u/hinasilica

I last went in 2022. I got pregnant in 2023 and sold my tickets. I just started going to shows again and the culture seems fucked now, and maybe it’s my Denver bubble. I now hate red rocks, people go in and throw pashes over the seats to save spots for their friends showing up 2 hours later. They start territory fights, like actual physical fights. Many people arent there for the culture, just to party. The only actually plur shows are the small ones. Which is fine, red rocks sound ordinance is wack anyway. But I’ve been forced into going to only very small shows because otherwise I’m surrounded by chads and it’s just not the same.

I invested in LL this year again, and it means a lot to me because it’s the last festival I went to before my life changed and it means that I am finally getting back to myself. Is it going to be super commercialized and full of young ravers that don’t know the older culture? I don’t inherently have a problem with the culture changing, my concern is that it wont be as accepting and safe as it once was. And 2022 wasn’t that long ago but in 2022 red rocks was a completely different vibe, that’s what I’m basing my concern off.

I am a single mom to a 2.5 year old little boy and trying to just take my son to places that we can both enjoy, I really don’t understand how to manage the dynamic though. Due to the nature of my relationship with his father I got out of a bad situation with literally no friends and no family so it’s really just me. I’m struggling socially but trying to get out into the world for the first time in a few years.

I can take my son to the zoo or childrens museum and I understand expectations there; he’s a kid and he can do what he wants (within reason) and everyone’s okay. I just took him to a very kid friendly beer garden, like literally 50 kids running around and playing, and ended up dropping my entire plate of food because someone’s dog lunged at my son and I reacted, because I don’t have anyone to get my food or watch my son. My son was playing with some other kids, which is great, but then there’s me sitting alone just hovering over my son because what else can I even do. I try to bring him to restaurants and feel like I’m getting the side eye because he’s naturally a loud kid, not screaming but he just talks loudly non stop.

I don’t know what the issue is, it’s probably a mix of social anxiety and not knowing what’s expected of me and my son, then also just overwhelmed by the lack of help. I want to scream sometimes. I get scared by him being too loud in public, or he tries to play with other kids toys and I don’t know if the parents are going to get upset. Sometimes I am so tempted to ask someone else with children nearby if they can just watch mine for 5 minutes tops while I go grab our food because he doesn’t want to stop playing, but I don’t know if that’s acceptable. Am I allowed to ask if my son can play with another kids toys? Do I just stop trying and give up until my son is a little older and can listen better? He’s a really good kid, he shares and has manners, and plays nice. But he is just extremely energetic, loud, not shy at all, will be in your face trying to talk and he doesn’t mean anything by it other than just to talk. He just has a huge personality and it makes me self conscious. I don’t know. I just feel like I don’t know the basic social rules of having a child in public.

Please don’t say “have someone help you”; my families across the country, my son’s father is a POS, I haven’t socialized in years since I was in a DV relationship and now a single mom. I’m in good spirits, I also don’t need sympathy, seriously. I’m good, just trying to figure out how to manage recovery alone and with a super energetic 2 year old.

I honestly thought I’d be fine until I started reading some posts in this community, now I’m pretty nervous. So I can’t lift my child, I know that. I have planned to make a bunch of food ahead of time that I store in a deep freezer, that way I can keep providing myself and son healthy meals while I probably don’t feel like cooking. Then the usual stuff like heating pads and probably a lot of movie nights with kiddo. But otherwise I don’t know what to anticipate, is this even going to be possible? I know everyone’s recovery depends on what they find when they go in, and also just individual tolerances to anesthesia and surgery. So best case scenario I’m sure I’d manage, if I were just down for a few days then able to move around and function more after that. But what if it’s worst case scenario?

ETA: I feel like it might be relevant but I’ve had a few surgeries, not laps, before and have never had a bad reaction to anesthesia or pain meds. I guess it could still happen, but I’m not anticipating that at the very least.