Frens, is Hoku Prins of da Hœus an hamsum sunnavagun
Ay use gold pikkil to bisit odda site of 🌈 bridj an meow a lub song at da festibal fo mine lubly wyve Prinsis Miso u/cats-are-lovely
Ay meow: ay wunna hole yu paw
Frens, ay mayself Hoku Prins of da Hœus an hamsum sunnavagun is doon a big flabbergast!!
Yu see in pitcha, mine brofur Nalu is doon a sit in MINE BOCKS!!!
dis big OUTRAYGE! Is mine! Not himz!
But ay no dat we no soo odda cattos
So wut do ay do????
Ay need mine bocks but kant soo Nalu
Pleese lend a halpin paw
Is Hoku, Prins of da Hœus an hamsum sunnavagun
Ay wunna do an inbite upon my lubly wyfe Prinsis Miso u/cats-are-lovely to romantically fall picnic dayte!
Ay mayself ware orange bow tie to fall theme, an ay bring picnic baskit wiff yummy treets, an also salmin sushi acuz ay no is yu fabrit!
Ay also bring big boo kay of roses to yu!
We iz picnic in da bootiful fall nayture an mebbe we can wolk roun da leeves an hold paws!
As yu can see ders harts flyin roun my head acuz ay lub mine wyfe so mush
Prinsis Miso, willz yu go on fall picnic dayte wiff me pleese?
Frens, is Hoku Prins of da Hœus an hamsum sunnavagun
Ay Berry happi, mine Meowmy (=dumdum) gib nee mouse toy! (No soo tuday!)
Has bella so au can here acuz no ay balls
Luk, is so kewl!
Ebbrypaw is inbite mine Hœus fo play wiff new toy
Frens, is Hoku Prins of da Hœus an hamsum sunnavagun an Nalu, Duke of da Hœus an hamsum sunnavagun
Tummarrow Prinsis Miso an Mochi ( u/cats-are-lovely ) IS COMMIN HØME FRUM PRISSIN!
demz dumdum Meowmy did big bandmint fo ‘vakayshin’ an left dem in PRISSIN (hermz say is a lubly cat hõtel but ay no da truff!!!)
We wunna do SURPRISE WILLKOMM HŒME FROM PRISSIN pawty!
Willz yu join?
Derz treets (salmin, eggies, nip juice, an chimkin) an we gunna do playplayplay an rasslin an bockses a bed to sleepies!
We will fly Hoku Airlime roun to do yu a pikkil me up! But pspspsps, is a soorprise!!
PSPSPS: we hab golden pikkil so pawrtal cross da bridge is open!
Frens, hamsum brofurs Hoku Prins of da Hœus an hamsum sunnavagun an Nalu Duke of da Hœus an hamsum sunnavagun doon yu an inbite to royal pawty!!!
Pawty is neggs lite tyme after dark tyme snooze.
Is in ourmz palas in Sea Addle!
Yuz can ware fancy royal outfit, or any outfit, or no outfit.
We iz gunna do big royal dans!!!
Also is fleepovah, lossa room wiff pillo a beds to fleepin!
Ourm hooman (=dumdum) gunna serb us sardeens, an salmin, an chimkin!
Mebbe we is lukky a sky raisin comes in an we do a cash!
ALL FREN WILLKOMM, cattos, doggos, gimme pigs, skwirrils, horsies, birdies, an ebbrybody from OTRB (we hab gold pikkil!)
Post a pitcha of yu in yuz outfit or if yu no ware outfit. We is all hamsum a booty anyway!
Frens, iz Hoku Prins of da Hǒus an hamsum sunnavagün.
This is a COLL FO AKTSHIN to all frens!
Ay is doon da BIGGIST OUTRAYGE!!!
Mine lubly wyve Miso a mine brofur in paw Mochi was SENT TO PRISON!!!!
Demz dumdum Meowmy haz du a bandmint fo vaykayshion an hamz demz done a bring to ‘catto hotel’ WHICH OS PRISIN!!!
Ay iz reddy to fly Hally Koptah to do a reskew!
wud any frens be able to do a halp wiff me an do a reskew to M&M?
u/cats-are-lovely
Frens, we see Smuffi hooman no feel so gud and suntaymes odda hoomans no feel so gud we us hamsum sunnavagun brofurs Hoku and Nalu is gunna be make dem a feel bettah!
If anybody hab hooman no feel gud, let us no an we go do a heel upon dem!
PSPSPSPS: we can’t heel da dumdum, nobbuddy can
Frenz, as yu kan see ay hab berry bog ays a can see eggstra gud!
