u/justawkwarddd

I have been anxious sitting behind someone on a bike/scooty for a while, but recently it’s gotten much worse and I’m wondering why. I usually prefer riding myself because I feel safer when it's me, but I haven’t been able to ride recently because of physical health.

Now, when I sit behind someone else, I notice every turn, change in speed, movement and how close we are to other vehicles. If the vehicle leans even slightly, my brain immediately starts imagining all the ways we could crash. It scares me so much that I’ve started closing my eyes and covering my ears because I get so overwhelmed.

I’m not asking anyone to diagnose me. I’m just wondering whether this kind of reaction could be related to anxiety, trauma, ADHD, autism, OCD or something else.

For anyone who relates to this kind of intense reaction, even if it shows up in a completely different situation? How do you tell the difference between general anxiety and something more related to one of these?

i was emptying my closet

found a yellow t-shirt

"on fire!" it said

it's our matching t-shirt

we bought together

tears spill down fast

i've worn it a few times only

after that i couldn't

it stayed folded in my closet

like something too fragile to touch

so i left it there

untouched

and then the words on that t-shirt

come alive

i am on fire

your remains are burning me up

and i am kneeling right in the middle of the ruins

holding the ashes of us

I came out to my brother. It just happened, I didn't even plan on it. So there I was internally fighting for my life while he was just roasting me and acting like it was another day for him. I was SO nervous bcz we've gotten really close and I genuinely couldn't imagine losing him over this.

I kept checking his reactions every few minutes afterwards like...are we still good?? meanwhile he was completely chill 💀. Now it's finally hitting me that I actually told him. Like he KNOWS. I don't have to censor myself around him anymore 😭