I'm not sure why I'm posting this; I guess it's a rant/vent.
It's just hard to see my mom, this (formerly) brilliant, amazing woman, reduced to doing things that would be cute in a 3 year-old.
But in your mom...
What the hell do you do?
I guess I'm glad I had three months off before this happened again.
I'm a Catholic survivor.
I/We were KNOWINGLY sexually sacrificed.
By that I mean that, when I was a child, I was raped by a Priest named Fr. LeRoy Valentine, with the knowledge of MANY people at my parish, including then Father and now Cardinal Timothy Dolan.
And worse.
My principal told me that she allowed me/us to be abused, and didn't intervene to stop it -- she saw the problem within DAYS of school starting 1977 -- because "the (Catholic) Church does so much GOOD."
That "good" included the fight against Abortion and the work of Mother Theresa, etc.
I've just come across the idea that Mother Theresa ran/was part of a Cult of Suffering.
I've never heard that term before, but it likely explains how survivors are treated by the church and Catholics.
"Survivors are really kind of LUCKY..."
So there's no need to help them.
Blah blah blah.
I'm curious if others see this parallel and/or if it has been discussed before.
My mom has been off for a month or so and, two weeks ago, now, I had her tested for a UTI.
While there were several things that were abnormal -- her urine wasn't clear or just yellow -- no UTI was found.
So what else could be knocking her off? Is it anything I can do something about?
She's suddenly super sensitive touch pain, and just touch, and she's gotten a lot harder to manage.
She's also sleeping more (during the day; she was wide awake at midnight).
She does have a yeast infection (but it seems to be clearing up), so I don't think that's it.
Is her clock just 12 hours out of whack?
Is this just a downwards lurch?
Or is this the start of it?
(I had Pre-Hospice/PC come see her yesterday, and she's now in their pipeline, starting with monthly visits.)
I have the sofa that my mom with dementia sits on covered with two quilts and a blanket -- quilt over blanket over coverlet -- and I the quilts I got are white so they even gross me, a typical disgusting man, out.
But how often should I wash the quilts?
I also rotate stains from the sitting area to the back. You OK with that, if nothing smells? That I can smell.
These are mostly $50 Ebay quilts, so no heirlooms -- heirlooms are in storage -- but I want to balance being reasonably clean with not being obsessively clean.
I also don't want to destroy these quilts, if possible, because some have sentimental value, now.
I'm working on a one man show and will use half of an oak barrel -- laid on its side -- as a prop.
How do I stabilize the barrel? For long-term use, transport, and storage?
Screw through the metal bands into the wood, to hold everything in place?
(I don't care about gaps or it being sealed or watertight; only I care about it staying barrel-y.)
It seems like it's dried and shrunk a fair bit, so I guess I need to start with re-hydrating it?
I want to use and store it dry, and not have it shrink and fall apart over time.
Suddenly, my mom is SUPER sensitive.
To touch, especially if my hands are cold.
She's almost child-like (which is triggering me because my dad was like this, the day before he died.)
And, no, it's NOT a UTI. I had my mom tested last week.
Is this just normal progression; into a child-like state?
She does have some level of Yeast Infection, so maybe that has her keyed up?
If you look at the best baseball players and their swings, they tend to keep their hands UP.
The best hitters do NOT drop their hands.
They keep their hands UP, in the plane of their shoulders, and then tilt over the plate.
By up, I mean they keep their hands as close to the plane of the shoulders as possible, rather than dropping their hands (down by their belly button or waist or knees).
Basically, assume the spine is the axis of rotation; why would it matter where, vertically, on that axis of rotation, the hands are located?
Unless it's related to the Spinning Figure Skater Effect/Conservation of Angular Momentum where the hitter is able to turn the fastest when they keep their hands up, because that keeps that hands closest to the axis of rotation.
What other models of spinning bodies might be relevant?
P.S. It is relevant that Black Holes have accretion DISKS and not CLOUDS?
After a couple of blow-out accidents, I bit the bullet and bought a European Style Carrying Bag.
IT'S NOT A PURSE!!! 😉
What should I carry in it?
My concept/hope is to have with me at every moment what I need to get me back to the car, where I have a whole kit.
I bought it to carry a pull-up, a pack of wipes, and some tissues, but what else should I have in it?
Some rubber gloves, I guess.
What else?
My mom -- who lives at home with me -- is no longer capable of wiping herself.
And she has likely developed a UTI, so I need help with technique, etc.
(I DO know about the importance of wiping direction with women.)
My mom can't follow directions; now, if I give her wet wipes, she just sticks them down there, as if they are tiny little diapers.
That only does so much good.
My current solution to wiping her down there is to put on a latex glove and go one wet wipe at a time.
I was just wondering if anyone knows of a better way to handle this.
(I have managed to get her to take a few daytime baths, which helps.)
Anyone else have the problem where you try to improve Quality Of Life, with enrichment stuff, but, whenever you try to get them into something -- puzzles, etc. -- they pretty much immediately pack it up due to the Go Homes?
As in in just 5 minutes.
I used to feel guilty, and still do at times, but the Go Homes are TOUGH.
About all she'll do with me is go for walks.
My family thought we had a plan, and paid an Estate Lawyer, but someone -- I guess my dad -- screwed up and didn't move/protect the money when it needed to be done, so I'm 3 years out from being able to get help from Medicaid.
My current plan is to try to muddle through and get to home Hospice.
But what if things get weird? Too much for me to handle alone.
What if my mom gets to the point where I can't sleep?
What do I do? Given that we have to pay out of pocket.
Yes, there are resources, but I'm disabled -- Catholic survivor -- and I could REALLY use that money to live off of, once she's gone.
Are facilities in Mexico an option? In terms of being a place where I could park her for a week or a month while I tried to do work stuff.
My mom is medically fine, aside from Scoliosis.
I've also looked at local group homes which, at least, seem like they can be half the price.
(A few years ago I was thinking this through and thought, worst case, I'd just move my mom and me in with my brother and SIL and we'd share the load but, apparently, neither my brother nor my SIL are down with that plan.)
For the past 10 days or so, I've been having a harder and harder time getting my mom out of bed.
And, now, it's 3:30PM and she refuses to wake up.
She's also been more sleepy when she's out of bed.
And, no, she has not been up at night (TBTG).
And no medication change.
Is this a late Stage 6 or early Stage 7 thing?
It is allergy season -- and it's a rainy, thunderstormy day -- so maybe that's it?
But I want to make sure this isn't something I should tell the doctor about if this is a sign of progression.
I'm having a fairly significant problem with Artist's Block -- I tend to obsess and get lost in the details -- and I have the idea of doing a 48x48 painting of a tree in acrylic with JUST ONE BRUSH.
I love Round 3/0s, but I can get obsessive about details and not get much done.
I'm thinking about a Round 0 -- I can get detailed, but not obsessively detailed -- but I'm curious what others would choose.
I've also considered an Angle Shader.