u/jenakyle

Some male viewers defend Bear by saying it wasn’t a desire for control and it wasn’t rape, but admitting he made some mistakes throughout “because he’s human.”

If you challenge that, they’ll defend their stance by quoting or linking to clips of the actor who played Bear and the writer having nuanced takes on if Bear is “evil.”

The Bear sympathizers are sympathizing with him because they relate to wanting a girl they can't have.

All the female viewers relate to dealing with a guy who can't have them but still wants them.
We all relate with being on the other end of that in some way—whether it's through unwanted desire, stalking, harassment, assault or rape. Many of us (or someone close to us) understand things like [attempted] date rape, or being raped by a “friend.” Maybe because we were too drunk to consent. Maybe we were even drunk to the point of unconsciousness.

Bear knew that this was not the real Nicki—that she may as well have been drunk and completely unconscious— or even worse conscious but without control of her body—which he knew was likely the case because she became lucid for a moment and screamed and tried to get away from him right before the first time.

Yet he still only wanted to *alter* his wish.

Hmmm I wonder who has a clearer view on whether or not Bear was a villain. The male actor? The male writer? The male audience? Or the *female* audience who not only feared Freaky Nicki, but also feared Bear and feared *for* the real, trapped Nicki.

Our fear was threefold.

I loved this movie, but seeing how differently some men see it is unsettling.