Midwife declined servicing me. Did I dodge a bullet or was I too needy?
I have been interviewing midwives for my upcoming birth. I had an appt scheduled and the midwife ended up no-showing and contacted me about 30mins to let me know she was at a birth and that her assistant was supposed to reach out me. I had just gotten back from a 10 hour drive and rushed to be able to make to this appt. But we ended up rescheduling for the following day. She is the most qualified in my area and the closet distance wise, but something was off. Like she was super nice, but idk I just wasn’t 100% feeling it. But I feel like my option are slim and I would want the safest option. I messaged her today. I had another interview 2 days later; and the she advised me not to go with the other lady. She said she didn’t want to bad mouth anyone, but she strongly recommended me not to go to her due to unsafe practices. And this scared me and I canceled the interview.
See convo on picture attached. Do you think I was wrong for asking. I’m going to be a first time mom and am kinda anxious. I’m an only child and didn’t grow around babies. And I will be doing this pregnancy alone due to my husband being on deployment and I’m in state with our family due to a military move and me staying to finish nursing.
So that being said I want to be sure my midwife is reliable and able to have solid communication in the event something happens and I really need her.
Text Conversation; I didn’t realize I couldn’t post pictures 😅
Me:
Can you please provide your informed consent packet, financial contract, and a timeline/calendar sheet.
⸻
Midwife:
Please send me your email. I will send this over to my office assistant so she can get it done at her earliest convenience. I will tell you she’s currently driving across the country so it might be a couple days.
⸻
Me:
Thank you for the update. I completely understand that births are unpredictable and that attending your clients comes first.
I did want to ask about communication moving forward. As a first-time mom considering a home birth, this is a significant financial investment for me, and reliability and communication are very important. Between the missed appointment and the delay in receiving the information packet, I’ve become a little concerned about what communication and availability typically look like within your practice.
If you are attending a birth or otherwise unavailable, what systems are in place to ensure clients can still reach someone in a timely manner?
Thank you for taking the time to clarify.
❤️
⸻
Midwife:
I apologize for my delayed response. I’ve been tied up in appointments all day related to my trip to Afghanistan and am just now getting a chance to reply.
After giving this a lot of thought, I don’t feel it would be fair to accept you into my practice. As of right now, there’s a possibility I’ll be returning to Afghanistan around your due date.
I truly enjoyed meeting you and appreciate the time we spent together. You deserve a provider who can confidently commit to being present for your birth, and I wish you all the best as you continue your search.