u/inevitable_possum

I (24F) have always been really really bad at trying new things. I don’t like looking like an idiot and I feel like trying new things and not immediately being able to pick up the skill makes me look like an idiot.

One example is as a kid and now I was extremely uncoordinated and unathletic so I valued school over everything. Now that I am out of school I have a couple creative outlets and I much prefer to work on those because I can be private about it. If I mess up a drawing I just throw it away and pretend it never happened. However my boyfriend of six months is more athletic and wants me to learn to ski this year. He’s offered to pay for a lesson for me while he goes off with his friends on the harder routes. I care about my bf and his interests but inside I am positively screaming with the urge to never agree to go because I will look like an idiot in front of him given that he has been doing this all his life and I haven’t gone once. I actually think I will start crying if I fall in front of him and then he will realize I am actually a loser and laugh at me.

I feel like I know this isn’t healthy but I cannot break the cycle of thinking that if I try something and am bad at it it means I’m an idiot, loser, etc. So it makes me very carefully curate my “image” but also as you can see makes me feel like I can’t even try things out of my comfort zone either.

How do I break this in a way that also doesn’t break me mentally? I cried writing this post because I want to feel like a person who’s allowed to not be good at things and still have value but I feel like if I fail at anything in anyway or am not good right away that I need to quit and never let anyone see me like that ever again.

Hi. My boyfriend does rock climbing and I want to get into it too. But it’s probably not wise for him to be the one to teach me because I know that can be hard.

Where do you recommend for beginner adults (like literally never stepped foot in a climbing gym) to go for classes in town?

Preferably somewhere nonjudgmental (if possible?) as I’m pretty clumsy and clueless. Thanks!

I’m 26F and I cannot stop complaining. Mostly this affects my workplace. Everyone there seems very lackadaisical compared to me but lately I’ve been trying to treat it like what it is, which is just a job. Unfortunately I’m in healthcare so I feel like it *is* important.

I never let my anger with my job come through when I’m with patients. I’m really good at locking in for those interactions. But for some reason I absolutely cannot apply the same principles to when I’m talking to coworkers. I got a little snappy with my manager today because I can’t take it anymore and I’m worried about myself because my boss has told me I need to be more positive in the workplace. I try but it feels so incredibly fake that that in itself pisses me off too.

I’m seriously caught in a cycle of something pissing me off > I try to not say anything about it because it will be construed as complaining > the anger festers for hours > I can’t take it anymore and rant for a few minutes > I feel bad about complaining again and ruminate on which coworker is going to report my complaining to my boss this time > I get pissed off that I’m not allowed to voice any discomfort at my job otherwise I get in trouble. The cycle continues.

I realize I sound like a baby. But I kind of feel like a baby. The worst part is that I’m conscious of these feelings while they’re happening but it’s like I can’t stop them. What the hell do I do?? I know the answer is shut up for the time being. The problem is that isn’t good enough for my boss either, being quiet is a sin to them too.

I know the second solution is look for another job. I’m looking for another job but I’m being paid relatively well at this one (literally the only silver lining) and I’m struggling to find another job that will pay me the same. I’m definitely in between a rock and a hard place at this point.

I’ve tried journaling but it’s more of an issue to hold onto those feelings for 10+ hours in order to get to a safe place at home and write it all down.

What is the in-the-moment solution to this?? Walking away? I just don’t know and need advice.

26F here with increasing frustration and anger. I’ve been to three dentists in these three years. So I don’t think anyone is conning me. I don’t smoke EVER and I drink maybe one drink on the weekend.

Four years ago in college I had a flare up of mild gingivitis but I didn’t want it to get any worse. My dentist at the time, who I will call Dentist A, recommended I put listerine mouthwash in a water pik and use that daily. So I did, for a year. When I came back from college, I started going to Dentist B in my hometown.

Dentist B discovered TEN CAVITIES I had somehow amassed in a YEAR. Dentist A never mentioned these cavities. I even went back to Dentist A and demanded my X Rays from the year prior and they were completely fine. Dentist B filled all my cavities— they were all IN BETWEEN my teeth, tiny little ones in between where you would floss. Where I was using the water pik filled with listerine...

I was reasonably horrified. I began taking flossing very seriously. I have always brushed my teeth twice a day but then began flossing at least once a day as well.

Now, I have moved again, and am seeing Dentist C. In my FIRST visit with him he discovered I need three crowns and SIX MORE FILLINGS!!! The crowns were obviously pretty bad— on teeth that already had cavity fillings nonetheless— but the six more fillings once again are tiny little ones between my teeth! I had no pain! AND Dentist C said that clinically, he wouldn’t have been able to tell I had ANY of these if he hadn’t taken the X Ray. My teeth visually look fine but in the between places my mouth is falling apart!!

Now I’m on prescription toothpaste, closys mouthwash. And just paid a thousand dollars for trays I can put both gingivitis and fluoride treatment in at home!

What else can I do?! The only thing I can think of is that I’m a type one diabetic. Being that, I don’t have a *lot* of sugar but when my blood sugar is low I drink juice.

I’ve never heard of someone having so many problems in such quick succession! I had perfect teeth until 2022! Is there some kind of deficiency or something else I could have causing this? Did the listerine in the water pik cause this? I’d attach pictures of my mouth but it wouldn’t matter, visually not a thing is wrong with me and nothing hurts! Help! It’s a horrible feeling to not know how to stop this!