u/larahomebody

Posted a different version of this in another sub bur basically, a couple of years ago, my partner triggered me back into an eating disorder after 14 years of recovery. I have managed things so far but it has gotten worse recently.

I don’t feel I can talk to friends or family. I have a therapist but it feels so lonely to live this reality alone. I am worried that people who “care about” me won’t have the emotional space for me or might think im trauma dumping.

the truth is I just need to
share with people who are around me, so they know why I’m easily triggered and emotionally dysregulated all the time. I want to be seen and understood but I know that won’t happen

A couple of years ago, my partner triggered me back into an eating disorder after 14 years of recovery. I have managed things so far but it has gotten worse recently.

I don’t feel I can talk to friends or family. I have a therapist but it feels so lonely to live this reality alone. I am worried that people who “care about” me won’t have the emotional space for me or might think im trauma dumping.

the truth is I just need to
share with people who are around me, so they know why I’m easily triggered and emotionally dysregulated all the time. I want to be seen and understood but I know that won’t happen

When talking to one of my managers, I was trying to understand why she wants me to be quiet, not stand up for myself, avoid conflict and even avoid sharing anything about myself or personality to anyone at work. She tells me to just put my head down and stay lowkey, don’t let anyone see me.

I learned that she remembers when I was seven and my friend pinched me and left a bad scar on my face. Without me saying anything, my mom saw it when I got home and asked what happened. I told her the truth in facts, not to “tell on” my friend but just to share with my mom as she had asked. My mom was upset and called my friend’s mom to let her know what happened. The next day at school, my friend got mad at me. She said “Why did you tell your mom?! You know I got grounded for that!!”

My manager was trying to protect me from having to get hurt, victim blamed and shamed for no reason. That’s why she wants me to hide and not open myself up to anyone.

I’m trying to let my manager know that she can step back but she doesn’t feel like she can. Because something similar to this happened recently.

At work, I was put in a dangerous situation and I felt abandoned and neglected. When I shared that with my boss, he got really defensive and flipped it on me and put the blame all on me.

My manager still feels like she is needed and doesn’t want to step aside.

what should I do in this case?