u/juggs-magee

I’ll try to sum this up the best I can.
My son is 7 months old, and I have a 2.5 year old little gal as well. I love them to death, I had really bad PPD with my first, but really haven’t even had the time to be depressed with my second. That being said, something I feel like I haven’t been able to process anything and that makes me angry (like rage) and almost spiteful?
My son was born with a minor kidney condition and has since had surgery to have it fixed. Since the day he was born all he has done is cry, fuss, and literally just not sleep. He’s never content. We spend all day doing different things just to keep him from melting down. He sleep maybe 4-5 hours in total during the day and night (I’m not joking).
The entire family is at its wits end. We fight over who has to go get him. I’ve got hearing loss in the ear where is bassinet is. And my toddler has started doing things to cope with stress (skin picking, self harm like slapping herself, plugging her ears, etc.). Im so sad some days because this is my last baby, and it’s not been anything like I had hoped. I know he’s having a hard time, but we’ve exhausted our resources as far as comfort measures go. As well as things our pediatrician could do for him. He doesn’t like to be held and arches away after about 5 minutes of just loafing there.
Someone else please tell me that this was their experience, and that one day I’ll wake up with a baby that doesn’t seem like he’s always suffering.

Happy Mother’s Day! Today my husband got mad at me for blow drying my hair for 20 minutes while he had to watch one of our kids. So he purposely shit with the door open downstairs (this is a huge fight for us and I’ve asked him to please not do it), and now the whole kitchen and living room smell like hot asshole shit. We also aren’t doing anything for Mother’s Day because he’d rather play disc golf on his phone than take us somewhere. So I got to blow dry my hair, but was punished with shit odor in the entire lower half of our home.
Would this upset you as a partner?

Sorry this is going to be long. But I’ve made a note of things that are currently bothering me in my marriage. This is only 6 of them as the rest are a bit personal. I feel like I’m going crazy.

1: always needs MORE attention. Doesn’t act like other people outside of his realm exist. Expects 100% for you to drop everything you are doing and be engrossed by his actions 24/7. This includes ignoring my needs and the children’s needs to pay attention to him. Literally said “I don’t ask you about your day because I actually care, I do it because that’s what is expected”. Did not get attention at times when he needed it most growing up I suspect, but it’s become an unhealthy expectation from everyone around him.

2. Insults you frequently under the guise of it being a joke. And only refers to it as a joke if you get upset and ask why he would say something he knows is going to hurt you.

3.Does not create healthy habits. Still ignores oral care despite pleas to keep it maintained.

4.Tells you in the beginning how important it is to have an independent partner due to how demanding his job is and how often he’ll be away. Gets upset when you are independent and don’t have a clingy attitude.

5.Does not understand the actual sacrifice of coming to new town and starting over in your 30’s, all while watching your parents wither away without you. Mother has cancer and is starting to give away all her belongings, husband is mad that you weren’t responsive enough to his advances. Does not care about or understand your feelings because he does not have a normal relationship with his parents.

6.Does not appreciate that wife still pays 100% of her bills minus the phone bill (thank you). Wife works two jobs, is pursuing BSN, has two kids at home, two dogs, and maintains a house. Pays for car, insurance, gym membership, student loans, personal care items, things for kids, etc.
Tells me I don’t have to work but weaponizes money if I need help with something that month.