u/immature_blueberry

My narc partner has just met his grown up child about six weeks ago. And he has placed them on a pedestal. He is going to pay for this child to lear to drive and buy them a car. Amazing, that is the least he can do after over 20 years. He is going to buy this child a house (financially this is not a problem for him). Again, not a problem.

The issue is, this child is in temporary accommodation near us, and has been here for over two years (but has recently just reached out to my partner as they are on the verge of being evicted) but where they live now is away from all their friends and family and support network. They have been looking at renting homes close to where all their family is (a good hour or two away from where we live). Last night my partner was talking about only buying the child a house near our house. I challenged it as this is not where the child wants to live and said he should help the child but listen to what they want. I got told I was jealous and trying to come between them and now I am being stonewalled. I can deal with this. My problem is the control he is trying to put on this child and the fixation he seems to have. I have NEVER seen this in him. I got such a weird ball of anxiety in the pit of my stomach when he was talking about it. I can not explain it.

If the child is in regular communication with him, he is happy, but will talk about nothing (and I mean absolutely nothing) but the child. If the child isn’t giving him what he wants then he is an absolute ball of pent up anger and frustration that is directed at me.

I have never met this child, he doesn’t seem to want me anywhere near them. I am concerned he is going to start controlling them as the child is in a really vulnerable position in life and it seems like he is hell bent on keeping this child as far away from their support system as possible.

I do not know what to do?! How do I proceed? Do I do nothing?

Overheard a kid and her dad on the plane

Just met grown up child