u/himmelsleiter

I feel anxious in my whole city and new social circles. I have a high mistrust towards meeting new people up to the point of refusing to say my name when introducing myself.

That's the result of almost all of my social circle having not believed me, relativized, ignored, or blamed me after months-long relationship abuse I had endured. I fought for months getting people from my social circle to believe me to no avail. They simply wouldn't believe a man (= me) could experience relationship abuse and domestic violence by a woman. Today I learned this is called “secondary victimization”.

Also, whenever I'm at events where I could accidentally see some of those people, I get intense nausea and distress.

Do you think this is curable? A psychiatrist recommended me to visit an in-patient trauma hospital (voltunarily).

I have many of the symptoms listed in the pinned thread (perceived shortness of breath and clogging in throat, hypervigilance, feeling of fear and doom, etc.). However, there is nothing that peaks. It is constant, for multiple hours, sometimes up to the whole day even.

Is this still called panic attack?

And what can I do about it?

I had CBT therapy 3 years ago and it did not help because my panic disorder wasn't noticed and (I think) misdiagnosed as borderline personality disorder.

Today, my ENT doctor recommended me to never get a dog. Both, a skin prick test as well as the blood test, test positively for dog allergy.

But I really, really like dogs. Whenever a friend brings one or I see one in a park that I can play with, I am excited. With some dogs I get wheals, with others (e.g. Golden Retrievers) I am asymptomatic!

I kind of dreamt of having a dog, and now that dream is gone? :(

I read on the Internet that some allergic dog owners simply take antiallergic pills every day or endure allergic symptoms. I don't want to do that, too risky to do longterm (adverse effects of pills, development of asthma).

Almost every time in my life I began kissing a person and then having some kind of dating/situationship relation from then on, my whole system got dysregulated.

The person would then start to dominate my thoughts. I'd feel constantly uneasy and anxious about the relation. Often I want them to choose me, even though I don't even like them that much or despite incompatibilities.

I'd fancy experiencing intimacy nowadays, be it cuddling, kissing, or sex.

But too afraid it could shake my life. My life is already quite unplanned/unstable right now.

Maybe it'd make sense to look for intimacy outside my social circles, so I could always avoid them if things turned out to be to stressful... but also I don't want to replicate this isolating modern dating environment.

Makes sense to anyone? Any ideas?

I (27m) have been feeling strong distress every day for years. I need a good differential diagnosis, or at least some topics I can bring up for discussion with doctors.

Some facts about me:

• got a master's degree and some research experience in STEM (excellent grades)
• living alone, since graduation basically jobless – because I got a bit of money, but mainly because of the whole distress I'm experiencing
• was in an abusive relationship at the end of my master's degree – a year of weekly major conflicts, emotional and physical violence (she had borderline clinically diagnosed)
• lifelong touch starved - I receive almost no touch per day, maybe two hugs per week, touch can also be a strong trigger for me incl. anticipatory anxiety of people touching me unwantedly
• loneliness - 5 out of 7 days per week I am lonely, not meeting anyone with whom I have a deeper connection
• suffered from emotional neglect and daily domestic & emotional chaos by parents in my childhood, my mother had completely dysfunctional conflict management
• had been chronically suicidal, beginning as a teenager up until now – though this year it got a lot better
• I love doing intense sports and intense political community work (really passionate about this)

I rarely find relief from my distress, if I do, then it is temporally because

• I spent time with people I connect to
• I shared physical touch with people I connect to

I had CBT therapy three years ago. My therapist mainly diagnosed me with medium depression and accentuation of borderline. I'm not sure if I agree to those main diagnoses. My main and most debiliating symptom is distress.

I'm open to all suggestions. I'm open to relocating and drastically changing something.