u/lavender-dreamzz

I feel like somethings wrong with me. My boyfriend is so kind & patient with me with all of my issues, but I always feel like something is going on behind my back.

And he’s never done anything to betray my trust and I’ve never had any red flags with him however, I can’t trust him. I’ve mentioned this to him and he has even willingly offered up his phone to me, but I always decline. I know it stems from my BPD and PTSD. My dad was a serial cheater and I’ve been cheated on three times..

But I got into a spiral tonight, probably my first ever spiral with him and started feeling triggered because I saw he liked the girls post on Instagram I don’t know who she was. I don’t know how he knows her.. He only follows 97 people. Obviously she’s really skinny and I have a ton of insecurities. Honestly, I won’t deny it. I’m not ugly. I’m just very curvy. And recently, my insecurities have been worse because my life feels like it’s falling apart and I just can’t get better.

But I can’t unsend the messages now. I just kind of went on a little rant of who she was and why he liked her photo of her graduating. I guess that sounds ridiculous to people who don’t have BPD. I didn’t say anything mean I was just upset. My heart was pounding and I still have so much anxiety. I know it sounds stupid. I didn’t go off on him but I just feel discouraged. I can’t trust him. There’s no way. And it’s like that in any relationship i’m in

I am truly absolutely terrified of being cheated on. I’m just feeling really discouraged because it feels too good to be true. He wants to get married and have a life together… but in my mind, I’m just some fat maniac. I feel like maybe he’s only with me because other girls won’t go out with him? Or maybe he didn’t have the opportunity.

Edit: grammar etc

Hi, everyone! I am a wedding photographer. Me and my boo are getting married 7/7/27. I’m looking for a digital + film photographer. However, I would prefer to edit these myself. I know this is out of the norm, but I unfortunately cannot take them myself. I would get my wedding photography friend to do so, but I am looking for someone with experience shooting at the SF City Hall. My style is moody/dreamy.

I am willing to supply the SD cards and film. I am also fine processing it myself, just let me know how much you charge to actually take the photos minus film cost.

Would love you there for the ceremony, family photos, + a few pictures inside/outside afterwards.

Looking for:
- A mix of romantic candid + editorial (for formal shots)
- Max 2 hrs of coverage
- Canon shooter, R6 Mark II or R5 and above
- 3 rolls of 35mm film
- More than 3 weddings at SF City Hall

If this is possible, please let me know! Would love a link to your website or socials. Just message me! Would prefer under $2k, but open to higher rates.

Hi, everyone! I am having a very intimate wedding at SF City Hall next year. I will have maybe 10 people max. I am not from the area, so I’m not sure how to navigate this. I don’t want a huge reception. I was honestly thinking of doing a brunch/lunch after the ceremony. I may want to go out and eat with my family or even do a small airbnb brunch. Wondering if anyone has any ideas?

Edit: If restaurants, any specific places?

I have severe anxiety and agitation issues too. I can’t even go to the grocery store without having a meltdown. I usually take gummies (yk lol), 🍃but I’ve been eating a lot more. I’ve gained weight. My appetite returns normal when I stop taking them. But without them, I feel on edge.

I’ve also been on several medication and I don’t feel like medication is right for me at this time. Potentially in the future again, but I’m very sensitive to getting on and off.. so then I have more agitation and it’s just not pleasant.

But looking for something to help me calm during the day. I’m snapping at my partner a lot and it’s very discouraging.