u/idsjdbebe

My coworker got mad that I took half a day off to get my residence card last week. I got the letter saying my new residence card was ready, and I went to pick it up a few days later. I literally explained to my boss that I got the letter and had to go get it this Thursday, and he was like “yeah, okay, sure.” Just in case, before taking the day off, I even messaged the coworker I’m close with on LINE so they’d know where I was if anyone asked.

Then (Friday), I got my new residence card. We had a meeting to talk about problems at the company this week and how to solve them, and one of my coworkers who’s a senpai brought up my half day off. He said it was よく無いbecause it was so sudden and it was 迷惑 for him and the others since they had to do some of my paperwork.
(They barely did anything btw)

Apparently they were also saying stuff like when i came back after taking half the day off and worked only just 3 hours, that i didn’t seem guilty enough and there was no “謝罪してる気配がない”they also said that if I wanted to take a day off, I should’ve written it on theシフトボード a month in advance.

I literally told them I couldn’t do that because the notice for the residence card was only like a week and a half before. I had no way of knowing a month in advance when the letter would come.
Then he and another coworker started being passive-aggressive, saying stuff like 誤ってて言わないけどでも社員としてこれはよく無いだけ。そこだけわかって欲しい Basically saying “I’m not saying u should apologize but as a full time worker u should be more responsible”

Even one of my foreign coworkers defended me and said there wasn’t really anything I could do about it. Once you get that letter, it’s best to go get it within the week, and 入管can have a huge line where it sometimes takes hours just to get everything done. And I returned to the company to finish my days work But they didn’t really listen. To them, everything I said was just an excuse lol.

I didn’t want to escalate it so I just said I’ll be more careful next time. But honestly next time instead of telling them I have to go somewhere important I might just take the whole day off and say I have a headache
It’s honestly hard explaining to some people here that sometimes foreigners and Japanese people can have different circumstances when it comes to stuff like this.

I’m in my 20s and I’m currently taking care of my grandpa who has dementia. We argue a lot because he’s really stubborn and doesn’t listen to me. He always says things like “I’m the owner of this house if u don’t like it then leave” or “I don’t want to be told what to do by someone younger person like you” I guess it hurts he’s pride?? Idk

He also tells people around us some crazy stuff because of his dementia and then we end up arguing about it. He barely showers too. Sometimes it’s only once a month if lucky. He also spends a lot of his savings and pension on gambling every weekend which has always been a bad habit of his.

I’m constantly working and I can’t properly look after him anymore. My parents aren’t with us either and I need to move to a different place soon. At this point I’m thinking about putting him in a nursing home because I don’t really have another option.

The problem is he’s extremely stubborn. What happens if he refuses to go? What if he leaves the nursing home or tries to come back home?
Is there any way to stop him from spending all his savings and pension on gambling? I don’t really have control over his money and I’m worried he’ll eventually have nothing left.

Can a nursing home deal with someone like this or is there another type of facility I should be looking into? Any advise would help thanks 🙏

My grandpa has dementia and after he got diagnosed he started changing a lot. We all used to live together as one family at his house. He was kind before but over time he became really difficult to deal with.

He started saying that he felt like he was dying and gave his savings and some of his properties to relatives that he actually had a terrible relationship with. My grandma and everyone else argued with him and told him not to do it because they knew it wouldn’t work and those relatives probably wouldn’t take him back. He did it anyway. I think he was hoping that giving them his money and property would make them accept him again.

After that because of his dementia he started accusing my grandma of stealing everything from him including his savings and properties. They argued about it a lot and eventually he started raising his hands at her. That was the final straw and my grandma divorced him and left with my dad and the rest of my family.
I was left behind to take care of him because everyone was basically tired of dealing with him. But he kept taking his frustration out on me too. We argue a lot because I can’t really tell him what to do or make him understand things. At the end of our arguments he always says it’s his house and tells me to get out.

He also tells visitors and friends that he has no money because his wife stole everything from him. If I try to explain what actually happened he just argues with me. Then later he completely forgets the conversation. It feels like in his mind he only remembers that he has no money and his brain connects it to my grandma stealing it.
I don’t know if this is normal behavior for someone with dementia. The paranoia and accusations and forgetting conversations and becoming aggressive.

I feel really sad about everything that the family broke apart but I’m seriously thinking about leaving him and cutting ties with him. I feel guilty about it but I’m honestly exhausted and I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this.

Has anyone else been through something similar with a family member with dementia?

