u/hello_goodbye787

Hi everyone,

I'm posting (probably being silly) because of a comment made by a friend of a friend that my child (7 month old) might be "confused" and not have a secure attachment. I had done some research on secure attachment when I was pregnant and had felt confident because I knew my husband and I were on the same page in that I would EBF as long as seemed best for me and baby, we both don't want to sleep train and love to babywear. I guess the only attachment parenting tenant we don't do is bed-sharing (we room-share). We also comfort our daughter whenever she needs and both love to cuddle and snuggle her whenever she wakes up in the night - then I will generally nurse her back to sleep.

Here's where a comment came in: My husband and I both work full time, we have to and want to to afford live in our city. We have a lot of family help and we have a 9-5 nanny five days per week. The nanny is a relative of my husband and in his culture/immigrant community it's common for cousins or in-laws to step in and help with childcare (we also pay her a good full time wage), this to say that our nanny is both AMAZING and I believe she truly also loves my daughter and loves spending time with her. Her own boys are grown now and I know she adores loving on my daughter. Her personality is also very fun and Mary Poppins-esque. My husband is also a very doting dad and when he's not at the office he's always playing/changing/cuddling our daughter and tries to get as much face time in with her as he misses her so much during the days. I WFH so I'm always home and I EBF but our nanny is the one looking after her on the week days, she brings her in to me for feeding and we also get about 30 mins together on nannies lunch break.

Our baby seems to like us all but not prefer one person to another, this initially stung for me her mother as I kind of thought being the food source would make her prefer me. A person made a comment that she didn't think she could form a secure attachment with three equal caregivers and now I feel really sad; she doesn't look for me when I leave a room (or anyone really) she equally smiles at as all and isn't stressed at handover or anything like that. I know at 7 months it may be coming for me but I was feeling so confident about the environment that we are working so hard to provide for our girl might not be right? I'm confused and also I just got my period back lol so maybe I am hormonal!

My husband thinks that only neglected babies don't for secure attachments and that the person who made the comment is jealous of all the support I/we have but now I can't get it out of my mind.

EDIT: Wow thankyou to everyone for your kind and knowledgable comments - it has made my week!

Hi!

My baby is almost 5 mos and getting too big for the embrace which I've enjoyed using and looking for a grown up version of it. My husband has the omni 360 and I hate it (I hate the H back and the feel of it and vainly I hate the black canvas and want something whimsical).

The Oscha Bairn with shipping and conversion comes to about the same as the H&P Lark and I have decision paralysis. I mostly use the carrier around the house to get things done, short walks around the block & at the grocery store. I live in a car centric area so I'm not usually doing hours long walks etc. I am curvy (US size 14-16), short (5'2) and have really big boobs. Please help me make a choice! I hand it over to you reddit!

Hi all,

My 15 week baby has started last week with a nanny, my husband and I have sacrificed a lot to have in-home childcare (I wfh and my husband works in an office 4 days a week and home for one). We have hired a lovely woman to help us. She has two sweet children of her own (6 + 14yo) and has attended some child development courses but previously she worked as a cleaner of a friend and this is her first nanny gig. She's excited, driven and genuinely loves children / is so sweet with our baby. Both parties really want it to work out!

However, baby WILL NOT nap with her. Our baby sleeps okay in the bassinet during the night but during the day she usually contact naps on either me or her dad. One reason I was relieved about being able to have a nanny was that she could continue this until she was ready to age out. We do try for one crib nap a day but atm that only lasts about 10 mins before it has to be rescued with a contact nap. It feels frustrating because only about 3 weeks ago I swear the baby didn't care who was holding her and just wanted a warm body. But just as the nanny started she began being picky.

I need advice as I'm the one home with nanny and baby and I found my daughter's crying SO hard that I think I am sabotaging their relationship by not letting her settle with the nanny. At the moment the nanny takes the baby to the nursing glider (where we do our contact naps) and rocks her like me and her dad do. Baby sobs uncontrollably. I set a 10 min timer and then go in to see if I can help. I would be okay to let her cry for longer I guess but I can't get it out of my mind that she's crying for me and I'm not coming and it's damaging her. Does anyone have any advice?