u/jrywz3

I am a 22M with a 21F. A bit of backstory, she has lied to me about guys in the past and denied the truth etc, and also slandered my name to them saying I have assaulted her sexually which I never have . she eventually said she was sorry and said she doesn’t want to lose me and that she wants to be with me and sent me a birthday card with thoughtful words. She said she didn’t feel loved so I kind of took the blame for it. We stayed together, she was very caring for about 1 months after I found everything out which made me think maybe she is sorry genuinely.
The past week she has been acting cold and distant again, and I obviously notice patterns now but I’m not sure if it’s my gut or my trust issues now. So I asked her if she is talking to other guys, she got very angry at me and defensive, I didn’t want to upset her, she told me she’s just on her period and she wants to be left alone, I’m not sure why she couldn’t just communicate this to me. Her reaction to my question has me thinking twice about things and I’m not sure what it means

Hello everyone. I broke up with my ex girlfriend about a month ago, the whole relationship was toxic enough until I found out she had cheated on me and lied about me assaulting her to the other guy, I didn’t think it got worse with her but it did, apparently she had told him she was going to the hospital to get an abortion, it wasn’t with the guy she was interested in so I’m not sure who had gotten her pregnant at this point, I knew about her appointment however thought it was for another reason. She then found out he actually had a girlfriend, the girlfriend and her spoke, my ex said she is going to ruin his life so she lied about him assaulting her at work and got him fired. She was also talking to another guy at the time from work as well as him.

I eventually told her I know about everything. She denied it all even when I had proof, she told me she knows she didn’t do anything wrong, and told me she’s going to call the police on him for “ assaulting “ her , she later admitted it but brushed everything off and told me she never accused me of harming her and the abortion situation wasn’t true, I didn’t budge and didn’t forgive her and she got very angry at me and told me to go fuck myself that I believe 2 strangers over her. She then decided to blame me for her cheating and she blocked me on everything, then unblocked me. A few days later she had sent me a birthday card explaining how sorry she is and how she messed up and that I’m the only person she wants and that she regrets it and that she will always love me. I rang her to say thank you for the card but I dont want to speak to you anymore , I told her how the situation made me feel and that I’m very hurt , she then decided to tell me I’m boring her by going on about the same thing and that she’s not listening, I got angry and told her I have had enough and don’t want to speak, she then said she’s recording the phone call because I am being abusive, she ended the phone and blocked me again, then has unblocked me again. We haven’t spoke since.

I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety from this as she is unpredictable, I also feel like I am the reason she had cheated, I am trying to better myself but I’m constantly on edge everyday and can’t relax, it’s affecting me daily and just needed to get this off my chest some how

Hello everyone. I broke up with my ex girlfriend about a month ago, the whole relationship was toxic enough until I found out she had cheated on me and lied about me assaulting her to the other guy, I didn’t think it got worse with her but it did, apparently she had told him she was going to the hospital to get an abortion, it wasn’t with the guy she was interested in so I’m not sure who had gotten her pregnant at this point, I knew about her appointment however thought it was for another reason. She then found out he actually had a girlfriend, the girlfriend and her spoke, my ex said she is going to ruin his life so she lied about him assaulting her at work and got him fired. She was also talking to another guy at the time from work as well as him.

I eventually told her I know about everything. She denied it all even when I had proof, she told me she knows she didn’t do anything wrong, and told me she’s going to call the police on him for “ assaulting “ her , she later admitted it but brushed everything off and told me she never accused me of harming her and the abortion situation wasn’t true, I didn’t budge and didn’t forgive her and she got very angry at me and told me to go fuck myself that I believe 2 strangers over her. She then decided to blame me for her cheating and she blocked me on everything, then unblocked me. A few days later she had sent me a birthday card explaining how sorry she is and how she messed up and that I’m the only person she wants and that she regrets it and that she will always love me. I rang her to say thank you for the card but I dont want to speak to you anymore , I told her how the situation made me feel and that I’m very hurt , she then decided to tell me I’m boring her by going on about the same thing and that she’s not listening, I got angry and told her I have had enough and don’t want to speak, she then said she’s recording the phone call because I am being abusive, she ended the phone and blocked me again, then has unblocked me again. We haven’t spoke since.

I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety from this as she is unpredictable, I also feel like I am the reason she had cheated, I am trying to better myself but I’m constantly on edge everyday and can’t relax, it’s affecting me daily and just needed to get this off my chest some how

Hello I am 23M and my ex girlfriend is 21F. We recently broke up , she cheated and lied about multiple things to do with the situation and was denying it , she finally come clean but still twisted the story after somewhat admitting it. When speaking to this guy she had told him she had been sexually assaulted by me when he was asking about her previous relationships, she referred for me as the ex at the time. she had found out he had a girlfriend whilst they were talking to eachother she got him fired from his job, they worked together and she told them he had choked her at work, he got very angry at her as that was his only source of income.

She had rang me a couple of times since the situation on no caller id , I ignored it. My birthday was a few days ago she had sent me a card. She wrote thoughtful words about how she is sorry and regrets anything she had does in the years we was dating and said how I’m the only one she wants etc. at first I ignored it, she then text me saying to ignore the card she forgot to cancel it before we broke up. I made a bad decision and decided to text her back thank you for the card.

She rang me , I was telling her how I felt and she started to get very defensive, saying she doesn’t care, making me look like a fool basically. I expressed my anger and said a few words , nothing towards her or threatening her but basically saying I’m not putting up with this bs any longer, she then decided to tell me she is recording the conversation and to carry on being abusive and then ended the phone call.

I really don’t know what I’m dealing with here, I can’t have any input on how she is making me feel without being labelled as abusive. If I was to ignore and end the phone call she would provoke me ring me back and tell me to not end the phone call on her. Her feelings are so cold or none existent and any sort of affection or love feels performative to benefit her. I have read about types of personality disorders narcissistic, anti social disorder , but I know that can be extreme and don’t think I should be labelling her as anything but the patterns I’m seeing give me anxiety and make me feel very drained.

I am a 22M , my ex is 21F. We was together for 5 years. The whole relationship has been very rocky and toxic, I could never speak up without her flipping things on to me, and interrupt me. Recently I found out she cheated with a guy from work. It went on for 5 months. She didn’t tell me I had to find out and also had proof. I confronted her about it, all she did was deny it over and over, eventually she knew I pulled away so she told me. She still continued to lie when I asked questions. She also lied on my name to the guy saying I assaulted her. She also got him fired, she said he choked her at work, when she found out he actually had a girlfriend.

Things cooled down, she apologised, cried to me and told me she wasn’t thinking properly and that she regrets it. I didn’t brush it off and told her I understand but you knew what you was doing and most importantly was lying. she switched tones, became so cold and rude towards me, told me she doesn’t care and that I keep bringing it up that it’s getting boring, she told me she did it because I wasn’t being a good boyfriend, and she wasn’t waiting round for me to change. A bit of context on this she has broken my trust before by lying about another guy, I forgave her and took the blame of I wasnt a good boyfriend.

The whole situation got turnt around onto me , we wasn’t discussing the cheating and lying but instead of how terrible I am that she said i wasted her time. Hearing this I instantly felt guilty and like a am the reason the relationship failed.

If anyone has been through something like this, why does she apologise then switch her narrative completely and I am left feeling like I have to fix things?