r/homebirth

TW: massive pp hemorrhage

Posting to process 2 very opposite experiences that happened back to back with a community who understands, and hopefully there are some mamas who have had similar experiences. Buckle up this will be long and thank you for reading.

About a week ago I gave birth to baby #2, she was born at home, in the water, with big brother cheering us on and the room was only filled with love and trust and so much joy.

With baby #1 I planned a homebirth but ended up giving birth at the hospital due to non-reassuring heart tones and lack of variability. My same midwives & doula stayed with me and I still had a pretty amazing spontaneous unmedicated vaginal birth with most of my “birth wishes” intact. I did have a partially retained placenta and a pp hemorrhage (1300ml) that didn’t require a transfusion.

This time around we were all very prepared for the likelihood of placenta issues/bleeding recurring and we made plans in case it would. I live 6 mins from the hospital and agreed to do active management (shot of Pit) and knew my midwives would be very conservative about blood loss. I kept my iron levels sky high. We went into it confident that it wouldn’t reoccur but knew it’d be swiftly handled if it did.

At 41+1 around 8pm I saw my mucus plug and bloody show and thought FINALLY. By 9:30pm I was definitely in labor, having contractions I couldn’t ignore that were manageable with breathing. I put on my headphones and TENS unit around 10pm and swayed on the birth ball and did all 4s on the couch singing and dancing along the way. My husband set up the birth tub and my 2 midwives and doula arrived around 11pm, by then my surges were lasting 1 minute coming every 3 minutes.

I was so grateful to not have back labor (with my OP son it was relentless) Every time the intensity ramped up I felt my body release a perfect explosion of hormones to help me cope with the sensations. My lips fluttered and my body vibrated. I felt myself opening and I let myself go with it. I let my voice carry me through.

Around midnight I got into the birth tub and soon after, needed my husband to get in too, so he could do counter pressure hip squeezes during every surge. Between contractions I laughed, drank homemade watermelon hibiscus electrolyte tonic and kept telling my midwives that this was the birth of my dreams.

When I entered transition, I felt the fear wash over me and let it move my baby down til the sensation was at my tailbone. It was so intense I didn’t think I could keep going much longer, but I also knew I would.

My 2.5yo woke up on his own, and joined us with a very cheerful spirit. He was well prepared and knew exactly what this all meant - mama was in labor and his baby sister was coming!

As soon as he joined us I realized transition had come and gone. All of a sudden I felt my body shift into the 2nd stage of labor. A huge contraction ravaged through me and I felt her descend lower and move past my tailbone. There were 5 more surges left until I’d meet my baby and each one pushed me past where I thought I could go.

I had felt the involuntary urge to push with my son, but this was my first time experiencing the Fetal Ejection Reflex. When I was almost crowning I turned to face my husband, wrapped my arms around him with my head on his shoulder and rocked my hips and waited.

As soon as the next surge started I heard “head born” and then I reached down and caught her underwater and brought her to my chest. I looked up and everyone was smiling and I felt so loved and trusted. I looked down and there she was, my dream girl, another rainbow baby🌈, born at 2am - 4.5 hours of labor

Unfortunately, my placenta never came and my bleeding was active and heavy. Meds and manual removal attempts failed. My midwives didn’t mess around and I was in an ambulance within 30 minutes, baby left at home with papa and a freezer of colostrum. Things deteriorated rapidly at the hospital. I ended up losing 4 liters of blood, required a massive blood transfusion, went into hemmoragic shock, and had to go under GA in the OR so my placenta could be removed by D&C. Then I was in the ICU (but stable) and was separated from my baby for 16 hours.

I’m home now and I’m completely fine. It’s almost like it never happened. My recovery has somehow been way easier than my first. It’s so hard to process both of these experiences back to back, and I don’t want to share the 2nd half with anyone because I don’t want it to overshadow the most beautiful experience of my life.

Thanks for reading.

Prefacing that I do NOT regret my homebirth. I still very much support homebirth and would choose homebirth again. Just not with this midwife.

My midwife, who has been in practice for a long time without any negative reviews, really let me down on multiple fronts after I felt we had such a great relationship develop during pregnancy. I replay what happened in the birth and now months postpartum don't think about it as much, but it's still painful. It gave me some really hard nights in the early days. Her errors added up to this. I should not have trusted her. My husband caught our baby.

After the birth, she was wrong again and again on several issues though they didn't have consequences because I had decided to let her do her postpartum visits but ignore her advice. The second to last visit she stank so bad of some fragrance that I had to clean the baby off when she left and wash my couch, and then at the last visit she smelled like she hadn't bathed and had dirt under her nails. I steam cleaned the chair she sat in and didn't let her touch the baby other than a stethoscope over clothes.

