u/iotnbo_loop

I wanted to play in the levels without the time or enemies, just to do play around is there one ?

So I (F18) live with my mother (59) and my two older sisters (23 and 26).

My eldest sister lives alone in another town for her studies but comes home for vacations and my other sister lives at home, the thing is, they always talk in each others' back. And sometimes it's really valid sometimes it isn't ect, and I can't stand that anymore. Context, I spent six weeks in a clinic for my mental health issues and since I turned 18 I was in the adult section, and it made me grow up A LOT, we some sort of classes about living alone, what to have to be able to work with our difficulties ect and it was a life in community but also by yourself so when I got home nothing really changed, expect the talking.

I feel like they're always at each other's throat and complaining "you would think she would've asked me, nooo of course not!" "I can't stand it that she always thinks I can lend her money anytime" ect ect and since I became more mature, I noticed that it was a big issue for my well being, not that I never noticed but I didn't think it was THAT bad. And since I changed as a person, I feel like they use me as a therapist.

But anyway, my mom and eldest sister were away and my second sister worked and didn't get home at night often , so for a week and a half it was only me caring for the cat, just living by myself, and it was great !!! I loved it, I got to live at my own pace, no critics, no "I can't stand her anymore" and god I felt so free. And when my mom came home she was like "aren't you happy to see your old mother haha !" and I was like "yeah..." and don't get me wrong, I LOVE my family more than anything but ever since they got back, I haven't felt as comfortable as I was, and so, now that I legally can, I thought of living alone and the more I think about it, the more I find it great. I know living alone comes with a lot of problems, but i'm conscious of them, but the thing is I will start working but my pay won't be enough to cover living expenses and I can't ask for help since my sister is already getting all the help for her appartement.

But this thought hasn't left my mind since and how peaceful it was, I had some hard moments, but no more than when I wasn't alone, in fact it was even better, so I really want to talk about it with my mom, not to make it happen but because I feel like I should talk to her about it but I feel like shit about it because she already think our family is falling apart and I have no one to talk about it (in these times I wished I had a therapist again). And I know it's not gonna happen, I just want to explain it to her so maybe things can get better idk.

So yeah, AITA for wanting to live alone ?

So I switch DAWs one week ago and it feels really difficult, when in bandlab I could get any synth and make midi easily, I struggle to do the same on reaper, I feel like there's a lots of thing I can do with the plugins but I don't really understand what I'm doing most of the time.

I want to be able to make deeper music, mess with the tempo or time signature, (I saw people doing that on fl studio, idk if that's possible on reaper tho) and just having fun instead of feeling like i' m solving a maze

I've been searching for it but I keep landing on to Each Her Own 2018 so if someone knows where I can watch it I gladly take it 🙏