u/justalostgirlidk

I see many before and after where the person looks pretty much the same but 2 where the person looks completely different. Why does aesthetically benefit some (more rare) and make others look the same , just slightly wider?

is it difference in device, provider etc.? I want drastic changes

I have suffered with BDD for over two years. It was particularly bad last year and I remember nothing more than wanting to look like this famous Russian model who died in 2008. I thought, how could someone who I perceived to be the most beautiful woman who has ever lived, kill herself? (I know this is problematic thinking). My depression has got so bad this year that even if a genie granted me a wish and made me look identical to her, would I be happy?

And the resounding answer is no. I would still hate myself just as much as I do now. Because not only are my issues truly stemming from the inside, they are also manifesting as physical insecurities. I would never be satisfied. What happens in 20 years when I am 30 and look older. I would still start to hate myself for aging. I don't know the answers or the cure, but I guarantee you, if you only focus on your appearance, you will feel very hollow and empty in your life and I don't want to feel like that anymore.

These past two years have been the worst years for my mental health. I got a 34 on my LNAT, got into Oxford, and have failed miserably. I developed severe BDD, believing that I could only be loved if I was pretty and neglected my studies. I don't even recognise myself anymore, all I cared about was shallow and vapid things. I used to have drive and motivation to actually do something with my life, but it's all gone to shit.

My parents are wonderful and supportive parents, both doctors and my sister is an engineer. I feel a tremendous burden to do something with their pressure. I took this year off due to mental health and shaved my head, all my family and extended family judging me though. It's exhausting with the constant questioning of when I will get better, when will I return to myself, and I am not sure how to answer it.

I feel like if I actually studied something I was passionate about (archaelogy) and not law, and was just able to live, without the constant scrutiny of my parents I would do so much better. I want to graduate and then contact my family and extended family again. I don't want to burden them with this. I really don't want to break their hearts by running away and going no contact, but I see no way for me to mature and develop the person I want to be without using them as a crutch. I am so lost and feel like I need to do what is best for me and make it up to them later when my mental health is better and I can actually be a good daughter. WIBTA?

Edit: I would write them a note explaining I was okay and saying how much I loved them, just that I needed to be on my own for awhile and wouldn't be contacting them.

These past two years have been the worst years for my mental health. I got a 34 on my LNAT, got into Oxford, and have failed miserably. I developed severe BDD, believing that I could only be loved if I was pretty and neglected my studies. I don't even recognise myself anymore, all I cared about was shallow and vapid things. I used to have drive and motivation to actually do something with my life, but it's all gone to shit.

My parents are wonderful and supportive parents, both doctors and my sister is an engineer. I feel a tremendous burden to do something with their pressure. I took this year off due to mental health and shaved my head, all my family and extended family judged me though. It's exhausting with the constant questioning of when I will get better, when will I return to myself, and I am not sure how to answer it.

I feel like if I actually studied something I was passionate about (archaelogy) and not law, and was just able to live, without the constant scrutiny of my parents I would do so much better. I want to graduate and then contact my family and extended family again. I don't want to burden them with this. I really don't want to break their hearts by running away and going no contact, but I see no way for me to mature and develop the person I want to be without using them as a crutch. I am so lost and feel like I need to do what is best for me and make it up to them later when my mental health is better and I can actually be a good daughter. WIBTA?

Edit: I would write them a note explaining I was okay and saying how much I loved them, just that I needed to be on my own for awhile and wouldn't be contacting them.