I need to process this with someone who is in the field because I need to walk through what happened. I want to write a review but the community in my area feels so insular and protective I don't want to feel more exposed than I already did. I don't know who I can talk to who will have the expertise to say, no, she shouldn't have missed x y z, but is also bound by confidentiality. I can't anonymous post because the salient details are pretty specific.

I just don't know what to do. This is in the US. Any resources or thoughts are appreciated. I want to protect other mothers and process this fully.

I am 41 + 2 today. I’ve been having a lot of prodromal labor for the last 6/7 weeks. I’ve just been so incredibly uncomfortable. I didn’t want a sweep, but I finally caved and got one today.

I got my sweep at noon today at the midwives. Immediately started feeling crampy. Contractions started at 12:50. I figured it was probably more prodromal labor, but they felt a lot more intense so I double checked with my midwives and asked if the sweep can work that quickly. They said yes and monitor for an hour or so. I couldn’t lay down, because I was so uncomfortable. I labored standing for a bit and then moved to the toilet. Around 3 I really wanted the tub, so I asked my midwives to come and they got to my house about 3:40. Labored on the toilet while it was filling, and got in about 4. The water definitely helped, but they were getting more intense. I really had to talk myself into relaxing through them and not tensing up. I felt my water break and after a bit I started pushing from the pressure. I pushed about 3 times, and my baby girl was out at 4:55pm, so about a 4 hour labor. She weighed 8lbs and 2 oz. I didn’t tear at all. My midwife said it “doesn’t even look like you had a baby”. I didn’t tear at my last homebirth either, so I assume the water helps with that.

Obviously it was uncomfortable, but that was pretty much a picture perfect birth for me. I don’t think I could think of a single thing I’d change. Baby girl latched well right away as well, which is completely different from my other two kids.

I’m super thankful 💕

Home Birth & Newborn Jaundice I’m curious to hear from mothers who had a planned home birth. Did your baby develop newborn jaundice after being born at home? If so: How many days old was your baby when you first noticed it? Was it mild jaundice that resolved on its own, or did your baby need phototherapy? Did a midwife check bilirubin levels at home, or did you have to go into hospital? Was your baby exclusively breastfed? Were there any other factors that might have contributed? I’m trying to understand how common jaundice is following home births compared with hospital births, and whether the hospital environment itself has any influence on it. I’d especially love to hear real experiences from mothers who had home births, rather than just statistics.

I'm really curious to hear from women who have given birth in hospital — especially on a maternity ward. Did you experience anything that felt spiritual, supernatural, or difficult to explain during labour, an induction, epidural, C-section, or immediately after giving birth?

Hi everyone,

I’m on the other side with a 4 week old girl (we thought it was a boy especially everyone chiming in that based on the myth/old wives tale of how my belly was shaped).

My partner and I decided that we wanted a home birth. We live outside of the US. We’re in our late 30s, FTparents. When we were interviewing midwives and our birth team, one midwife gave me this sense of calm during our zoom call.
I remember repeatedly exhaling deeply after her answers to many of our questions. If we went with her, it meant moving to a birth Airbnb 4 hours away and waiting for the birth but we’d be near her, her birth team, and preferred hospitals.

My partner wasn’t keen to the idea bc he was familiar with where we lived, concerned with finances and honestly had some fearful resistance.
I understood some of it and also thought the only way I’d be able to have my preferred postpartum doula was birthing where we already were. That was my assumption.

Anyways, I reflect back to that moment and remembered my intuition being so quiet but clear. However, fear explained it away.

My labor and birth turned out to be what one could call traumatic but I guess it was part of my story and something I was meant to experience. (I can share my birth story another time, possibly).
Now in postpartum, I’ve experienced a lot of grief, regret and resentment because there were signs that the doctor we went with missed that the midwife said were telltale signs that she wouldn’t have missed.

FYI I was transferred to the hospital, vaginal birth, unmedicated. Healthy babygirl and I’m on the mend after what felt like my entire body would break in half.

Anyways, I came here to say — Birthing people, Mommas, ladies: trust your intuition. 💕

I seem to have a naturally long gestation (past 42 weeks) and I live in a state where midwives will not deliver babies at home past 42 weeks. I had a horrible hospital induction experience with my first child and then I fudged the dates with my second so I could have a natural home birth (which went very smoothly). I would really like to live in a state where I can give a midwife full disclosure about my due date and she will still be willing and legally able to deliver my baby at home when I inevitably go past 42 weeks. It seems like all the states that “allow” this don’t have express laws legalizing it. It’s all really just a matter of legal loopholes (a midwife will do it because there isn’t a law against it).

Can you all tell me what states have you given birth in past 42 weeks at home with a reputable midwife? I want to see where it’s most common and move to wherever that is so please answer even if someone else has already given the same answer as you have (or upvote their answer).

