Vent Warning-Tired and triggered by being the medical fraternity spokesperson for all family members to bash on
I am a first generation doctor,a practising ophthalmologist now,
For context,i have always been a person who had difficulty saying no,more on the talkative side,always chosen to voice out my argument than keep quiet and conserve my energy(ultimate mistake to rectify)
From my UG times it was classic for people in the family,near and distant, to just come to me asking for help,often sit and ask questions where they arent curious,they were just checking my knowledge(Who the fuck does that?)
Off late,this has been very triggering
Firsty-relatives call me only for their medical need,rarely calling to just talk or exchange news like they do with others.I go above and beyond,some dont even follow up and let me know that they arent taking the helo that i networked and got for them.
My own father keeps asking me to help this person that person,etc
Yesterday,my parents called me,they had a curiosity on what was going on with one relative,the topic was over,they cut the call(no,i didnt explain,i said something in layman which translates to correlate clinically,need more info)
Secondly-
From my first year,i am a sounding board for all these people to vent their bad experiences with doctors about,
(How can i know why a doctor went with a certain plan?am i a detective?)
And after their narration, they ask me,how dare they,why did they,they should/shouldnt have done so and so(like it is my child who did all this deed,that intensity of emotions)
And they pull up some random relative's illness and ask me to explain,or they make their for/against debates with me.
I would be okay if the intellect/knowledgebase they had made sense for me to talk about that topic,then it is friendly banter,
For eg-my MIL just said the other day ,preg ladies these days are made to do monthly usgs,in our times,we delivered without even one usg,same breath she said,doc asked to abort an anomalous foetus to one if her cousins,she kept it and now takes care of a mentally and physically challenged human being.
How do u continue or respond to this conversation?
I feel mentally drained,
It is my redflag,labelling conversations as altrustic where in reality i just end up being combative and dogmatic amd tire myself out with no helpful information reaching the person opposite.
I think,this doctors day,i am taking a resolution to engage lesser and lesser