Avoid marriage (a cautionary tale)
Getting a marriage license costs pennies. Getting a divorce almost cost me my life and wrecked me financially.
I was married to what I thought was a good man for 6 years and we had dated for 2 years (so age 22-30). He was incredibly intelligent, kind, caring, funny, and supportive. We traveled all over the world and had tons of fun.
Early on in our marriage I struggled with my mental health and we joined our finances at that point to make things easier (NEVER DO THIS). Over time I became dependent on him financially as he made significantly more money than I did. He told me often if I wanted to stop working entirely (I didn’t, thank God) he would be fine with it.
During the Pandemic the switch flipped completely. He became addicted to drugs and alcohol, often spending $100s of dollars A DAY on drugs. He also became violently abusive. When he finally POINTED A 🔫 AT ME I knew I needed to leave but couldn’t. He controlled all of our money. I had to secretly open a bank account and hide paychecks so I could have money to leave.
Divorce is expensive and arguing with an addict is futile. I finally told him all I wanted was my car and my freedom. He signed the papers.
I used my entire 401k I’d had since I was 23 to relocate across the country and start over at 31. I’m 35 now and finally feel somewhat comfortable financially again.
Marriage was the biggest mistake of my life. If I had known what I know now I would have never done it. I wouldn’t trade the freedom I have now for anything.