my CPF, you run away, you refuse to talk to me. You compare yourself to the rich, and conclude that you are poor. But refuse to compare yourself to poor people. If you compare yourself to rich, you are not rich. It does not mean you are poor. I compare myself to poor people and I know I am not poor. You must compare yourself to poor people to confirm that you are poor. But many of you despise the poor.

Sinkie pwn Sinkie. HR executive said on public TV that Singaporeans are not good enough compared to foreigners, you get upset. But you do not appreciate your fellow Singaporeans. You do not appreciate your Singaporean talents. Why should you be sad when a HR executive says that Singaporeans are not good. You should be happy, because it proves that your fellow Singaporeans have no talent.

You go overseas and post on social media how awesome other countries are. But get upset when MRT breakdown. If you think Singapore sucks, why get upset when MRT breakdown. Or when there is a fire. Or when there is a road accident. Singapore sucks, so bad things should happen. You should be happy when things go wrong, because it proves SG sucks.

You need to be aware, Singapore has very little cultural identity other than speaking English. But many do not want to speak good English. Singlish is a combination of languages found in Malaysia. Hainan chicken rice and Perankan culture originated in Malaysia. We are not long separated from Johor. We are still very much Johorian. Now more and more Chinese companies coming in. You should be happy. Cheap food, cheap goods. National identity who cares?

For those of you who want change, who want positivity, who want hope of a better future: Appreciate Singapore, appreciate your fellow Singaporeans. Stop thinking you are poor unless you really compare yourself to the poor. Or compare yourself to me. I will meet you for coffee and share my life story with you. We need to stop this self-victim mentality or we will keep on bullying one another. We need to stop thinking we are poor or we will keep looking down on each other. We need to start thinking about our national identity, and not always expect government to do it. Government says how Singaporeans can improve, many of you become cynical. How to decide national identity? Or do you want to go back to Johor?

We need to work together, we need to appreciate each other. We need to ignore the negative, and the cynical. Many people are bitter. We need to stop caring about them. We need to stop giving them attention. They are not helping by being cynical, by being condescending. They are insane if they think their cynicism and vitriol can help

We have it good in Singapore. We have succeeded against the odds. And we can go further. If we can go far with bitter people among us, think how far we can go if we have more unity. We need to start seeing the talent in each other. Start seeing the good. Tell HR executives we have talent. We are Singaporeans, we are talented. If a Singaporean struggles, we can help one another. If we can succeed as a small country, why can we not do more? We can. We need to change our mindset. It is up to you now.

The future of Singapore is in your hands.

u/h1ho — 17 hours ago
▲ 10 r/ChillSG

Tips to chill: search for peace, then positivity

Hello, I will share my journey of achieving a positive “mindset”. Although I use the word mindset, what I hav been doing is manipulating my emotions. The reason why it is difficult to achieve a positive mindset/emotions is because many of us have been exposed to emotional traumas, and those traumas stay with us until we “heal” it. The traumas are felt in your heart, and so is peace. Some people can bury their traumas so deeply they become unaware.

Different traumas will require different methods and different periods to heal completely. Some can take several years. You will know you are healing because you will slowly feel better about the situation. The process cannot be rushed. It also does not help if you think it is a difficult process. Do not confuse difficulty with time taken to heal completely.

You must find your own path, because everyone is unique. Whether you believe you have a soul or not, your emotional center is unique. But you can take inspiration from others to form your own methods. You can follow others. But once it stops working, you try something else. Sometimes, it can be as simple as watching a happy cartoon, like SpongeBob to give you a boost. Don’t be afraid to change methods. Change when you need to

Once peace is achieved, it is easy to go into positivity. I do not think positive, I feel positive. Without healing, negativity will slingshot back. So before healing, I went from high to low, to high and back to low, over and over again.

  1. School bullying

I went through a lot of school bullying, physical and verbal abuse. As an adult, I get a lot of verbal abuse. I got over it when I realize that bullies have internal issues that they do not know how to handle appropriately. So I stop taking them personally, and very quickly I made peace. I remind myself it is not my fault.

  1. Lack of romance

Singapore puts a lot of pressure on finding a marriage partner. So this was a multi-years journey. I started by learning how to love myself for about 4 years. But that was not enough. Then I needed to bring romance down from the high pedestal by appreciating whatever relationships I have, be it with friends, colleagues and relatives. Strangers too. While I was on this path, women asked me for my contact.

  1. 10 years grudge towards a person

This one seemed very difficult at first. I don’t know why I held the grudge for 10 years. It was a very childish, trivial problem. One day I met the person in a public space, went up to him and said gently: “I have been hurt by you years ago. And now I need to let go.” The person was nice enough to apologize. After that, the grudge went away by the end of the day.

  1. Failed career

My peers are now startup founders, senior appointments in companies and government agencies, professors in universities, million-dollar salespeople, medical doctor trainers, HOD in schools etc i worked very hard for my career, coming from a neighbourhood school. I might need to start over again. Possibly entry level job. I’m still unemployed so I have no idea what’s next. Interestingly, once you heal some traumas, it becomes easier to heal other traumas. It becomes easier and easier and easier. So it’s just a matter of reminding myself to love myself.

HUGE TIP: try to be neutral to everything, or detached. War, poor economy, online vitriol, tone deaf comment from PAP, MRT breakdown. Neutrality leads to peace.

BEING POSITIVE

As you heal your traumas, as you feel more and more peaceful, you will learn to control your emotions. I do not think positive. Too lazy to think so much. I prefer to think about intellectual things. What I do is feel positive. Some days, Singapore is sad, like today Monday, so I will try to maintain peace first, then gradually go positive.

✌️

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u/h1ho — 4 days ago

I am not starting a discussion here. Also not looking for opinions or perspectives, or reasons. Just sharing my observations. I have noticed this in other countries, not only SG: many men are attracted to women who have a positive personality, especially when they give off happy vibes. Even if a woman is not a hot babe, the positivity attracts quite a few men at least. I don’t want to go into the reasons, because it can border on speculation, which many people do not like.

Disclaimer: I am a heteronormative male.

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u/h1ho — 21 days ago