Owning a fish tank in Japan is the worst lol. A massive earthquake just hit and all the water from my tank spilled everywhere. Now I’m using every towel I own trying to clean the stuff up
Anyone else here keep fish at home? How are you guys dealing with stuff like this during earthquakes?

Soo I just ate at Yoshinoya and tried paying with my debit card, but it didn’t work. Then I remembered my visa expired yesterday, even though I applied for the renewal about a month ago.

It got kinda awkward because I didn’t have any cash on me. I even tried withdrawing money from the MUFG ATM across the street, but that didn’t work either so I left my number and my stuff at Yoshinoya, went home since I live nearby, got some cash, and came back to pay

I thought you could still use your card while your visa renewal is being processed? I was also using LUUP and got a mail noticed the auto-payment was unsuccessful.

Does this mean I can’t use my mufj debit card for card payments or online payments until my visa renewal is fully approved? Does mufj the only bank that does this, or do other Japanese banks do the same thing?

Most of my money is in my ufj bank account so I’m kinda worried about how I’m supposed to withdraw money receive my income and pay bills for the next 2-3 months if I can’t use my card or withdraw cash. It’s lowkey annoying having to do everything manually and carry cash around

Would really appreciate some advice from anyone who’s dealt with this before thanks!

I woke up today and found out that my Instagram account had been suspended for allegedly violating the Community Guidelines.

I genuinely don’t know what I did. Last night I was literally just doomscrolling Instagram and laughing at memes. A few videos containing gore popped up while I was scrolling, but I didn’t upload or share any of that content.
I also recently heard that someone may have been trying to get into my account, so now I’m wondering if my account could have been compromised or if Instagram’s system mistakenly flagged something.

I’ve already submitted an appeal, but I’m honestly freaking out because I’ve had this account for around 10 years and there’s a lot of memories and stuff on there.
Has anyone dealt with this before? Is there anything else I should do while I wait for the appeal? Is there any way to contact Instagram directly or improve my chances of getting the account back?

Any advice would really help thanks:(

My girlfriend (she’s half Japanese) and I are both in our early 20s.
A few days ago, she texted me saying she had been sexually assaulted by one of her coworkers. He forcibly touched her private parts without her consent.
She reported everything to her boss and the police. Her boss was really supportive, and the guy admitted to what he did, so he was fired immediately The police also took him in for questioning.

Later, there was a meeting at the police station with my girlfriend, both of her parents the guy and his parents. All showed up Her dad was understandably furious not just at the guy for what he did, but also at the way the police were handling the situation. During the meeting, the guy and his parents apologized and offered my girlfriend ¥5,000,000 as an apology/settlement, but she refused because, in her words “It’s not about the money”

What upset us even more were some of the comments made during the process. One police officer reportedly told her (今度からはそんな服着ないでね) (Next time don’t wear clothes like that) During the meeting someone also said, (確かにセクハラしたのも悪いけど、肌見せすぎるのも良くない)(What he did was wrong, but showing too much skin isn’t good either)

The thing is, she wasn’t wearing revealing clothes at all. She had on a long summer dress that went down to her knees. The only skin showing was her shoulders. It’s kinda messed up how you could still find a way to blame victims after what happened
She’s been devastated ever since and barely wants to leave the house. Thankfully, her boss has been incredibly understanding and gave her time off until she’s feels ready to come back.

What really shocked me was that just a few days later, the guy was back out. As far as I know, he lost his job, but I don’t know if he received a criminal record or if the case is still ongoing.

Is this kind of outcome normal in Japan, or is there usually more happening behind the scenes that victims don’t see? I’m just trying to understand how cases like this are typically handled. Cos it looks like offenders here just get a slap on the wrist and let go

Edit: appreciate everyone sharing their experiences and knowledge. It’s helped me understand the situation a lot better as far as I know I believe they’re still planning to press charges I think since she didn’t accept the settlement. I just hope she gets the justice she deserves

so I’ve always wondered about this.
How different is Spanish from Spain compared to the Spanish spoken in South America? Can you all understand each other normally, or are the differences bigger than I think?

For comparison, in English we have American, British, and Australian English. We can all communicate, but Americans often think British English sounds more formal or “fancy,” while Australian English has a very different accent and slang. Is Spanish similar to that, or are the differences between Spain Spanish and South American Spanish much bigger?

