u/i_died_yesterday_18

Where are the concerned- scared parents now?

TW:mentions of self harm/death.

Long post ahead

Ya'll know a few months back when there were these cases consistently popping up about women k*lling their husbands and people were talking about "Blue Drum treatment."

Istg, i heard more than enough concerned parents who were worried for their son's life. They were worried about getting him married at all. Many uncles said, ' i don't want my son to get married and d*e. He is good as is."

Where are these parents now when the dowry cases are getting the short spanned limelight of instagram attention (despite being a systematic failure for centuries.)???

Huh? I didn't hear a single middle aged man 'joking' how he is scared to get his daughter married off because of all this.

I heard 'caring mothers' are telling their daughters to come back home in case of any mishap, and that they will always take her back. Which sounds nice and necessary but is also, not making much of a difference imo. Because you tell your daughters that they will always have your support and then you go ahead and mock divorced women or 'older' unmarried women, calling them cursed an witchy in front of the same daughters. Those women know what's in store for them if they try to get divorced.

In the case of guys, parents were ready to have an unmarried son**, but unmarried daughters?!?! Who are more likely to de because of how normalised this systematic abuse is?????*

NO GIRL YOU WILL GET MARRIED ANYHOW AND EVEN THOUGH WE WILL BE THERE TO 'TAKE YOU BACK', WE WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU MUST ADJUST!

The social stigma around divorce, is unfortunately much worde than its for dowry. THAT is the reason of this systematic collapse.

PS: I don't know if my point was clear enough, I was just exhausted of all the jokes about how wives kill their husbands and then utter silence after the dowry deaths.

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u/i_died_yesterday_18 — 16 hours ago

Looking for a flats or replacing old flatmates

I am 24F, working. Looking for a room to share in 2/3 BHK near Magarpatta/Amanora/Kharadi (Pune) by 15th May

preferences:

no restrictions on family and friends

non-vegetarian (no food restrictions pls)

if anyone has any leads, knows of a place, or can help me find one - please DM me

would really really appreciate the help

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u/i_died_yesterday_18 — 14 days ago

​

TIL that my mom is actually an Ally!! As a closeted at home bi, it was a great news! She was telling me how someone she knows got their son married via arranged marrige. The woman who was forced was actually lesbian and hence they proceeded terminate the marrige after it took her a year to tell what's wrong and why she didn't want him close to her

I just commented, "if gay marrige was legal, none of this would happen. I don't thinkits the lady's fault. This whole thing should be blamed on her family for forcing her. Not everyone gets the privilege to earn financial independence at a young age and sabe themselves". And my mother simply agreed???? Like😭 she made some weird comments a couple of years ago but I just gave her a disgusted look and never dared to discuss it because I was scared.

But this time she just said, "Ofcourse it should be legal. Aren't they people who simply want a loving beautiful life? I've watched enough movies to understand that, they are also people just like you and me."

THIS!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN SCREAMING "REPRESNATION EFFING MATTERS " to all my friends since yesterday.

My mother loves watching movies with good stories(she rarely likes extremely commercial movies) and the movies she saw in past few years really did change her perspective.

The movies I know she definetly are : Nukkad Natak, Badhai Do, Shubh Mangal Zyada Savdhan, Majama, Accused and ofcourse my constant re runs of Modern Family that she has seen in passing. If there are more she watched on her own then I am not aware.

I don't care if people think Netflix pushes an agenda in every movie😭😭

Because that agenda and representation and positive storytelling makes a fucking difference. I would NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THIS.

Tell your stories people, through books, art, songs, poem, movies, comics, painting, in regional art forms and in native languages. JUST EVERYTHING.

Art and stories do bring change.

PS: I'm still not sure if its the right time to come out to her, but its a step in the positive direction. I'm sorry for the long post. I am just super excited!!

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u/i_died_yesterday_18 — 20 days ago