u/kaijutegu

I picked it up from the library's "New In" shelf on Friday because I do judge a book by its cover and it had a cool image of a dragon and an alligator- and boy was I in for a ride. I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about it, other than it was a hell of a gut punch and an experience that was absolutely worth having. I'm going to talk about it here in ways that give some character insight but no spoilers about what actually happens. (

It's Morgan Thomas's second book, after a short story collection I am going to track down, and it's about a lot of things. It's about queerness and gender and mental health and love and sex and Florida- the ugly parts of Florida, but also the beautiful parts of it- but I think most of all, it's about autism and what autistic joy can look like.

But the thing I liked most about it (well, plot-wise, the thing I actually liked most was how the author did their research and cited literature about my oldest and deepest special interest) was how the main character, Ro, is so, so human.

They're messy, they get sucked into online rabbit holes both real and imagined, they fuck up, they melt down- but they're never infantilized or treated like less of a person. They yearn. They have a rich inner life. They seek joy, and they claim that joy, and only they get to define what is meaningful to them. They're a transfemme, adult-diagnosed autistic person and they never come across as a parody. They come across as heartbreakingly earnest and alive. (I am also not entirely sure what their pronouns are because it's narrated in first person, but the author uses "they" in the blurb so that's what I'm going with.)

At the heart of every character is a core of dignity- even the antagonists, you can see how their worldviews get twisted through the interesection of transphobia and ableism both internal and external. Everyone is a person, and I don't see that as much as I'd like in portrayals of neurodivergence (and there is so much of that in this book! with conflicting access needs!) in the media.

It was a hard read, with a lot of going "oh god why are you making this decision" and recoiling as the negative action of the story unfolds. That's not to say it was badly written or anything, just that the tension felt really real in places, especially because I volunteer with an organization similar to the one Ro works for, and the events of this story encompass one of our worst-case scenarios. The book never flinches, and the story never apologizes for who these people are. It's very honest in that way, and I liked it. I think? I dunno. It hurt! But it was a good hurt!

Also, it uses this incredible plot device of an online serial about dragons (or dragnos) and magicians that is assembled entirely from the text of "Autism as a Disorder of Prediction." From a metatextual perspective, that's cool as hell.

Anyways. Has anyone else read it or wants to read it? What did you think? I know it's very new, but I think it might resonate with folks here.