The reason I’m asking is because I had some Hispanic classmates who actually failed Spanish class, and that really confused me since they already spoke Spanish. I kept thinking, “If they already speak Spanish, how do they fail Spanish?” So I started wondering if the Spanish taught in school is different from the variety they grew up speaking, or if there’s another reason.

Can people from Spain and South America generally have a normal conversation without any problems, or do certain accents, words, or grammar make it difficult? I’d love to hear how people from both Spain and South America see it.

I grew up in a really messed up household, and now that I’m in my early 20s and planning to move out by the end of this year, I keep asking myself if I’ll ever be able to forgive my parents.

My mom never really cared about me the way a parent should. She cheated on my stepdad a lot and would bring the guys she was seeing over while he was at work. Some of those guys were abusive. When I was around 8 years old, a couple of them beat me badly enough to leave bruises. That’s something I’ve never forgotten.

My stepdad wasn’t much better. He never really saw me as his son. He used to tell my mom that he didn’t want my younger brother playing with me because I was “dumb” and he didn’t want him to be influenced by me. He would say things like, “He’s our kid,” talking about my younger brother, as if I wasn’t part of the family. My mom would just agree with him. He only cares for my younger brother cos it’s blood related to him and he would sometimes tell me to leave the house cos I’m not he’s son he has no responsibility for me

Because of how I was treated i ended up feeling jealousy of my brother he had love attention. And opportunities that I never had I hate that I feel that way because none of it was he’s fault he’s just another kid who grew up in the same family the anger isn’t towards him it’s towards my parents but sometimes those feelings still creeps in and I hate it

The thing that’s making this even harder is that my stepdad now has early Alzheimer’s disease. My mom and my younger brother have already moved out, so he’s basically alone. I was planning to leave this year too, but a part of me feels guilty because despite everything, he still provided for me in some ways, and there isn’t really anyone else to look after him.

I’m planning to cut almost everyone in my family out of my life by the end of this year. The only person I want to stay in contact with is my younger brother.

I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive my parents. Part of me wants to let go because carrying this anger is exhausting. Another part of me feels like they never took responsibility for anything they did. They never apologized. They just acted like everything was normal.
I look at other people who had normal childhoods, and I can’t help feeling sad and angry that mine was so different. Has anyone else struggled with forgiving parents after growing up in a home like this? Did you ever find peace, or is it okay to accept that forgiveness just might not happen?

I’m kinda curious. With international marriages becoming more common in Japan, what’s the most common mixed background you’ve noticed? And what’s the rarest?

I went to school in Tokyo, and from my experience, Japanese-Filipino seemed to be the most common.

Among the people I knew who were mixed, most of them were Japanese-Filipino. I feel like if you asked a lot of Japanese people, they’d probably say the same, but I’m not sure if that’s true for the whole country.

Okinawa is probably different, where I’d guess Japanese-American is more common because of the U.S. military presence.

The rarest mix I’ve personally come across was Japanese-Romanian.

I’m curious what everyone else’s experience has been. What’s the most common mixed background you’ve seen where you live in Japan? And what’s the rarest?

So I’ve lived in Japan for a long time, so I’m pretty used to the food. I was talking to a friend from Europe who came to Japan, and while we were chatting, the topic of food came up. She said Japanese food is kinda bland because they don’t really use much seasoning. I was like, “Really?”

But then I actually thought about it. A lot of Japanese food keeps the seasoning pretty simple mostly soy sauce, salt, miso, dashi, Ajinomoto.

I’m originally from Florida, and I remember when we’d do BBQ or cook at home, we’d use way more spices and seasoning. I don’t really know what it’s like in Europe though.

I guess it kind of goes both ways too. When Japanese people try foreign food, it’s kind of 50/50. Some seem to like it, while others say 「味が強い」 (“the flavor is too strong”).

I’ve also heard a few family members who visited Japan say the same thing, so now I’m wondering if she’s actually right. At this point, I think my taste buds are just used to both, so I honestly can’t really tell anymore lmao.

Do most foreigners find Japanese food bland, or is it just something you get used to after living here? Thanks!

I currently have a part-time job in the morning until the afternoon, and I’m thinking about getting a second job in the late afternoon/evening.

My main job already deducts my taxes and 社会保険, so I’m a bit confused about how it works if I have a second job.

I remember being told that I have to report my second income, but some of my Japanese friends who worked two jobs told me they either forgot to report it or just never did because 「めんどくさいからやってない」 (“I don’t do it because it’s a hassle.”).

