Having trouble accessing healthy aggression. Is this a "raised Quaker" thing or a me thing?
Hello, friends!
I spent most of my childhood (pre-k through 10th grade) in various Quaker schools in Pennsylvania. My parents didn't identify as Quakers (heck, many of my teachers didn't) but I was immersed in the culture. Naturally, I was brainwashed!!! and indoctrinated!!! into becoming a nice, kind, independent-minded adult who doesn't spend a lot of money on clothes. All well and good.
I've been wondering, though, about the relationship between all that good stuff and the parts of my personality I don't particularly like. I don't interrupt people, even in social settings where the norm is very clearly that you're supposed to interrupt people, so I end up saying much less than everyone else. I have a lot of trouble doing any kind of self-promotion. I'm cringing a bit just writing this post in the first person--I don't like taking up space.
It's belatedly occurring to me (I turned 40 last year) that maybe there are some common failure modes for people who got a Quaker education and then dropped the community cold turkey afterwards. Like, maybe I stayed long enough to learn how not to be a jerk, but not long enough to get the special bonus lessons on how to function in society without being a jerk?
To be clear, I'm not filing a bug report here. My problems are mine, they come primarily from me, and I don't even really consider myself wronged by this on net. I'm just sharing and asking if this resonates with anyone.