Thank you everyone!!!

My midwife has recommended black and blue cohosh herbs or castor oil to possibly get labor started.
Google has fairly negative things to say about both.

I’m nearly 42 weeks and not wanting to go beyond that, I’m honestly feeling so defeated every morning I wake up not in labor.

For reference I’ve tried: membrane sweep, acupuncture, chiropractor, prenatal massage, pedicure, red raspberry leaf tea (drink it every day), gentle birth tincture (took this for weeks and ran out), bouncing on the ball, miles circuit, pumping 2-3 times a day, relaxing, walking, baths, etc.

I feel like I’ve pretty much run out of the non invasive things to try.

My first baby was 42+2 induction, second was spontaneous at 36 weeks. I truly cannot believe I’m nearly back at 42 weeks with my third.

I'm 27 weeks today and was told that I have a non cancerous tumor on my placenta. Despite this, baby is doing SO well! She's on the 83rd percentile for weight and they aren't seeing any issues that they would be looking for with this type of "diagnosis" (because they can't actually see the placenta in person only on the US, they can't officially diagnose, mind you I have been told it's 4 different things throughout my pregnancy). With my first pregnancy having to be in hospital (for preterm birth unrelated to my current issue), I was hoping that this time around I would get to do a home birth. I was told today that as things progress even if there are 0 issues and baby continues to do well, I need to deliver at the high risk hospital so baby can be close to the NICU if needed.

I'm just reaching out to see if anyone has experienced this but ended up having their baby at home anyways. Im not looking for advice, just experiences. If a medical team is telling me I should be close to the NICU just in case for baby I'm definitely going to listen to that, whatever is best for baby is what I will do. I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that this baby is perfectly healthy and I can't give birth at home 😭 I just had this dream of just a very chill, warm, relaxing environment and being in my own space. The idea of having to advocate for things that I wouldn't have to in my own home just sucks. I was also hoping that being at home would take away the temptation of an epidural LOL

I'm so conflicted at the moment. This is my second trimester, in my second pregnancy. Our first was a homebirth for many, many reasons. However it was also 3 years ago, I'll be 41 when I deliver this one.

My last birth didn't go badly. I didn't really realize I was in labor until I was really far along as I have a high pain tolerance. My husband annoyed the crap out of me the entire time and wasn't the least but helpful so at a minimum I'm hiring a doula no matter where I deliver. We have also moved states so it would be new midwives. The issues that arise last time were that my daughter got stuck so we had to do some tricks to unstick her and in that process I became severely dehydrated because I couldn't keep anything down. We almost hospital transferred as a result so I could get a saline IV. Literally everything else about the experience was lovely. I wouldn't change it except an IV and a doula.

I also met an OB to to confirm and date the pregnancy and OMG she was horrible. Tried doing a pap smear without even telling me and I'm not due, started generally bossing me around and fear mongering instantly before we even confirmed the pregnancy. The same thing happened last time with OBs and I don't really want to do this even 2 more times to find an OB that isn't pushing everything that's completely unnecessary. Like we had the genetic testing done with #1 and she said we should do it again. Ugh.

Should I try a midwife run birth center? Is it similar? I basically want the availability of saline IV and not being stressed about my house being messy when the midwives arrive.

I’m planning a home birth for my first baby in December. We have 2 kitties who will be just over a year old at the time and I want to think about how we can prepare things for them both for the birth and for the transition to having a baby in the house. We live in an apartment, so there aren’t many places they can go to avoid any noise I might make. They also like to sleep in the bed with us so I’m not sure I trust them not to jump into the co-sleeper bassinet with the baby.

I would love to hear thoughts from people who have done this before. All the advice I can find online is geared to preparing to bring a baby home from hospital.

My second homebirth was a precipitous labor just about 3 hours. This birth was on a whole another level. I was 40w4d with zero signs of labor other than Braxton hicks over the last few months. I was woken up at 3:30 with a contraction. I started timing them with the app and they were coming every 2 minutes lasting about 30-45 seconds. I texted my doula and told her I could not sleep through them. Over the next hour, they went from every 2 minutes to every minute lasting 30 seconds. My doula said it’s not a normal labor pattern and suggested some different exercises to try to space them out. After doing one of the exercises, the contractions got more intense and started coming every 45 seconds. I couldn’t even keep track of them. I told my doula I was feeling a lot of pressure and felt like I needed to push. I was told that the doula is the point person and she would be in touch with my midwife. At this point my husband was attempting to set up the birth pool but I stuck my finger inside and could feel the baby’s head. I told him to turn on the bathtub in the bathroom and got in. As soon as I got in, I could feel the baby crowning. My mom and husband were on the phone with my midwife and she was 30 minutes away. Baby boy shot right out at 5:16 am.. that was less than two hours from my first contraction. Midwife told my husband to call 911 so they could monitor baby and me until she got there. Once they got there, they were not happy to hear I was not planning on transferring to the hospital. My midwife asked if I would be willing to take a shot of Pitocin since the birth happened so fast and she wanted to avoid hemorrhaging. The paramedics did not have that but it was in the birth kit so my midwife walked my mom through giving me the shot while the paramedics also advised. Placenta came out and there was minimal bleeding and no tears which is crazy considering how fast he crowded! I’m still in shock! Couldn’t have asked for a better birth, except maybe my doula and midwife being there since we spent soooo much money on the midwife and doula!

