u/jungleasiannn

Just want to vent!! So I met my husband when I was 20 (he was 39) and started dating when I was 21 and married when I was 25. He was my first boyfriend and although I had some sexual fling with other guys when I was 20 (right before I met him), I’ve recently started to think a lot about other men and I don’t know.. I would like to be with other men, just cos I think it’ll boost my self esteem. Growing up I have zero confidence and self esteem because I was abused by my mother and got bullied a lot so I think that’s the reason I married the first man who actually wanted to be with me. I love my husband but I can’t stop thinking about other men?? Since I married him and moved to his city, other men have been complimenting me about my appearance and I am starting to think that I am not that ugly? But I don’t know, I just have a fucked up mentality that men is the only reason a woman like myself (housewife) can feel beautiful?? I know my thoughts are wrong so don’t lecture me on that part. I am just writing to vent and maybe can find someone who could relate to my situation 😭

Tl;dr: love my husband but can’t stop thinking of other men