u/ham_solo

It was July 4th, and we were invited to a friend's house for celebrations, which included grilling some food. He was super excited as it was a new grill at his new house. He had a giant Weber charcoal grill and a whole bunch of burgers and brats.

I was looking forward to it because I grew up grilling with charcoal, and I prefer it over propane. The host, who is very nice and gracious, threw a bunch of coals on the grill, applied lighter fluid, and lit them. They then proceeded to put the grill back down and immediately throw burgers and brats onto it, directly over the flaming coals.

If you've ever cooked with charcoal, you can imagine what happened next. Burgers were somewhat salvageable, but the brats were black on the outside and raw on the inside - totally inedible.

I did my best to hold back, but eventually I had to step in and save the whole thing by explaining how charcoal works, direct vs indirect heat, etc. At this point, it was 5 pm, people were hungry, and the host was scrambling to find a store still open where they could get new food. They finally found a tiny grocery store still open and went out and brought back some very third-tier brand sausages (the ones that were burnt were a name brand).

The charcoals had also cooled at this point, so I threw a new batch in, and once they had ignited and gotten ashen, I pushed them to one side and cooked the new food using indirect heat, then finished with a sear directly over the coals. Food came out great, albeit it was nearly 7 pm at this point and people were ravenous.

So, if you haven't grilled before, please do a few trial runs and watch some tutorial vids before inviting people over for the premiere grilling event of the season.

EDIT - LOL a lot of people seem to think being able to feed 20+ people food is somehow asshole behavior. The cook did not know what they were doing. They ruined the food. They were upset about the whole thing. I offered to help, and they GLADLY ACCEPTED. I don't think I'm a hero or Gordon Ramsey. I simply knew how to use the tools that were there. If you're going to offer to cook food for people, you should be sure it's edible!

My father is in his 80s. He is not a bad person. Not violent, addicted, or anything like that. He provided every reasonable material comfort my family could need, including allowing my mom to pursue her passion project of publishing her own free weekly newspaper.

However, there is more to parenthood than money. A father is supposed to be a mentor. He is supposed to be someone who shows their kids how to maneuver the world. This was not my father. Part of it is his own path.

When he was 18, he decided he was going to spend his life focusing on a very specific academic topic. It's the only thing he has ever really pursued. He never had a hobby or really any interest in anything outside of reading his books. No sports or artistic endeavors. He didn't even have any friends who weren't directly connected to his work.

I know for a fact that I was an unplanned pregnancy. My mother has told me that my father did not want to have another child, especially one so far apart from my sibling (10+ years). My mother decided she wanted to have me, and rightfully obliged. I have a strong suspicion he never wanted kids at all.

My rearing was done overwhelmingly by my mother. She was the one who identified my needs and wants and addressed them. I was heavily into theater, and she encouraged this. I can't recall my father ever doing so much as driving me to a rehearsal. He would attend performances, say good job, etc. That was the extent of it. Most of his time was spent in his office, door closed, reading.

As a kid, you think whatever your life is like is normal. As I got older, I was surprised at how some of my friends had actual relationships with their dads. They would do things like fishing/camping/hunting, etc. When I asked my dad to do activities like that, he categorically refused, saying he had to "do all that crap" with his dad and hated it. My friends shared hobbies with their dads, went to concerts, etc. Many were just as much friends as parent/child. Mind you, there were kids who had strict dads they didn't get along with, but that was often their problem, not the parent.

Overall, I cannot think of a single thing he taught me about life. His own existence has been so calm, and without struggle, he has nothing to offer. He'd never had a real job outside of being a professor. Not even while in school. He's never had a bad boss in an office or busted his ass working at a restaurant. Never fired or laid off. Never had to punch the clock as most of us do. His sheltered existence made him a small and soft man. I greatly respect his intelligence and intellectual ability, but those things belong to him only.

Of course, I've become an adult and had to navigate the choppy waters of life. When I talk about my experience, he cannot relate in the slightest. We have literally nothing to talk about except the current book I am reading, which he never seems to be that interested in.

So, dads - remember that you are more than a wallet. Be there for your kids. Listen to them. React to them. Do things with them, even if it's not your favorite. Don't sit on your ass while they grow up without you.

I've been riding AC Transit for a long time. I'm primarily on the 88, F, and 22 lines, but I'm all over the place. I have had my share of grumpy operators over the years, so I do my best not to get on their bad side. However, over the last 6 months, I've noticed a steady increase in the absolute meltdowns that drivers seem to be having over relatively small things.

Yesterday I was coming from Downtown toward Berkeley on 88 after Oaklash, around 5 pm. I got on at Broadway next to the Wells Fargo. As usual, I got on at the front, but there were a couple who boarded at the back. They both paid, so it wasn't like they were trying to get a free ride. The driver went ballistic on them. He let loose a profanity-laden stream of conciousness calling them 'fucking idiots', 'assholes', etc. This was not simply a warning to them, but the start of a long monologue directed to nobody in particular, but he seemed to be cursing at the entire bus. A couple of stops later, still going this asshole. A woman got off the bus and gave a courtesy "thank you". The driver's response was "go fuck yourself". The muttering to himself eventually stopped, but I was honestly freaked out by this.

This was the second incident in 2 days. The day before, I got a very angry driver on the F going into San Francisco. They started driving really aggressively while chewing out passengers.

I get that people have bad days, but Jesus Christ, you are driving a gigantic projectile. Compartmentalize your shit.

Edit: I have sent a report to AC Transit about the driver of the 88 bus. Unfortunately I don't have enough info about the F bus to give anything helpful.

I want to stress this is NOT a political post. I hate everything equally /s

My father passed recently. He lived a long life and accomplished exactly what he wanted, so I am comforted in that. He was also very involved in politics. Not in the rally-attending, black-square-posting way. Rather, he was very well read across political ideologies and world events, got himself involved in local politics, voted in every election, and spoke up against things he thought were wrong.

Now, at some point, my phone number became attached to his address and his political donations, and I have been getting bombarded with texts pleading to HIM for money. This happens multiple times a day. It's really upsetting to see this every few hours:

"ham_solo's Dad: We're devastated and HEARTBROKEN by the recent DISGUSTING Supreme Court decisions..."

You get the drift. I stop and delete these, but it's like playing Whack-A-Mole, or worse. For every one text I stop, two more seem right behind it. It's become very tiring.

That's all. Any advice on getting rid of these would also be welcome.