u/imnotcreative123123

i’m type 1 diabetic and flying from london to cologne tomorrow with ryanair. i have a small crossbody bag i always fill with snacks, my blood testing kit, injections, and sweets but i keep seeing people saying ryanair has got way stricter recently and i’m nervous they won’t let me take it with me (separately to my hand luggage allowance)

does anyone have any advice for what i should do if they say i have to pay or something? (i know you’re allowed extra baggage for medical supplies but i always get nervous i won’t be firm enough, or know enough about the rules to stand my ground)

i have always wanted top surgery. since the moment my chest started growing i’ve been ashamed and embarrassed by it. i knew it wasn’t meant for me, even before i knew i was trans

my partner has always respected this. they never asked me to take my top off (even when i was a “cis woman”) and has never touched my chest

but recently i’ve opened up about wanting them to take my top off during sex. it’s something that’s stupidly been making me insecure because i’ve recovered from an eating disorder and when they don’t take my top off, i get worried it’s cause they think my body’s disgusting (i know this isn’t true, and i know it’s out of respect that they don’t take my top off, but there’s a part of me that gets worried)

my partner can’t understand that i would want my top off if im a trans guy. they respect what i want and have said they never wanted to make me feel insecure, but they don’t understand it if i hate my chest so much

but the truth is, ive surrounded myself with transness and trans media for most of my life, so boobs don’t really trigger “woman” to me anymore. i think my chest is ugly and i hate it, and i know it triggers “woman” to other people. but personally, it doesn’t affect me like that. i’m dysphoric but more so from other people’s perspectives

i want my partner to touch my chest and not stress about it. i want to be treated like a cis gay guy, who has his pecs held, and who maybe sometimes gets called girly, and is a bit of a femboy who’s not afraid of getting treated a bit girly

idk if this makes any sense, i just feel like i don’t have a relationship with my chest like most other trans mascs and i want so badly to be treated like any other guy would be. i don’t want anyone to be afraid of doing or saying something feminine to me just cause im trans

i’m actually getting quite frustrated.

i’m 11 months on T and had a pretty big libido increase at like 4 months which went away pretty quickly. i’m back to my baseline of very rarely being physically in the mood, except now my brain is like constantly horny.

i think about sex all the time, and i spend like every free moment i have scrolling on porn subs. but my body isn’t horny at all, like barely ever.

it’s so frustrating cause i keep engaging in sex or masturbation but it’s not even like i’m enjoying it cause i don’t really want to be doing it, it’s just a way to satisfy my brain.

i kinda feel like i’m a slave to my brain at this point.

i know the answer is “just stop masturbating if you’re not in the mood” but it’s not that i’m not in the mood it’s just the my body isn’t so it’s not feeling particularly good and it’s kinda causing dysphoria, but mentally i’m so horny i feel like i can’t Not.

and the problem is, i know that if i had a dick i’d be physically in the mood so much more often cause it wouldn’t cause me so much dysphoria (lack of dick is my main source of dysphoria at the moment)

i don’t really know what i’m saying or asking, but has anyone else got any similar experience?

i hate feeling like i’m kinda crazy at the moment, and i hate the dysphoria it’s causing but idk how to stop it

I’m trying to reference a chapter from a 1996 book, but the chapter is a transcript of a 1989 speech (which was not published) - this assessment allows for grey literature so this is definitely an acceptable thing to reference just FYI

Currently i’ve combined referencing a book chapter and a speech transcript, so I’ve put:

“Ross, M. (1996). Silent scream [Speech transcript]. In J. Read, % J. Reynolds (Eds.), Speaking our Minds: An Anthology (pp. 31-33). The Open University. (Original speech 1986)”

Is this correct?

On the APA website it says for a speech it should say “(Original work published 1986)” but there is not original work published, so I’ve put it as “original speech” but I’m not sure if that’s what I’m supposed to do or not

i don’t smoke often cause it gives me a horrible pressure in the back of my throat and i have to keep burping to get try and rid of it (it never works)

if ive smoked “too much” (which is basically more than 4 measly puffs) it’ll make me throw up for 2-5 hours

i do quite enjoy the feeling (before the nausea starts)

is there any way to stop this? or is my chemistry just not made me smoking weed?

1g in 300ml water (+ some honey and lemon)

gonna let it steep for 15 mins

will report back on the flavour and whether it calms my anxiety at all