u/kallaloostx

EDIT: It's not a trauma bond. It's an unhealthy attachment style.

Carol is incapable to truly loving anyone. She has a lot of anger. Yes...i know...her wife died and I'm taking that into consideration.

The vacation that she and Helen had in the ice hotel spoke volumes. Helen was trying to get her to enjoy the moment... enjoy BEING WITH HER. But Carol was all sour and whiny and couldn't even connect with Helen in that moment.

Fast forward to The Joining. When she met with the others who were immune, she couldn't even bond with any of them on any level. Yes, she wanted them to see her point of view, but it was either her way or she was taking he ball and going home.

Think about when Helen and Carol were together. Who else did Carol have in her life? Any friends? What about her fandom? Any true, joyful connection to her fans at the book signing? Helen was her everything. She created a world around Helen. But she needed Helen more than it was actual love. I actually thought Helen was simply the publicist who Carol happened to sleep with.

I'm estimating, but i think it was around 3-4 months after her wife dies that Carol sleeps with Zosia. 3-4 months. It certainly wasn't even a year. This was after seeing other people and having been given an opportunity to actually have a supportive group who may provide comfort for her.

But no. Carol chases away developing non-sexual possible friendships with people like her and chooses a sexual relationship with a creepy "I/we" who eats human flesh, when needed.

Carol is like many people who seek connection with one person who they make their everything. Carol had a dysfunctional attachment to Helen. Helen was likely the only person who could put up with Carol.

Much like Zosia.

If you aren't watching this morning's interview, catch the re-run. He's spilling tea... in a slightly unhinged/mini-meltdownish way😄 I think that if we could have watched interviews with the creators of railroad or early 90s internet companies it would have been the same. We would have been amazed at the craziness.

Watchin Jeremy Grantham excoriate Joe for Joe's saying that he gave a "cursory glance" at Grantham's annual letters in order to form his views. Then Joe had to wait for the producers to feed him other info in his ear to give his counterpoints.

Joe is such a "low IQ" individual. So much brain rot.

Grantham, though, it's totally wrong and uninformed about Bitcoin. Very frustrating.

It's buying season!💖 That's all. That's the message.

This is another vent post. No solutions needed.

The difficult thing about having a manipulative mother to care for is not knowing if something is really wrong. For the past 3 days she's been saying that "they" told her that if she drinks too much water she'll get "dry mouth," so she's refusing to drink any water [which includes what's needed to take her meds).

It's hot and she needs to drink water. She refuses to have me turn on the a/c.

The thing is, she's always made up stories to get attention or to manipulate our family even when i was little. I know understand why my father used to ignore her when i thought that she was really sick and needed attention. I was too young to understand and used to think he was mean.

I keep telling her that one day something will be really wrong and we won't pay her any mind. She keeps calling me every half an hour to find out "what else she can do for her dry mouth." I just stopped going to check on her because she's annoying my nerves.

I've been the primary caregiver for 2.5 years for my toxic, narcissistic completely dependent mother. In the beginning i was angry and would to to cater to her every whim and get angry when i realized i was being sucked into manipulations. I do the caregiving/housekeeping and my sister takes care of the family business and does the cooking.

​

Fast forward 2.5 years, I've made peace with her issues not being a reflection of me yadda yadda yadda. I do take care of myself as much as i can. I get about 4 hours in the afternoon each day where my sister stays with her. I also work 2 days a week to get out of the house.

​

I count my blessings every day because i have it easier than most, but I'm just so mentally and phosphate physically drained every moment of every day. My mother has been such an energy vampire and demands sooooo much mental energy to just deal with her shenanigans.

​

From the moment I go to give her her bath at 8:00 in the morning to the end of the day when I'm getting her ready for bed at 6:00 at night, it's CONSTANT complaining, or her pretending to be nice until she can't do it anymore, or her being angry because I'm a horrible daughter, or her not wanting to eat what my sister has prepared....It's ALWAYS about her.

​

2 nights out of the week, I can get 8 hours off sleep. The others, I'll have to get up during the night because she needs something or she's just intent on making noise or loudly complaining all night for hours that she's not getting the car she needs even though she was such a great mother yadda yadda yadda.

​

Even on the nights i get a good nights sleep, I still not feel rested in any way shape or form. I'm perpetually tired.

​

Two and a half years of being constantly emotionally and physically drained. I'm not looking for any advice, just venting. I'm just drained. I wake up every morning not knowing what version of my mother I'll meet and that alone is enough to wasn't to just stay in bed.

My adult children and my sister (even before she become bedridden) tried to explain how her b***hy behavior made us feel and why people didn't come to visit her. She would just get angry and turn it on us. WE were the ones with the problem.

She's not going to change. I realize that. I'm just so over it all. But... tomorrow's another day.

Thanks for listening.

Greetings to all and thanks for your input about the quality of kola nut if it is frozen. But my main question was lost. So here it is.

Can frozen/refrigerated kola nut be used for divination or other spiritual purposes (i have hand of ifa)? Is anything lost if it is preserved that way?

One response was that it was the oriki that activates it, which makes so much sense.

Greetings!

I would like to order kola nut in bulk for my spirirual practice since it doesn't grow where i am.

Can frozen or refrigerated kola nut be used to cast obi?

If not, what is the best way to store kola nuta used for spiritual practice so they can last for weeks or a month (if that is possible).l?

​

Greetings to all. I would like to hear various points of view for this question that i have.

I received the hand of Ifa virtually via a babalawo in Nigeria following the Isese tradition. Do my ikin have to be fed and spiritually refreshed by the same babalawo or can it be done by another if i can't contact the original babalawo? I was told they had to be fed and refreshed annually. Mo dupe