u/littleantfarm

My (f34) friend (f36) and I did not start out as friends. We were pretty big enemies over a guy in 2006-2015. It was a long time and tbh the guy was a jerk and drove us both crazy. We said some hurtful and awful things to each other and harassed each other online through anonymous sites. Although they were anonymous, what was said was way to specific to our situation to be anyone else. She even went as far to have her friend and sister do the same to me. Years down the road I apologized for my parts in what happened and she was pretty much "yeah me too, but it was really all my friend and sister and I didn't engage" which I know is not true. But I decided to look past it.

Years had passed and we were older in our mid/late 20's and we became friends. When we talk about the past here and there I still apologize for what I did and tell her that it hurts me that I said and did those things and I wish I could take it back. But it was never reciprocated on her end. I guess one day while I said something about it, she got sick of it and messaged "here's what I remember doing, I'm sure there was more but it's not important. Sorry." It did not feel genuine and more like "you want an apology, here have it". Since that list, I've held back in the friendship.

AITAH for wanting to have a talk about what she did all those years ago and get a genuine apology? Or should I just move on from it?

I (f34) have started therapy again. I have not had good experiences with them in my teen years and early 20's. But I know I need therapy and my psychiatrist recommended it. Anyway, my therapist said something that threw me completely off and I'm not sure if I'm looking at it from the correct perspective. She uses CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy. It felt like she was saying that I just need to change my mindset with good thoughts and everything will be better. I don't think the way I do because of the traumatic event(s), but how it made me feel. So I can recover from my life long depression (her words) by changing my thought process. That my feelings about whatever situations aren't facts. They're just feelings. That I could have felt unsafe in a situation, but that's just a feeling. It wasn't factual that I was actually unsafe in those situations.

Maybe I'm viewing it wrong. But it threw me off and made me feel like I was past me with those past therapists who said it's all in my head and I can just be better by thinking better.

Any better explanation of what she meant or advice?

Hi everyone! I (f34) am VERY new to Kpop. My sister (f40) is a huge Kpop fan and she says that I am the only person in her life who really cares about her interests and who she feels like she can be herself around when it comes to liking it. I would love to support her interest in KPop and honestly it's a lot! I don't know where to start, any advice or anything that you'd like to share of your favorite band, songs, whatever, would be helpful. She loves Stray Kids as far as I know. I was a huge 1D fan and was so far up 1D stan twitter's behind so I know the lore of being a "fangirl". There is nothing too crazy for me! Thank you!

My (f34) friend (f36) and I did not start out as friends. We were pretty big enemies over a guy in 2006-2015. It was a long time and tbh the guy was a jerk and drove us both crazy. We said some hurtful and awful things to each other and harrased each other online through anonymous sites. She even went as far to have her friend and sister do the same to me. Years down the road I apologized for my wrong doing and she was pretty much "yeah me too, but it was really all my friend and sister and I didn't engage" which I know is not true. But I decided to look past it. Years had passed and we were older and we became friends. When we talk about the past here and there I still apologize for what I did and tell her that it hurts me that I said and did those things and I wish I could take it back. But it was never reciprocated on her end. I guess one day while I said something about it, she got sick of it and wrote down "here's what I remember doing, I'm sure there was more but it's not important. Sorry." It did not feel genuine and more like "you want an apology, here have it". Since that list, I've held back in the friendship. Am I in the wrong to actually have a talk about what she did all those years ago and get a genuine apology? Or should I just move on from the whole things and let it be?