u/hikingdyke

I've been out as nonbinary for fifteen years now, ever since my early 20s, and in that time I've been very upfront and direct with about being genderqueer.

I am also intersex (PMOS) and around when I came out I ceased the feminizing HRT I was put on as a youth and have embraced the hormonal balance my body wants to have on its own. Thanks to that, I've had a full beard since around 2015 or so.

I had top surgery last year, after more than a decade of debating on if I really wanted it or not, and truthfully it has brought me nothing but euphoria - particularly since prior to the feminizing HRT I had very small breasts, and had had them for eight full years at the size they were (I was the first in my grade to grow them, even) before being put on those medications and watching them immediatly explode into DDs in a matter of months, eventully becoming a massive size I could not tell you the specifics of, as I stopped keeping track when I began to exlusively bind or wear sports bras. I do know that according to mychart more that three and a half pounds of tissue was removed from each side of chest during my surgery. Regardless, I did just embark, last year, on the first and only really proactive transition related activity I've ever needed or desired.

I started a new job back in May, every single day since I have started I have worn a name badge with my pronouns (they/them) written on it in an even larger font than my name, and today I had an interaction with a coworker that has left me super disoriented and confused.

Today I was talking to this coworker about another coworker who I work with all day long on Mondays, who started working there just two weeks before I did. I mentioned that I had passed along something she had told me about a proceedure both he and I were performing incorrectly, but that bizzarely he did not course correct after I told him that she (someone who has worked there for several years) was the source of the information.

She rolled her eyes and told me this other coworker is a misogynist (she downplayed his misogyny but fucking hell, if he's ignoring information given by women in the workplace with more experience than him than he is a raging pos misogynist) and she had hoped he'd think the correction had come from me, so he would have take it seriously.

Now, obviously, I am not a woman. However I am accustomed to being a target of misogyny. Hell, I still regularly experience interactions where that is the case. Generally, if and when I am boxed into a binary gender, I am forced into womanhood. This is something that I have a lifetime of familiarity with, hell, I was placed on feminizing HRT against my will in my past!

Being read as a cis man by someone I interact with regularly is a totally new experience, and it feels extra strange and shitty that it is in the context of a misogynist apparently treating me with more respect than multiple women with way more experience than myself. It also just feels so fucking bizzaro world to think that this guy is an overt misogynist, and yet somehow I have never had an issue with him before now?

I very badly want to go to my manager or HR to talk to them about this guy mistreating coworkers who have valuable expertise who should be listened to, but also feel strange as the coworker who was telling me about his behavior kept minimizing it and simply rolled her eyes. As I am not the target of this man's misogyny, and apparently, per this conversation, at least three women I work with all regularly talk about it together (one of whom is our supervisor), I don't know if it is my place to say something? However I know in the past when I have dealt with misogyny (or with other forms of discrimiation), I would have really appreciated if others who were not being targeted had also expressed that what I was experiencing was unacceptable?

However, ever since I heard about this I have wondered if my voice would function in that role of support, since all of my legal paperwork still says F on it (I live in a state with X as a legal option, however I have decided not to touch any of my paperwork until such a time where we are not being so targeted) and of course my employeer is very well aware that not only is that my legal gender designation as it is all over my papers, but also that I am nonbinary (as I said, I wear my pronouns on my chest ever single fucking day, and I honestly am suprised anyone would read me as a cis guy as, again, even with the beard I've never been on T and have a feminine face and very high pitched - even if I was a cis woman it'd be described as exceedingly super high pitched and feminine - voice).

This is a situation I have never been in before, never expected to be in, and frankly it is really confusing me. I just feel so strange in so many different ways. It is beyond bizzare to me that I have been so open about being nonbinary from day one at this job, that I continue to live my life with a body that is so super neither/both in terms of presentation, and yet I am being hedged into a binary gender, and most strangely into one I have no experience being boxed into prior to now? I reaally have never considered how familiar being read as a woman is for me until now. Plus, if I am indeed being afforded a touch of male privilage, even for a moment, I'd want to use it to for good, but I honestly don't know how to in this situation?

IDK, I just ended a therapy session where I spent the bulk of the session just starting to grasp at what it was about that conversation that left me so out of sorts, and think I just needed to ramble about it some more, and (as much as I love my therapist) think I need to also share with others who live outside of binary gender constructs and hear if any of you may have thoughts on good ways to move forward or even just... make sense of how strange and unfamiliar this all feels and how it for some reason is highlighting how much people will do everything they possibly can to force you into a binary gender against your will no matter how overt your nonbinary identity is, in a way being misgendered as a woman doesn't for me?

I am not on Instagram, Facebook or Musk's fascist cesspool, so I am unable to check establishments socials to see -

Does anyone know of anywhere in the city that will probably be playing tonight's game? Like have any of the places known for showing Liberty games been advertising showing Heights games now too?

I don't have ESPN, but really want to watch, and think it would be fun to do that with others.

On Wednesday my 80 y/o mother fell down what has been described to me as either a full flight of stairs, or 15 steep steps.

She and a friend had arrived at another friend's home for their weekly card game. My father was arriving separately to join them for the game.

My mom entered the building first, found that the vestible entryway was dark, and as she could not see with the lights off she opened the first door she saw and stepped through it. She insists that she figured that since the basement door is always locked, she felt that if it opened it had to be the apartment.

It was, of course, the basement door. She fell down the stairs when she stepped through. According to both the friend who came in after her and the friend who lives there, my mother got up as soon as she hit the basement floor, walked right back up the stairs, and insisted she did not need an ambulance - my father could drive her to the ER once he arrived (which he did).

At the ER they did a ton of tests and scans, but only found one singular fractured bone in her body - the wrist of her dominant hand, which she had reached out and used to break her fall.

Today she is complaining about severe rib pain, and wants me (I rushed up to help when I heard about her falling down stairs) to take her back to the ER for them to try and figure out what is going on.

I am just confused, and scared, and feel very lucky she walked away from that fall at all, much less with only a fractured wrist.

I've been worried about her cognition for two years now, and find her story about how this happened off, although both the woman who lives in that apartment and the one who entered after her have described the vestible as "pitch dark" when I have asked about it. Still, I am concerned about her opening a door to a stairwell and not noticing before she took a step forward. Particularly because another friend in that friend group died due to falling down a flight of stairs just three years ago.

Mostly I am wondering - is there anything I should ask them to look for at the ER today?

Hey all,

A good friend who normally is a season ticket holder and is huge Liberty fan is leaving next week for a mandatory year abroad for her graduate program.

Very last min. question, but I am going out for dinner tonight with her in the Park Slope area, and I am wondering what places are good (but not super expensive) that will have the game on? Want to make this goodbye as fun as possible.

Obs I can find lists like the Liberty Bar Network, but I'd love to hear recs from actual people, you know?