Hello, i really had my heart set on a home birth, but recently diagnosed with GD that is being managed with diet, so i am not sure how that would work with transferring to hospital afterwards etc, is it still worth it? Or should i just go straight to hospital,

Could i please have some postive homebirth with GD stories? Or some advice?

Thank you

I’m 19+1, 41 next week, FTM through IVF. I want a home birth but I’m keeping my options open as I know I could risk out easily with my situation, or simply change my mind. I like my OB and she does seem to want what I want, and doesn’t require 39-week induction for IVF, but doesn’t want me to go past 40. I am also seeing a midwife next week for my first prenatal with her. I have heard stories of OBs firing their patients for telling them their plans for a home birth, so I’ve kept it quiet thus far. I worry about getting down to the wire and her pushing for induction, or just me having the baby at home and having to report to her what happened. How do most people navigate this when they see both providers throughout?

Wondering if others have found these products useful to have. If so, which brand did you get? I did a little research and it was saying online not to use them so I held off on ordering one but I could see how in some situations it could be useful to have

For added context, I’m planning to give birth at a birth center. It is a bit far from my home so I plan to head to the area once contractions start. Currently 5 months pregnant

41 weeks tomorrow and (with much delusion!) thought I would have had my baby by now. I’m feeling so desperate for the end of pregnancy between heat without AC and exhaustion and three other kids to care for and waiting to start homeschool for the year. I think baby is sitting sunny side up because my back pain has been so intense.

Posted a couple weeks ago looking for stories but I really just need to be encouraged

Anything I should do or try? I’ve been leaning into rest as much as I can and I am so ready to meet baby!

First baby induced 39+6
Second induced 39+3
Third spontaneous 41+1
Hitting 41 weeks with fourth tomorrow

My first baby was born in the hospital, unmedicated birth, and the atmosphere and care received was less than ideal. I am really looking forward to a home birth and having a better experience this time around.

That being said, I’m a little nervous. I live 30 min from the closest hospital and 55 min from the closest NICU. My mind of course goes to worse case scenarios, but I am thankful my next door neighbor is the EMT captain and will have the ambulance parked at her house in case we need it. So the response time is under five minutes, but the commute to the hospital is a bit longer than I’d like.

All that being said, my midwife has done a great job making me feel more at ease, explaining the medical supplies they bring and running through any scenarios with me.

Anyone who has had a home birth - how did you relax your nerves going into it / during? I’m so happy to not have to leave my house to drive to the hospital, and am really looking forward to being in the comfort of my own home. I’m just worried I won’t be able to relax with the “what-ifs”

Also, any recs on supplies I will need is greatly appreciated!!! TIA

Last night I gave birth for the second time. Both times we planned at home. The first time around ending up being 44 hours of active labor and a transfer to hospital where I requested epidural to progress. After seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist a few weeks postpartum, she explained that my muscles were so tight they literally weren’t letting baby through. That was so enlightening for me so for my second pregnancy learning to relax was a huge focus of mine.

Fast forward to last night… less than 3 hours of active labor and baby was born at home perfectly healthy, everything went as smoothly as could be and I just can’t believe we DID IT!

The only position I wanted to be in for the whole labor was draped over the birth ball, they had the birth pool set up and kept offering to help me get in but I just kept saying “I can’t move, it hurts too much” but after pushing for 30 mins (pushing was completely involuntary by the way, it was amazing how my body just took over and led the way without me having to think about it) I got a quick surge of motivation to get in the tub. Literally right away baby was born completely in the next 2 pushes after I got in the water. The warm water felt so good to be in freshly after delivering!

Baby started crying immediately and was pink from the start. It was a surprise gender and I was over the moon finding out it was a baby girl (my intuition the entire pregnancy told me this was a girl). After about 30 mins of hanging out in the tub with baby girl and my husband, the birth team (2 midwives + my doula) assisted me to our bed and about 10 mins later placenta was born. From there I stayed snuggled with my sweet baby girl who loved suckling right away, my doula brought me soup and after about 2 hours everyone packed up and headed home and our family of now 4 were left to snuggle in bed 💛