Came out as trans (mtf) to my worship leader at my small-town conservative church.
(Unsure as to what flair here. I'd be happy to fix it)
As the title says, I went to coffee with our worship pastor/leader/minister (whatever the technical title is called), and handed her a letter that was me coming out to her. I've known most of my life, but I was terrified to let anyone in the church know me.
She's the sweetest mid-30s woman you'd ever meet, but I'm very active on the worship team, and my read was losing her as a close friend, but also losing the opportunity to worship along side her on Sundays.
She took the letter home to read it, and we're meeting for coffee/lunch next week to discuss it. We had a great phone call this morning by just asking questions (are you open to discussion?, who else knows?, etc).. It was very productive, I'm grateful now that I gave her that 5 page letter after struggling for so long with doing so. I was terrified to come out to her. I wasn't sure if I'd be exiled from the worship team or the church, or lose her as a friend.
She has a lot of questions (understandably so), and is working to process this information, as she justifiably should. She asked if she could confide in our senior pastor, whom I'm also family friends with, for wisdom and guidance. I told her, "if you trust him, I trust him". This coming Sunday will feel a little weird, but I think this will be a good learning process for everyone.
I'm tempted to share the letter with everyone and just redact names and places. Maybe you're thinking of doing the same thing. If I can give you any piece of advice, hear this. If God is calling you to it, do it. It doesn't matter what the media says, what your church thinks as a congregation, or what your local politics think. If you're reading your Bible and something is tugging on you, listen, pray, then speak.