u/kitty_whipt

My friends are in the middle of a nasty divorce. I met them as a couple and have known them for nearly 20 years. I’m equally close to both of them.

Despite their marital issues, they were 100% committed to spending the rest of their lives together and working through their differences. They had already been together for 35+ years.

This all started when Friend B started to develop feelings for a client of hers. She was very honest and transparent about her budding feelings from the jump. My friends even discussed opening up their marriage, but Friend A was completely against it.

It turned out that Friend B decided to pursue a relationship with her client anyway. None of this was on the down-low. It was all out in the open in front of her wife, while still living together. It was as if Friend B decided to go ahead with the open relationship idea without her wife’s approval.

In the meantime, half of us (friends) have chosen to remain neutral about the situation and continue to be friends with both parties. However, the other half of our friend group has chosen to side with Friend A and has completely written off Friend B for betraying her wife and destroying their marriage.

While I don’t condone cheating and view it as an unforgivable offense, I’ve chosen to remain friends with both of them for now. I’ve been equally supportive of both friends in their times of need, even though I absolutely hate that Friend B did her wife dirty. By being supportive, I mean I’ve stayed out of their business and have mainly been a listener and a shoulder to cry on.

What would you do if you were in my situation? Would you side with one friend over the other or remain friends with both? Keep in mind that this is a 20-year friendship and my friends aren’t just friends, they are also my chosen family. I rarely doubt my moral compass, but this is one of those moments. I’m not looking for validation. I just need some outside perspective.

By the way, I’ve posted this in a couple other subs. I’m feeling extra masochistic today because I know you are a tough crowd. So lay it on me. Judge me later, but try to be nice.

My friends are in the middle of a nasty divorce. I met them as a couple and have known them for nearly 20 years. I’m equally close to both of them.

Despite their marital issues, they were 100% committed to spending the rest of their lives together and working through their differences. They had already been together for 35+ years.

This all started when Friend B started to develop feelings for a client of hers. She was very honest and transparent about her budding feelings from the jump. My friends even discussed opening up their marriage, but Friend A was completely against it.

It turned out that Friend B decided to pursue a relationship with her client anyway. None of this was on the down-low. It was all out in the open in front of her wife, while still living together. It was as if Friend B decided to go ahead with the open relationship idea without her wife’s approval.

In the meantime, half of us (friends) have chosen to remain neutral about the situation and continue to be friends with both parties. However, the other half of our friend group has chosen to side with Friend A and has completely written off Friend B for betraying her wife and destroying their marriage.

While I don’t condone cheating and view it as an unforgivable offense, I’ve chosen to remain friends with both of them for now. I’ve been equally supportive of both friends in their times of need, even though I absolutely hate that Friend B did her wife dirty. By being supportive, I mean I’ve stayed out of their business and have mainly been a listener and a shoulder to cry on.

What would you do if you were in my situation? Would you side with one friend over the other or remain friends with both? I rarely doubt my moral compass, but this is one of those moments. I just need some outside perspective. I’m hoping for some mature, thoughtful comments that give me more food for thought.

My friends (lesbians) are in the middle of a nasty divorce. I met them as a couple and have known them for nearly 20 years. I’m equally close to both of them.

Despite their marital issues, they were 100% committed to spending the rest of their lives together and working through their differences. They had already been together for 35+ years.

This all started when Friend B started to develop feelings for a client of hers. She was very honest and transparent about her budding feelings from the jump. My friends even discussed opening up their marriage, but Friend A was completely against it.

It turned out that Friend B decided to pursue a relationship with her client anyway. None of this was on the down-low. It was all out in the open in front of her wife, while still living together. It was as if Friend B decided to go ahead with the open relationship idea without her wife’s approval.

In the meantime, half of us (friends) have chosen to remain neutral about the situation and continue to be friends with both parties. However, the other half of our friend group has chosen to side with Friend A and has completely written off Friend B for betraying her wife and destroying their marriage.

While I don’t condone cheating and view it as an unforgivable offense, I’ve chosen to remain friends with both of them. I’ve been equally supportive of both friends in their times of need, even though I absolutely hate that Friend B did her wife dirty. I’ve questioned if I’m wrong for remaining friends with her.

What would you do if you were in my situation? Would you side with one friend over the other or remain friends with both? I rarely doubt my moral compass, but this is one of those moments. I just need some outside perspective.