u/knockroeblare

A girl that used to date my friend came into my work tonight. (Quick backstory: We’re all roughly in our early thirties. She convinced my friend to stop being friends with me 3 years ago because she didn’t like that I had an abortion and didn’t trust my friend around me. They ended up breaking up because she cheated on him and drove drunk with her kid in the car. Since that happened, we are friends again, his new girlfriend rocks!)

She was shocked to see me. I greeted her kindly. She asked why I moved back. I told her I was pregnant. Wanted to be closer to friends and family. She said, “oh so you’re having your second baby?”
I said, “no, this will be my first”.
She then said, “well, no. You aborted the first one so this is the second one” I just kind of nodded and kept working. I didn’t really know what to say and I’ve never been too great with quick comebacks.

She then proceeded be kind of fake nice while I was still on shift. Asked me if I had hung out with my friend. I told her I did. Made very basic conversation, closed out my shift, got my tips and left.

As soon as I leave, my coworker hits me up and says she told the whole bar to, “be careful around me”. That I had an abortion at 20 weeks (it was 13, but the whole bar didn’t need to know), and that I threw an abortion party (I didn’t, I drank for a long time and was super depressed… but again that’s not anyone’s business cause I didn’t know anyone at the bar). I’m deeply upset about this. Is this really that big of a deal or are my hormones just getting to me?
I feel like I should report it to management, but this is a new job and I really need it because I’m pregnant. I don’t want them to see me as a source of drama. I also don’t want her to keep spilling false info about me and potentially ruining my reputation.

Update: I really appreciate everyone that gave their advice, experiences, and ideas. I am going to absolutely try to keep my baby, and hadn’t really considered the fact that my friend didn’t bring up fostering until this conversation- she is a good friend so I’m assuming this is likely because she’s not well versed in the adoption sphere. Regardless, a lot of empowering comments have me hope and I’m going to keep trying my best to be a good mom and build a reasonable life my baby and I. I have the will so there’s gotta be a way ❤️☀️✌🏼

My best friend and I have been close since the 1st grade. We’ve never even really had a fight. She is wildly successful. So is her husband. They already have two kids and provide really great lives for them. I am currently unemployed, nearly broke, unhoused, and highly stressed about what to do to be a decent parent. I don’t even have a college degree, just a high school diploma and some college (I ran out of money after the first year).
I know they would do a fantastic job and provide my child opportunities that I will never be able to, but I’m scared it’s the wrong choice. I’m scared about regretting it. I’m worried about how it’ll feel hearing them call her Mom, or that they’ll be angry with me when they understand.
On the other hand, I’m not sure I can forgive myself if I can’t provide them medicine if they get sick, consistently provide food, maybe not even shelter. If something negative happened to them because I couldn’t afford it I don’t think I’d ever get over it. If they can’t go to college and end up having to just grind through like I have.
It feels deeply painful on both sides, so I’m looking for some real life examples and experiences.