u/like2speak2amanager

We were watching a “shark week” show and this guy was in a cage in the water surrounded by sharks and his HR spiked up to the 130’s. I made a light joke that my HR went higher than that just bending over and standing back up to pick up some trash on the playground today at work.

He said, yet fucking again. “You should try cardio. It helps. It helped me.”

It’s like he doesn’t believe I have POTS or refuses to understand it or something. I’m so fucking sick of hearing him say that on repeat.

Like I know the basic “don’t keep foods that you binge on in your house” but what tf do I do when I have a dollar general literally within walking distance of my house. It’s a three minute drive, if that. So like, I’ll not have the stuff in my house, but get a bad craving and end up just going there and buying it anyways because it takes zero effort for me to just hop in the car and go over there and load up on shit and bring it home to eat.

I’m at a loss on what to do. My appitite is crazy, my cravings are strong, and the food noise is always there.
It sucks. I’m literally watching my body get destroyed and I can’t stop.

It doesn’t help I’m on several psych meds that contribute to weight gain/increased appetite, but like, I can’t just quit my meds. It would be dangerous to do so.

Any advice?

So I packed a new food for lunch today. Normally, this isn’t an issue, I have a late lunch and only have to work two hours afterwards.

However. I have an appointment this afternoon, right after work.

My OCD brain, which has pretty severe Emetophobia is saying to me “do not eat that new food. What if it makes you sick and you vomit during your appointment??? Or you get sick on the way and you can’t make it to the appointment and getting sick causes panic and you actually wreck your car.

And the spiral kept going all day at work.

I skipped breakfast this morning because I was feeling sick. (Common for me) and I know if I don’t attempt lunch that I’ll end up feeling bad later.

So my choices I was faced with: Don’t eat, eat my safe food I packed but it’s just a snack, or eat my lunch which is the new food that my brain is deeming as a threat.

I am anxious, but I did it. I ate the new food for lunch, and I may need an anxiety pill in a few to get me through, but I did eat it instead of taking the easy and safe way out.

I physically limited in that I can’t do high intensity cardio, no HIIT or dancing, and can’t do treadmills, have to do seated cardio. I also battle extreme fatigue. Looking for ideas of what kind of workouts I can do.

I recently found some yoga videos specifically for people with POTS, which is what I have, but I’m looking for something that may help me kick start some weight loss. I know diet is the biggest factor, and I’m working on eating better and eating less, but want to start moving my body.

I just got hold of my medical records, due to my primary’s practice closing, and I am noticing a few times she put “abnormal affect” on there. I’ve gotten “flat affect” a few times, when I’ve been there on a really depressed day, but I don’t quite understand what “abnormal affect” means.

She also always notes my poor eye contact, and added that it was “baseline for patient” in one of the notes. I guess meaning that that’s normal for me? Because I don’t make eye contact.

Wasn’t sure if I should put this here or over in askdocs, since it’s my doctor that put this, but it was psychiatry related I guess.

Like the title says. I need something to replace with. I eat a frosted strawberry poptart pretty much every morning as my breakfast. I work really early and am usually nauseated in the morning, so I just like the blandness and ease of a poptart and it requires zero effort for me when I’m rushing to get to work in the morning, I don’t have time to pull out a skillet and cook eggs or make a proper breakfast.

So are there any suggestions for something I could eat instead, that isn’t garbage food with zero nutritional value? If it’s similar to a poptart that would be awesome, but I’m open to other tastes/textures too, depending upon what it is.

Edit: Thanks for all the suggestions y’all.

I ended up at the store today and bought:

Eggs to hard boil and peel this weekend, so I can just grab one out of the fridge.

A peanut butter alternative (can’t have PB at work and don’t wanna risk contamination with eating it in the car and then going into work) with honey wheat bread and strawberry preserves

Lactose free protein drinks

Fig bars

And the protein poptarts

I feel like that’s a decent start for a slightly better breakfast, but one that will still sit with me okay when I’m nauseated but have to eat due to my morning meds.

He is dead set on if I would “just do cardio” then my problems would be fixed.

He has gone to appts with me and seen me evaluated.

I have explained to him over and over again that it isn’t a heart issue. It’s a dysfunction of my autonomic nervous system and it affects my whole body.

I have tried to explain exercise intolerance to him.

I don’t know what else to do to convince him that working out isn’t going to fix me.

I know it can certainly help. I literally work a job where I’m on my feet all day long, up and down all day (essentially doing squats) and spend hours outside a day, even in the summer heat. It’s not like I am totally sedentary.

I also have done phases OF working out, even doing the CHOP protocol, I’m not any better off then I was back then.

Im about to lose my mind with him.

He does not understand, or just straight refuses to understand that working out is not going to cure me.

I’m literally, despite my other chronic health issues and struggles and extreme fatigue from my job and battling depression, looking up workout classes to sign up for and start doing multiple days a week which I know will burn me tf out and make me feel awful, and want to attempt to keep them up for a while just to SHOW him that it’s not going to make me stop having symptoms. I’m still going to struggle even if my cardio vascular system improves a bit.

I just don’t know what to do and I’m upset and frustrated. His lack of understanding infuriates me. He has type 1 diabetes and I am SO understanding with it and all the shit that comes with it, especially his horrible, angry, ragey mood swings he gets when his blood sugar is fucked up. I am SO empathetic and non judge mental of it all yet he can’t extend that same empathy and understanding to me even a little bit.

So for context, during my last session, I was anxious and started doing some light self harm. My therapist gave me a stress toy to hold to keep my hands busy. I accidentally put a hole in it during the session, which I apologized for. She let me keep it, and told me to use it instead of hurting myself. I kind of want to get a replacement to give to her in the next session, since I destroyed hers, but I know “gift giving” can be seen as controversial in therapy spaces. I don’t wanna make her uncomfortable or anything, but I do feel bad for destroying the toy she let me use.