u/kokochvnel

I’m 28 and currently 13 weeks pregnant. This was unplanned and the father (36M) has stated multiple times he does not want to be together despite dating for 3 years.

I love my baby and have grown so attached to her already. I’m not sure how handling pregnancy and motherhood alone will affect me but I’m also prepared (so I’d like to think). I don’t have the best support system but I am financially stable enough to support me and the baby.

On the other hand, it would be selfish to bring a child into this life and not give them everything they deserve. Having an abortion would give me the opportunity to start over and redo all of the things I’ve done wrong thus far in my 20s. It would give me an easier opportunity to date and accomplish more in a shorter time frame.

I want my children to be born into a healthy, happy family. I don’t want to be a sad, depressed, or stressed out mother. I also don’t ever want to be resentful.

If you were 28, pregnant for the first time, and told you’d be a single mom through this process, would you still continue the pregnancy or abort?

I’m 28 and currently 13 weeks pregnant. This was unplanned and the father (36M) has stated multiple times he does not want to be together despite dating for 3 years.

I love my baby and have grown so attached to her already. I’m not sure how handling pregnancy and motherhood alone will affect me but I’m also prepared (so I’d like to think). I don’t have the best support system but I am financially stable enough to support me and the baby.

On the other hand, it would be selfish to bring a child into this life and not give them everything they deserve. Having an abortion would give me the opportunity to start over and redo all of the things I’ve done wrong thus far in my 20s. It would give me an easier opportunity to date and accomplish more in a shorter time frame.

If you were 28, pregnant for the first time, and told you’d be a single mom through this process, would you still continue the pregnancy or abort?

We were together for almost 3 years. Yes, we had our ups and downs like every relationship. When I found out I was pregnant (early first trimester), I was scared but excited and felt immense love already for the little one. I could tell he felt the same.

We had one major fight where he decided to use that as an excuse to walk away and abandon me only a couple weeks after finding out I was pregnant.

I’ve been on my own for weeks now to do everything alone from working my 9-5, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of everything financially. We don’t live together so I don’t need him financially. I asked him to support me by being there and through the little day-to-day stuff. He only works 1 day a week between 4-6 hours, last week 2 days but they were both 4 hour days (he’s a physician).

He has refused and will only do things on his own terms. Told me that he is abandoning me, not the baby. But by proxy…. He is abandoning the baby. He wants the glory of the baby afterwards but not deal with the struggle or actual journey.

I’m not sure what he does all day besides be on his phone, watch tv, golf, go hang with his sister and her friends (who are all mid 30s and single and validate his toxicity). For the past few weekends he’s been going out to drink, be merry, and live his life as if nothing has happened and he doesn’t have a baby on the way.

I’m honestly absolutely wrecked. My mom passed and my dad is nearing 70. My sister doesn’t live in-state so I’m completely alone. I have friends who I can lean on but it’s not the same unfortunately. During my most vulnerable time, he’s suppose to be there for me but instead he’s chosen to abandon me and live his life without pause or care. It’s taking a toll on my mental and emotional health. I feel myself stressed, sad, and crying all the time. I truly feel alone.

He’s told me to stop being so weak and would take me to court over the baby and drain both of our bank accounts while also again, not being present when it matters the most. It’s like he has no empathy or sympathy for the woman carrying his child. I can’t imagine giving birth to a newborn, handling everything alone, and then being taken to court by an asshole who’s living his life as a single man and his family is enabling this behavior.

I know a baby is a blessing, but I can’t help but also think if this is how I’m treated now, will it ever get any better? Am I just setting up myself and the baby for a hard future and what kind of mother would I be to force my child to be born into a broken home? AITA for considering termination?