u/llamapajamaa

My pitbull baby loves to snuggle in bed, especially when I wrap him in my down comforter. He will snooze the morning away when I am working from home or on the weekends. He also loves snuggling next to me on the couch when I am working. He also loves to aggressively snuggle, sometimes trying to climb into my arms if he thinks I am working too hard on my laptop.

He is much more animated when my ex is around, but he is also getting older and will find time to nap when with him these days.

Anyone else? He gets playtime or walks twice a day, and I try to give him toys or entertain him with games throughout the day.

I have a roommate whom I have started to become friendly with. The issue is that they keep leaving the sliding door to our apartment open, and it gets left open all day. Sometimes the back gate is locked, sometimes it isn't, and one of our neighbors in our big apartment complex could just walk into our place. The big issue, besides the obvious, is that my dog is then left vulnerable to being left out or taken. This has happened at least three times that I know of, and my ex, whom I co-parent a dog with, also found the sliding door open today when he came by. I JUST talked to her about the issue a couple of days ago, and I talked to her about it the two other times I discovered it. She has also left the sliding door open and left while I've been upstairs taking a nap. It's important to note that I've never had a roommate do this in the past, and I lived with two other people in this unit in the past, and two others in another unit with my dog.

In addition, a man tried to push his way into my apartment shortly before she came to check it out. My ex happened to be there when it happened and witnessed the whole thing, and we called the cops. When she moved in, I told her what happened and to be really cautious about keeping the doors locked, but she hasn't at all. I have to check if the front door is unlocked before bed, because she rarely does.

When I do confront her, I am very polite, calm, and more than understanding. I thought she would be as horrified as I would be, but instead she gets a bit defensive and sort of acts like I am overreacting. She also glosses over it, and when she senses that I am frustrated, she overcompensates by being overly nice. I know it's some kind of coping mechanism, but it still greatly frustrates me when someone tries to smooth things over without actually changing the behavior. I can't tell if she is just being cavalier about the issue, or what the heck is going on, but it's a big problem that she isn't taking seriously.

I don't know if she has adhd or something that is causing this oversight, but I do know she has been struggling with a few personal issues, and I sense a few other things going on under the surface that I am trying to be sensitive to. Still, that doesn't excuse forgetting something like basic safety. I know I will end up saying something to her tomorrow or the next day, and it will probably center around the fact that I feel very unsafe with her actions.

I bought a iRestore cap a couple of months ago and have been using it every other day as directed since then. From this sub, I learned that RLT can cause initial hair fall like minox, which is probably why I'm trying to be patient. I've been usin minox, and taking vitamins and supplements for a few years, and I've made a lot of progress, though snail pace slow. However, the overall density of my hair is thinner than it was, and I don't know if that's due to the meds I'm on for arthritis or not, as well as general aging. I am primarily using the cap to help return as much density to my hair as possible at this point, while supporting the regrowth I've had over the years.

I've noticed that my hair looks fuller overall, and is standing up straighter from my head, so that tthere is more natural loft on top. However, I also noticed that, like with minox, the back of my scalp is sometimes visible along my cow lick, and sometimes looks very full. This happened for a while at different intervals when I first started taking minox, but I was making a lot of improvements. I am hoping that this is part of the process and that my hair will fill in again as it has in the past. I am a very patient person, and I also waited when I started saw palmetto, etc., which did help, it just took a lot of time.

I should also add that my hair can go through phases throughout the day where it looks absolutely fine and full, and then there are times when it parts in the back and looks thin. It seems like to worst time is right after it's been freshly cleaned, but, then again, sometimes it looks completely filled in. It's kind of maddening.

I have been looking around for a couple of groups to join after realizing how hard it is to meet people and make friends in this town beyond work. No hate to anyone, but I am mostly finding groups not on my vibe, e.g., they seem to only go out to see 70s and 80s cover bands. I sometimes see and go to fun events like Pride PVD, but it's tricky to find more than a friend or two who want to come with, and I also don't want to organize all the time.

My middle-aged adhd ex is extremely emotionally immature and was an awful, awful boyfriend. However, he is also a supposed "nice guy," so a lot of people have no clue just how much bs I put up with during our relationship.

We co-parent a dog, and that is hard enough at times, given how casual and sometimes reckless he is about safety. That is basically his MO, flying by the seat of his pants, and then getting defensive when I become frustrated. There were so many issues in our relationship, and I am extremely relieved that we do not have any human children together, as it would have been a nightmare. More recently, he acts like I am being hysterical when I am upset.

For instance, I now live alone in a ground lever apartment in a mid-sized city. He comes over sometimes when I am out to take the dog out for a walk. There have been at least a handful of times, including this past Friday, where he forgets to latch the sliding door behind him and I come home to find it unlocked. I had an incident of home invasion when I was a child, and my parents also left me home for weeks at a time when I was in high school, and I have a lot of trauma around it. It really makes me angry that he keeps on doing it, and I am planning on taking his key back if it happens again. His reaction is to apologize, but then get defensive when don't just drop it as soon as it happens. He has trouble following conversations in general, and also seems to promptly forget my points or any revelations, and returns to whatever defiant position he began with. Its all very gaslighting. Some of his other behaviors definitely tip towards narcissism, but it feels more like general misogyny rather than NPD (his family is extremely misogynistic but in a quiet way).

In addition, he almost started fires in our old apartment and house a number of times, and also flooded our second floor bathroom to the point that it came through the ceiling. He runs out of gas about every six months, and has to either walk to a gas station or get a truck to bring him a can. One time, when visiting his friends in NYC, I became very sick, and he made me stay and hang out, even though I had to go sleep in the guest room for hours. On the way home, I also had a bathroom emergency. These are just some of the examples of his recklessness, I don't want to begin unpacking all of the emotional violations and recklessness over the course of our relationship.

I dealt with so much more during our relationship, but the other major issue is that his friends and family thought I was some hell witch because I basically became mean mommy in our relationship. They also completely enable him. My mom is a narcissist, and it makes me hyper aware of my own words and actions. I actually had to work through my own people pleasing tendencies in this relationship in order to create boundaries and then finally walk away. I feel more grounded now, but I have a fair amount of trauma from the whole experience. It also frustrates me that other people constantly gaslight me about his past behavior, yet, these are not experiences I've encountered with other exes or in my friendships and (healthy) work relationships. Communication is generally much more productive. I realized at some point how impossible it was to communicate with him when I realized that I could have more reasonable discussions with my young nieces and nephews.

Does anyone feel traumatized by their own experiences navigating a relationship with an adhd partner?