u/iwasntgonnadothat

hi, im not a regular speed user and after this im definitely staying away. my friend offered me some to buy and i said fuck it. it was wet and fresh and the high lasted like 8 hours, it was pretty good, but the after is fucking KILLING ME. yesterday the whole day i spent in after, my head was killing me, could hardly eat, felt nauseous, and i felt like i was gonna have a heart attack. but the absolute worst part is my jaw. it keeps tensing and jumping left to right, especially when i speak, now its been well over 36 hours since my last line and i DO feel better than before but my jaw still feels so tense and i cant stop wiggling it and biting the inside of my cheek, its driving me crazy. any tips on how to calm this side effect, or to get the speed out of my system more quickly at least? im so annoyed.

hi i deleted reddit but im back because i dont know what to do. i just feel like i have to tell it to release this fear but im scared. when i was a kid, from around age 5 to age 7 my dad would rape me. when we were alone in the house . he would mcuddle me and then start touching me and he got inside me and i couldn’t do anything because i was too small so i was too weak to push im off. and would do other inappropriate stuff to me. i thought i was crazy because i buried this in my head and when i started having sex i remembered it All
and i was still living with him bc im in school and dont have a job. and no one knew anything he did. and i had to bear this fear all the time living with him after i remembered my nightmares got worse and i had flashbacks. and sexs became scary. i after a while told my therapist i was raped as a kid but didnt tell her who it was because she would report it. and eventually my mom found out from my therapist that i was raped, but she didnt know who it was. this was months before and now recently one day my mom came to me and asked me if my dad was my rapist. i was so frightened and i cried because it hurt too much to even say yes but eventually i confirmed it to her. i couldnt lie. turns out the reason she asked if it was specifically him was because apparently she told him about my trauma and how she was really concerned and wanted to know who did that to me and he said: “i have some gaps in my memory, i think i mightve done that” and obviously someone who didnt rape their daughter would never say that. and she freaked out on him. he started denying it but she didnt take it. he started claiming he might have a split personality or something because this is just “not something he could ever do.” but he stopped denying that he raped me and just said that he will stay away. before all of this was in my memory and now it’s confirmed by my dad himself. and now the mask is off. even before this i couldnt stop seeing him as my dad but now he is just a scary predator and it chills me to my core. i dont know how he could do this. hes out of my life now but im afraid every time the knob rattles it might be him. i dont even know how to BEGIN processing this. im so sorry

hi i deleted reddit but im back because i dont know what to do. i just feel like i have to tell it to release this fear but im scared. when i was a kid, from around age 5 to age 7 my dad would rape me. when we were alone in the house . he would mcuddle me and then start touching me and he got inside me and i couldn’t do anything because i was too small so i was too weak to push im off. and would do other inappropriate stuff to me. i thought i was crazy because i buried this in my head and when i started having sex i remembered it All
and i was still living with him bc im in school and dont have a job. and no one knew anything he did. and i had to bear this fear all the time living with him after i remembered my nightmares got worse and i had flashbacks. and sexs became scary. i after a while told my therapist i was raped as a kid but didnt tell her who it was because she would report it. and eventually my mom found out from my therapist that i was raped, but she didnt know who it was. this was months before and now recently one day my mom came to me and asked me if my dad was my rapist. i was so frightened and i cried because it hurt too much to even say yes but eventually i confirmed it to her. i couldnt lie. turns out the reason she asked if it was specifically him was because apparently she told him about my trauma and how she was really concerned and wanted to know who did that to me and he said: “i have some gaps in my memory, i think i mightve done that” and obviously someone who didnt rape their daughter would never say that. and she freaked out on him. he started denying it but she didnt take it. he started claiming he might have a split personality or something because this is just “not something he could ever do.” but he stopped denying that he raped me and just said that he will stay away. before all of this was in my memory and now it’s confirmed by my dad himself. and now the mask is off. even before this i couldnt stop seeing him as my dad but now he is just a scary predator and it chills me to my core. i dont know how he could do this. hes out of my life now but im afraid every time the knob rattles it might be him. i dont even know how to BEGIN processing this. im so sorry