u/jeggletastic

Making this short: I’m taking a summer semester art class and there’s a guy who i really like. However, three problems: I am trans FTM (pre-transition) and I don’t know if he’s aware of that, I don’t know if he’s interested in men, and I can’t tell if he’s into me or not.

I’d like to get to know him more but im too nervous to even hold a regular conversation with him. However, every time we’re in class together I always seem to have his full attention when im talking, and I always catch him staring at me.

Also, probably important, I haven’t dated anyone IRL ever and my last IRL crush was in middle school. I’m 18 now. Help? Help please? Advice?

When i was 10 years old, I met a 16 year old on Roblox. He never gave me his real name but I’ll tell you all his Roblox username: TheRedStar555. This despicable man coerced me into e-sex and sexual roleplays on the site, even after I told him my age. He tried to convince me to run away with him to Texas. He tried to date me and bring me offsite onto Discord. When I found out he had a girlfriend, also 16, guess what? She groomed me too. She also made me do sexual roleplays with her.

Not only was this guy a predator, but a huge racist republican too. In 2020 he tried to get me back, tried to apologize and say it was his family’s abuse that made him groom me. I fucking hate him. I emailed Roblox and reported his account numerous times but to this day he’s still on there and still active. And there’s nothing i can do about it. I feel like i never got justice and he ripped my innocence away from me.

Im 18 now. Sometimes i still feel like a helpless child. Sometimes I yearn to be taken advantage of again just so i can feel the unconditional love. I hate this. I hate him.