So ay open new bizznizz:
Iz yu lukin fo sumtin? Mebbe yu hooman got stole by hooman airlime? Mebbe yu kant fine yu pikkil? Mebbe yu wunna fine where yu dumdum hooman hide da churus?
Hire Nalu Pawtective Services! Ay fine EBBRYTING!
Let me no wit yu iz lukin fo, an ay go fine it!
Frens, is Nalu an Hoku, Duke an Prins of da Hœus an hamsum sunnavaguns
We wuz habin a funfunfun day play wiff da spring toy! We did runrunrun and bapbapbap!
BUT DEN evil dish wosher STEAL DA SPRING TOY!!!
here is uz doon an inbest gate. Nalu stikk himz hed unna dish wosher an Hoku doon a sooper wise
We wanna soo dish wosher fo take ourmz spring toy an soo Meowmy (=dumdum) fo allo dish wosher in hǒus
Fren, iz yu a bocks catto??
Ay mayself Hoku Prins of da Hœus an hamsum sunnavagun LUB mine bocks!
Dumdum hooman say is too smol. Herm so dumdum.
Can yu sho me a pitcha of yu in yuz favrit bocks if yu lyke
Dis pitcha me doon a snoozle in mine bocks
Frens, is Nalu Duke of da Hœus an hamsum sunnavagun
Won of mien eggspert-tease is make mineself BERRY long.
Can yuz mayke yuzself long too?
Sho me Yu’s moss long pitch!
dis pitcha me doon a looooong catto stretch doorin snoozle time
Frank yu frens to do mine brofur an moneeelf a res-q! Da protess werld whide, da noos repawt, da res-q misshins, da eggie smugglin, wiffout ourms frens we wudnt hab mayde it!
As yu see in pitcha mine belly full wiff eggie an ay doon a snoozle so tumarrow ay, Nalu Duke of da Hœus an hamsum sunnavagun, can eet mo eggies
Lub yu all!
Frens, mebbe yu saw dat at mayself Hoku Prins of da Höus an hamsum sunnavagun wuz da mine kontrall an nebbah got eggies but all da frens did a big res-q of mineself and mine Meowmy!
Now ay hab mine strengf bakk (ay ate da eggies an da salmin!!) an flowed da airlime to my berry lubly an smort an booty wyfe Prinsis Miso hœuse, so we do hole paws an nose kissies! (u/cats-are-lovely)
Ay’s so happy to see hermz again aftah all dis struggle woof da aliyums!!!
Canz yu see we is LOTTSA in LUB
Frens, is Hoku Prins of da Hǒus an hamsum sunnavagun.
As yu can see in pitcha ay still no hab eggies!!
An da ebil wikkid Portia Kontrawl still in mine hœus!!!
All fud ay get is dis:
- squishy fud fo brekkie
- crunchy fud fo lunch
- squishy fud fo dinner
- churu befo dark tyme
How can a catto lib on dis?
Dis pitcha sho me doon a berry week in mine bocks
Ay Frank yu fo yu suppawt- is wuz keepin me will to lib (an ob corse da lub of mine wyfe Prinsis Miso u/cats-are-lovely)
despite mine terribil condishin, we muss NOT GIB UB DA FITE FO EGGIES!! Fo mineself, but eben biggah, fo ALL CATTOS SUFFRIN NEGLECT an OUTRAYGE #eggiesforHoku #eggiesforallcattos
and der is sooo manee in da cold bocks!
Why? Oh why? We is doon a big staaaarb to deff
Hoku an Nalu; Prins an Duke of da Hœus an hamsum sunnavaguns
Frenz, is Hoku. Ay iz chonk. Ay no need eggies ay need Portia Control
Signed
Hoku
🚨 HUMAN ALERT 🚨
It’s me, Hoku’s Mom (=not at all dumdum by the way)
Yeah yeah hiss at me all you want, but I stole the light box so deal with it.
This is my official statement regarding the scandal known as EggieGate and the #eggiesforhoku social media movement:
The eggies had onions which would have made him sick!! Did you want Hoku to get sick????
Hoku is receiving all his regularly scheduled meals of high quality and well balanced foods. I don’t care what he says, he is NOT starving
With Nalu’s recent refusal to eat, the young prince has benefited from a lot of extra bits and bites and is turning a little, shall we call it, CHONK!
So yes, portion control has been established.
Ok felines; I’m sure that’ll fully settle the debate. I will now turn the light box back to Hoku and Nalu, thanks for listening and for the hisses!
Hoku’s Mom
🚨 END HUMAN ALERT 🚨