Kitchens
So in the past year and a half we have had 3 miscarriages- one of identical twin girls, one of a singleton girl, and one unknown gender. These were due to endometriosis which I recently got diagnosed with after 22 years of pain. We have done 6 rounds of IVF out of state. We have also had 4 senior dogs died between 2025 and 2026- 2 from cancer/stroke/GOLPP. So a lot of our free time was spent caring for them (carrying them if they could not walk well, bathing them, vet appointments, making sure they eat or take meds). Those dogs were basically our children. We have had them since 2011 and 2013. So we went through not just the losses of our human babies- but the furry ones as well.
So needless to say we have been through hell recently. Both dealing with major depression (PPD for me) and me dealing with PTSD from the night we lost the twins- was very traumatic/graphic. There was ongoing complications for months from that lose and again from our other daughter we lost. I will not get into further detail.
We have also done 6 IVF and two FET rounds in another state between September 2024 and December 2025. I have also had 2 separate surgeries for fertility purposes.
Prior to this- we were remodeling our house. We currently have a very small kitchen while we work on other things (not size wise, just in terms of counter and storage space). In the midst of our mental health issues our dishwasher broke. Dishes ended up piled up as I did not have the physical capability or mental capacity to do them while healing from everything. My husband works part time (15ish hours at a high paying job) and is also a disabled veteran. So with that and his own grief/depression- he did not clean the kitchen either. Which he had agreed (more so claimed) he was going to do since I was healing and on immunosuppressents each cycle. He had strictly told me he does not want to risk me getting sick cleaning them.
And I know it sounds crazy because its mostly just one room- but the kitchen has been out of hand for over a year. We mostly eat out at this point. He started tackling it during my last pregnancy but just made things worse by leaving dishes in buckets of water and dragging my island out of the kitchen in order to put a table in there to stack dirty dishes on.
I have just went ahead and bought all new kitchen basics. Pots, pans, utensils, etc. I am just throwing everything else away and starting over. We have another FET in a few months and I told him I can't keep living like this and it won't benefit us with our next pregnancy. I want our house back to normal before we try again for a baby. I miss cooking.
Would love advice on managing things going forward if you have organized a small kitchen. And well wishes as I tackle this disaster this week.
Editing to add: my husband gets very distressed at the thought of throwing things away (even if damaged) which is why it took me so long to get to the point where I said I am just doing it- is buying new dishes worth one day at work instead of spending days or weeks cleaning this all individually? He agreed but seemed reluctant and feels very guilty. Any advice on helping him through this is also appreciated.