u/imma_ask_questions12

So I (19m) have been dating my girlfriend (19f) for about a year and a half. It’s been rocky at times for sure. About five months into our relationship we actually broke up because we were arguing a lot. It was never really anything big and of course it was all of the small things like aggravated about something we said or something we did. We got back together about a month after that and things got really better. We were happy and healthy. We worked and we grew. We’ve been through multiple jobs and gotten licenses and cars. She’s always been there for me no matter what and always stood by my side.

This all started (at least as far back as I could recognize) when she went on a trip with her friend to Florida within our first week of our new apartment. This friend cussed me out when we broke up and overstepped into our relationship, my girlfriend and her have said negative things about me together before we broke up. She reassures me that it doesn’t happy but you can understand how I might feel about my girlfriend hanging out with someone who’s single and can’t maintain a relationship giving advice like “break up” or “they just can’t meet your standards”.

So they go to Florida and I feel absolutely crappy for a week and a half, we just move in, I’m paying the deposit and bills with my savings because we didn’t save anything before we moved in. To be fair, she offered to help pay some of the bills, but knowing she had $200 for the trip and had to make that last for a week and a half, I couldn’t bring myself to ask for that money.

Well, we had ultimately argued most of that trip about the way that we felt, I was upset that she left in such an important time in our life. She was mad that I told her I felt abandoned and that she didn’t get to have fun on the trip because we were arguing most of the time. I feel like I was in the right. She feels like she was in the right. Maybe we are young and stupid but I think it’s kind of messed up to leave and go out of town using the rest of our money, the second we both moved out our parents house.

Fast-forward about a month and we went on vacation with my grandparents to Myrtle Beach. My mom was cat sitting and on the last day that we were in Myrtle Beach she took a little “photo shoot” in our apartment. I told my girlfriend that I thought it was just silly pictures but my girlfriend was pissed that my mom had gone into our bedroom. Maybe I didn’t see a huge deal out of it because my mom had been kind enough to come over before and after work to take care of our kitten. Well, my girlfriend had texted my mom this really long message about how she feels like it was extremely violating and essentially setting a boundary. My girlfriend was very mad at me the one who messaged my mom. I understand that it should’ve been me talking to my mom instead of my girlfriend and that even if I didn’t understand where my girlfriend came from that I should’ve still been more on her side.

About a day or two after that message, my mom pretty much texted me and told me to never have kids with my girlfriend because then my mom would never get to see them. A little backstory on that is that I moved in with my girlfriend and her parents about two months before we moved into our apartment and my mom thinks my girlfriend “stole me away” and “kept me from seeing my mom”. I can say my girlfriend has done more for me than my mom in the last 5 years, hands down. My mom hasn’t been thankful for one thing at all.

Back to it, she said that my girlfriend would always bring them to her parents and would never bring my mom‘s grandkids to my mom. I don’t see how my mom sitting there talking bad about the woman I love would help to verify that her grandkids would see her regularly?

How do you all think we could work through this? How can I get better? Remain more calm? Focus more on us and less on me?

For background, I have a 2016 Ford Focus SE 2.0 with the DCT. Nothing fancy about it, but I'm just looking to see what you all have done!