u/jayversay

im on day 40 and today i realized that i made no progress. i still act on the urges i have i just dont escalate to the point of relapsing. and that made me realize how capitalistic and contradictory centering “streaks” are. some people wake up and check each day, look at a bunch of videos podcasts and threads about it. and what i think some of us dont realize is you can still be obsessed w sex even if ur not ejaculating. ur still spending that same time wasted on sex but in a different way. nofap pushes freedom from addictions but people rarely talk about how centering nofap can become an addiction in itself. ur sexuality still dictates your mental life. we use these streaks as a currency, in a materialistic way as if we relapse we lose something physically when in actuality you dont “lose” anything. in a way the relapse concept can encourage the behavior it condems, if u relapse and ur like “welp back to zero” that gives people the opportunity to go even deeper into their addiction and then say they wanna start over. and its a never ending loop. i spent 40 days thinking about sex but not performing it. my relationship with this habit didnt change. because i was too focus on the competitive challenge of it. nothing changed. at all actually. because my relationship stayed the same. also we are allowed to be aroused as humans, treating every sexual moment as a danger is only making u fight yourself and you wont win. porn used to occupy ur attention, now recovering from porn occupies your attention. you dont wake up one day celebrating being porn free. you wake up one day and dont think about it at all because its not as important as it used to be. changing your relationship with sex and decentralizing it makes it less important, not fighting it but letting it pass will eventually make it easier to not think about it as much. and im sorry i dont believe not fapping us the ultimate goal for my life personally. my goal should be when is this necessary and when is this unimportant. i do believe porn should be completely cut out tho. but yea i had to come to this realization in order to actually start making progress

anyone else experienced so much of a specific energy that it gives you anxiety? like i dont really feel motivated to do anything but my body feels like it took adderall .to the point where it makes me anxious. maybe im overthinking it tho

i dont think its a flatline because i feel energized great i still get excited in the morning. im just not thinking or interested in it anymore. i dont even have to suppress anything. lowkey scared because apparently the urges come back? or could it be im just out of the habit?