u/indembunnz

I will start with I am absolutely exhausted still.

But yesterday we started with going to Casey's, our local gas station for brunch. Came back home then later went out again.

I went to several places! Repurposed craft store, card shop, BBQ place (ordered take out but I went inside), my mom's friend's kitchen shop right next door, then sat at gas station, and lastly McDonald's drive thru to get dad some food.. That was my least fav cause we were stuck in the drive thru for like 20 mins 😪

All in all, I had a great golden birthday, and I'm thankful my husband is so supportive! I don't drive anymore, and cars are the reason for my agoraphobia.

I had some anxiety cause it was the first time taking the main road instead of back roads, though nothing I couldn't handle!

Making memories again is such a wondful feeling 🖤

I have been homebound for nearly 2.5 years. Well technically now I'm just mostly homebound.

When everything first happened, I was bed bound. Even going to the attached bathroom gave me panic attacks so I had to deal with that multiple times a day. I would bawl my eyes out and I felt absolutely trapped in the apartment but knew I couldn't go out.

I worked my way up to getting to the couch. Then to the kitchen (open concept but I couldn't do it for awhile). When I was comfortable everywhere inside, I started my outside journey. Thankfully we're on the bottom floor of our apartment. I started with simply just opening the sliding door. Then stepped outside, sat outside, walked a couple feet. Etc. Slowly but surely, I did a little more every time I opened that door. I still remember the feeling I got when I made it to the sidewalk for the first time.. I was so so happy!

Fast forward to now. With all of the exposure therapy I have done (thanks to myself and my husband), I can go to the nearest gas station with zero anxiety. I can't leave my town but I CAN go to multiple places. I have been to a repurposed art store twice (I could be in there forever honestly), a card shop near by, a coffee shop three times and found out my moms friend has a kitchen shop right by and went in there for about 30 mins, a subway as that was the only food close, and I even went to a grocery store! I did that one the minute they opened right after getting coffee. Only one other customer was there and I was able to be in there for about 30 mins with no panic, and little anxiety.

I may not be where I once was in life, but I'm so so much better than I was.

Things can and do ABSOLUTELY get better. I went out three times in one week and I have never been so exhausted but proud of myself since becoming homebound other than forcing the dmv a few days before my ID was set to fully expire last year if anyone remembers that post at all.

My birthday is this Friday, and I have no plans but I do know I want to go SOMEWHERE. It doesn't matter where, I just want to get out of the house. 2 years ago I never ever would've thought I'd actually be able to do it.

You may still have anxiety, panic attacks, or even have set backs.. But everything, every tiny change to routine is a step forward and helps you get to where you want to be in your journey. None of you are alone in this, agoraphobia is the number one phobia. You, me, all of us? We got this.

I want two skins but the one I want the most is NEVER in my shop. The other is but isnt priority. The want I want was there one day where it accidentally gave me 8 instead of the usual 4, put money on the account then it was gone. Been checking every single day since and haven't seen the skin. It's been a month and a half 🙃 I get the whole fomo situation they're trying, but at least give me skins for characters I actually play!

They're adding more and more characters, yet keep only giving 4 skins per day with no other options to just choose one unless it's basic.

Please tell me I'm not alone in this frustration 😪

3 weeks ago I posted that I had made it to the mail box. Well yesterday, I made it to the dog park!

Our dog has been restless and barking more than usual due to a neighbor getting a dog that barks at absolutely everything. So my husband "stole" our other neighbors dog (we're friends and had permission I promise) to have a play date in the dog park at our apartments. It is on the opposite side and I had a major panic attack last time I went there making it so I avoided it for the last two years (including the mailbox and hallway).

Anyway, my husband sent me a text saying they needed water and our friends were tied up with their baby so I guess when the pups were in need of me, I was fully able to get there with no problem and even sat there petting them for a bit!

I hope I can go there more often instead of just walking around the pond so our dog can get off leash exercise with me again! She gets it with her dad but I've been feeling terrible that I couldn't give her the same

Hopefully I used the right flair. So I want to try icelandic bind off for the first time! My issue is, I know it's done pretty much only using everything knit wise. My first 3 and last 3 stitches are all purl stitches, the rest is 1x1 rib. I tried searching YouTube, Google and Reddit for an answer - but how I would I go about actually starting the bind off with the first stitch being a purl? Everywhere says knit the first stitch, so do I just knit it from the back leg or will that mess it up?

I am only binding off half of the project as I decided to add ribbing on the back when the pattern doesn't call for it but maybe I was a big too eager lol

Please note I am a beginner and am quite sensitive so please be nice even if this sounds like a stupid question.

Thank you!

I posted on fb but forgot to on here.

After 2 years, I made it to the mail box! We are in an apartment and the mail box is on the complete opposite side of the building. 2 years ago I had a horrednous panic attack on the way to the dog park over on the same side and it got even worse in the hallway on the way back so I avoided it completely (also means no dog park, just walking the dog on this side unless husband takes her out).

I was super excited for a print I got from someone on Instagram, needed to take the dog out anyway and my husband jokingly asked if I was going to check the mail. Being me, I said absolutely not ESPECIALLY not alone. Well it was about 2am and nobody was around (I do best at night) so I said you know what I'm going to try.

I just kept repeating to myself "you can do this, you got this" over and over under my breath. It had been so long I forgot which key it was, but finally got it and my print was in there!

I collapsed on the floor out of breath as soon as I got in the door and laid there for about 5 mins before going to the couch.

Small wins are still absolutely wins 🖤 thank you for reading