u/ilovemycats180

I got kicked off my family insurance so I am no longer able to refill my medication and see my therapist until I figure something out and it is majorly affecting me. For a long time, I used to obsess over the idea of death and that I am going to die one day every single minute of my life, and it would keep me from sleep every night because I thought I would die in my sleep. But lately it’s manifested into being convinced I have some sort of cancer, disease, illness, etc. It has gotten to the point where I cannot fully enjoy myself while I’m out doing things because I ALWAYS think, “well this is fun but it’s too bad I have cancer.” or, I freak out thinking I have a brain tumor or I’m about to have a brain aneurysm. I constantly feel all over my body trying to find any lumps or bumps or over analyze any symptoms I feel. I will spend the entire day feeling or thinking about what I think I feel on my body or a weird head feeling I had, and end up looking up the symptoms which ultimately sends me down an entire spiral. When I see a certain symptom that’s clearly not what’s happening to me it gives me reassurance for a few seconds until I go “well if it’s not this maybe it’s this?” and it’s draining me. I can’t get myself out of the cycle no matter how much reassurance I get because anything can happen to anyone regardless of family medical history or a clean health slate, and I’m scared that because I think like this so much I’m subconsciously manifesting it somehow, so when I try not to think about it I end up thinking about it 10x more.

for the last few weeks, i have found myself convinced i have every illness, disease, cancer, etc in the world. i can’t enjoy anything without thinking, “well this is nice but it sucks i may have cancer.” without any solid proof. i have no history and no family history of any illnesses, (only my grandma has had breast cancer but she is the only one in my entire family who’s had something) and i go through loops of anxiety thinking I’m sick and i obsess over feeling all over my body for lumps or bumps, over analyzing every “symptom” I’m feeling and look them up and i cant stop myself. no matter how much i reassure myself or i get reassurance from my therapist and the clean blood work i’ve had i cant get myself out of this cycle. its so draining. i had to get off my medication and I’m no longer able to see my therapist because i was kicked off my family insurance so I’m not sure what to do.

a few months ago, I had my first horrible horrible panic attack. I genuinely thought I was going to die of a heart attack, (I know, classic panic attack) and ended up having my dad drive me to the ER at 3 in the morning. Pretty embarrassing when they told me my labs came back fine and it was just a panic attack. But ever since then, I have been having a strange anxiety thats just been lingering in my chest and makes it hard to sleep, and I have become obsessed with anything health problem related. Due to this, I have had three more panic attacks after that instance because I think I’m just going to die all the time. Has anyone felt similar? what are good ways to cope?

I am on Lexapro and going to therapy. I try to do nightly meditation but it’s so difficult because I get fixated on the fact I can feel my lungs inflate/deflate and perfectly imagine them doing so, or I fixate on how I can feel my heart beat throughout my whole body and imagine all the blood it’s pumping, etc.

I posted on here recently talking about my general anxiety/fears but the physical symptoms are so tiring… it’s been so hard getting to bed because every time I try, I get the same dropping feeling that you would on a roller coaster but in my chest. I don’t know. I can’t even nap properly either without having that feeling. Does anyone else get this?

Hi everyone, I am suffering from some pretty bad health anxiety. Since as long as I (F19) can remember I have always feared death. I never could stop thinking about how death can randomly occur, contributing to the anxiety I have currently. But, as of this past year or so, these thoughts have heavily increased and I start to convince myself that I have terminal illnesses unbeknownst to me or every headache/soreness/weird feeling was a symptom of some sort of illness that could contribute to my death, and then I would get heavily obsessive the ENTIRE day over feeling every inch of my body for weird lumps or something of the sort. If not that, I would convince myself that i’ll die in my sleep if I went to bed, which keeps me up late at night and I end up falling asleep out of pure exhaustion most times. Even some days I won’t be thinking about death but the deep, heavy chest anxiety feeling I get still occurs when I know i’m wanting to go to bed or if i’m tired in general. The weird thing that is sort of messing around with my head is that there’ll be days where I feel fine, and I go to sleep fine, then I end up convincing myself it’s all in my head and I’ve been lying to my therapist for who knows how long. It’s become a cycle and it’s tiring. I also get horrified at the thought that I might be manifesting my death because i’m thinking about it so so so often. But, lately, I’ve been overthinking some “symptoms” I have been having over the past few months. I get night sweats (but I think i’ve always been a little sweaty when I sleep) and i’ve been fatigued. I’m so scared that I have cancer, my health record has been clean all my life but that’s what scares me, what if just because I think i’m fine due to my clean health slate I turn a blind eye and I end up having something terminal? Does anyone experience similar and if so, how do you manage?

Hi everyone. I’m writing this just to see if anyone knew what this kind of falls into or experiences the same. Since as long as I can remember (i’m f19) I have always feared death. I never could stop thinking about how death can randomly occur at any time, place, etc. contributing to the anxiety I have currently. But, as of this past year or so, these thoughts have heavily increased and I start to convince myself that I have terminal illnesses unbeknownst to me or every headache/soreness/weird feeling was a symptom of some sort of illness that could contribute to my death, and then I would get heavily obsessive the ENTIRE day over feeling every inch of my body for weird lumps or something of the sort. If not that, I would convince myself that i’ll die in my sleep if I went to bed, which keeps me up late at night and I end up falling asleep out of pure exhaustion most times. Even some days I won’t be thinking about death but the deep, heavy chest anxiety feeling I get still occurs when I know i’m wanting to go to bed or if i’m tired in general, which sends me into a panic. The weird thing that is sort of messing around with my head is that there’ll be days where I feel fine, and I go to sleep fine, then I end up convincing myself it’s all in my head and I’ve been lying to my therapist for who knows how long. It’s become a cycle and it’s tiring. I also get horrified at the thought that I might be manifesting my death because i’m thinking about it so so so often. If anyone experiences or has experienced similar, how could I distract myself from this? Would meds be the only fix?