I grew up half my life here, so I’m still figuring out how the rules work differently for foreigners and Japanese people. I’ve heard that foreigners are sometimes held to a higher standard or face stricter consequences for mistakes, so I just want to make sure I’m doing everything correctly.

Do you have to do it every month or just once a year?
Cos on how they say it’s too hassle

My visa has no restrictions on how many hours I can work, so that’s not an issue.

Has anyone here been in a similar situation or knows how it works? Thanks in advance

I’ve been thinking about switching carriers and wanted to hear some opinions.

Right now I’m using au, and I’m paying around ¥7,000+ a month for unlimited data. I noticed that Rakuten Mobile’s unlimited plan is only around ¥3,000, which seems like a huge difference.

For those of you using Rakuten, is it worth switching? How’s the coverage and speed, especially if you use a lot of data?

I’d love to hear your experiences before I make the switch.

So I have a problem with my grandpa who has dementia, and I’m looking for advice from people who have gone through something similar.

He likes to wander off, so usually someone in the family has to follow him. The problem is that he gets angry when he notices someone following him around. If nobody follows him, there’s a chance he’ll end up causing problems without meaning to.

For example, the last time he wandered off, he got into an argument with a stranger because he accidentally spat on them. By the middle of the argument, he had already forgotten what happened and kept denying that he did it.
Luckily, we found him, apologized to the stranger, and explained that he has dementia.

Then when we tried to take him home, he started asking who we were and refused to come with us. He even started yelling for help from people nearby. In the end, we had to carry him to the car, but from the outside it probably looked like we were kidnapping an old man.

I know this probably won’t be the last time something like this happens. Is there any way to reduce situations like this in public? We can’t realistically lock him in the house, but we’re worried he’ll get lost or get into a more serious incident one day.

Any advice or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

This might be a dumb question, but is it actually true that Japan is one of the hardest countries to get citizenship/nationality in?

I’ve seen a few videos and comments online saying that it’s extremely difficult, but I never really looked into it. From what I know, you need to have lived in Japan for a long time, have a stable income, pay your taxes, and not have any legal problems.

Isn’t that pretty normal for a lot of countries, especially in the West? What makes Japan different or more difficult compared to other countries?

Sorry if I’m not very informed on this. I’ve lived in Japan for years and never really thought about it until recently, so now I’m curious how it compares to other countries.

it’s my first time taking care of someone with dementia, and I need some advice.

I currently live with my grandpa and help look after him because his dementia has gotten worse. One issue is that he rarely wants to take a bath. Every time I bring it up, he tells me he’ll do it tomorrow, but when tomorrow comes, he says “tomorrow” again. Eventually he gets frustrated if I keep asking, and it turns into an argument.

I’ve also tried offering to help clean him with wet towels instead, but that usually makes him angry. He says I’m treating him like a child and refuses that too.

Another problem is that he’s stopped using the toilet consistently. Sometimes, especially when he’s in his room, he’ll open the sliding glass door and pee into the yard instead of going to the bathroom. He still knows how to use the toilet and does use it at times, which is why I’m confused. It seems random when he decides to do this instead of using the toilet.

I’ve tried explaining that he shouldn’t do it, especially during the daytime because neighbors or children might see him, but he usually tells me to be quiet or gets upset. I also realize that reminding him may not help much because he often forgets the conversation afterward.

Has anyone dealt with similar situations? Is there a way to help change his routine or encourage better habits without causing arguments? Any advice would be appreciated thanks🙏

I’ve lived here since high school and used to wear cologne a lot, but some friends told me strong western perfumes/colognes make them feel dizzy. They said people here usually prefer lighter, sweeter, or refreshing scents instead of really strong ones. After hearing it from a few different people, I kinda stopped using it most of the time.

Now I kinda get what they mean, especially on packed trains. Sometimes tourists walk by wearing really strong perfume/cologne and I can see why some people get bothered by it lol. I’m used to strong scents myself so I don’t really mind it personally, but it made me curious if other people changed their habits after moving here too.

How do you guys afford to travel back home these days?

I’m from Florida, and every few years I try to go back to the U.S. for about 2 weeks to see family. But lately it feels almost impossible to justify financially with the weak yen.

Round-trip tickets are like 250,000-300,000 yen, and that alone already takes a huge chunk out of my savings. And once I’m actually in the U.S., the cost of living there now is so high that I end up spending way more than expected.

I get that flights within Asia can be cheaper, but for people from Europe or North America how are you managing it? Are you just saving aggressively, using points, finding deals, or just accepting the cost?