u/lakker94

I just need to know.

Okay so....

I, (32M), grew up in a single parent household till I was 12 and my mom married my stepdad. And everything was good in the world then we moved to get closer to the family (from what I was told, some of it was due to me crying cuz I couldn't see my grandmother anymore)

And things got bad.

My stepdad, a blunt man who speaks his mind when it comes to it, stopped my grandmother from tying my shoe one day saying "he is old enough, he can do it." I was 13 and can tie my own shoes easily so this is valid.

After that, I visited my grandma every weekend and the problems began, I was told many times by the family (Grandmother and the others) that my stepdad was no good and he was only ripping my relationship with my mother apart. Granted, I'm a mommas boy and still am, I love my mom and love talking to her about random things but it felt more true when she worked all the time and he stayed home due to him being retired because of military purposes.

I felt like I couldn't do anything with him because of my extended family so I kept quiet and to myself, my self-esteem took a nosedive from then on because I was terrified on what to do. I would create several scenarios in my head before I talked to him or to ANYONE during this time.

After a while, I found out who the real monster was and tried to patch things up with my dad and things were smooth for a while.

Then I got married and had a child, my mom and dad offered us to move down there with them temporarily, and for a while it was good.

Then the problems came back,

"You're not doing enough."

"You need to be on her schedule, but you're forcing her to be on your schedule."

"Do you even care about your daughter?"

"You need to do this and do that."

"Stop feeding her this and that."

I went back to just hiding in my room when my daughter naps so I wouldn't be in their way, otherwise I'm out there so she can have someone watch her because they have 12 dogs in the house, a backdoor that's always open to the outside and she loves to climb and be a silly child.

My wife and I are going through so much together and it feels like we're walking on eggshells, a few times we were threatened if anything happened to their grandchild that they were gonna come after us or call CPS and get our daughter taken away.

We can't even deny visitation because they'll go to the court for visiting rights.

Well, we now are going to move out, we were gonna do it quietly but now it's spilled out due to me being put on the spot.

Yeah they're pissed but at the same time, I'm more worried about getting my family out of there than anything else.

But I'm worried that I'm the bad guy and have been the bad guy all this time.

I really need to know because if I am, I want to apologize to them for being this awful person but I'm so terrified of even talking to them about anything because of all that's happened.

Okay so....

I, (32M), grew up in a single parent household till I was 12 and my mom married my stepdad. And everything was good in the world then we moved to get closer to the family (from what I was told, some of it was due to me crying cuz I couldn't see my grandmother anymore)

And things got bad.

My stepdad, a blunt man who speaks his mind when it comes to it, stopped my grandmother from tying my shoe one day saying "he is old enough, he can do it." I was 13 and can tie my own shoes easily so this is valid.

After that, I visited my grandma every weekend and the problems began, I was told many times by the family (Grandmother and the others) that my stepdad was no good and he was only ripping my relationship with my mother apart. Granted, I'm a mommas boy and still am, I love my mom and love talking to her about random things but it felt more true when she worked all the time and he stayed home due to him being retired because of military purposes.

I felt like I couldn't do anything with him because of my extended family so I kept quiet and to myself, my self-esteem took a nosedive from then on because I was terrified on what to do. I would create several scenarios in my head before I talked to him or to ANYONE during this time.

After a while, I found out who the real monster was and tried to patch things up with my dad and things were smooth for a while.

Then I got married and had a child, my mom and dad offered us to move down there with them temporarily, and for a while it was good.

Then the problems came back,

"You're not doing enough."

"You need to be on her schedule, but you're forcing her to be on your schedule."

"Do you even care about your daughter?"

"You need to do this and do that."

"Stop feeding her this and that."

I went back to just hiding in my room when my daughter naps so I wouldn't be in their way, otherwise I'm out there so she can have someone watch her because they have 12 dogs in the house, a backdoor that's always open to the outside and she loves to climb and be a silly child.

My wife and I are going through so much together and it feels like we're walking on eggshells, a few times we were threatened if anything happened to their grandchild that they were gonna come after us or call CPS and get our daughter taken away.

We can't even deny visitation because they'll go to the court for visiting rights.

Well, we now are going to move out, we were gonna do it quietly but now it's spilled out due to me being put on the spot.

Yeah they're pissed but at the same time, I'm more worried about getting my family out of there than anything else.

But I'm worried that I'm the bad guy and have been the bad guy all this time.

I really need to know because if I am, I want to apologize to them for being this awful person but I'm so terrified of even talking to them about anything because of all that's happened.