u/loldontlistentome

To clarify I do mean work phone number. My last pregnancy my midwife gave me her number at the booking appointment, and told me to contact her directly. My daughter was only born July last year.

Im pregnant again now, haven’t moved, haven’t changed trusts etc, and im finding it impossible to get in contact with my midwife. I have to call the hospital midwives department and have literally had my call answered twice out of potentially 15 different times calling over the last 4 months. I’ve left messages when prompted and then am called back by somebody who isn’t my midwife, and told I need to talk to my midwife, and to try again tomorrow. Rinse and repeat, no answer - somebody else calls me back - try again.

I’m not seeing my midwife again until 26 weeks and i’m currently 18 weeks so i’ve just accepted I won’t be getting the results of a blood test I had, until that appointment.

Is this how it is everywhere?

When I was pregnant with my daughter my grandmother was adamant about forcing her choice of names on me. She was very particular about wanting me to call my daughter “Tonya”. We’d already picked a name, so she moved on to trying to push for it as a middle name. However I share a middle name with my mum and my mums sisters. Always loved the idea of being able to pass on a family name that started with women, to my daughter!
Told her all this- she let it go, though tried to push for my daughter to have my last name (because it’s my dads (her son) instead of my partners).

Fast forward my daughter turned one at the end of last month and at 3am last night she genuinely text me asking if I would change my daughters middle name to Tonya as it “means so much to her” and gave me the same spiel about why it was important etc. Keeping in mind she has two daughters of her own that she could’ve given this name to if it was so important.

Repeated myself that her middle name is important to me, and we would not be changing her name as it’s perfect for her and got a very blunt “ok.” in response.
There’s cheeky with trying to push names when you’re pregnant and then there’s downright unhinged asking for a child’s name to be changed one year on?!

Can’t be just me this has happened to?

I’m nearly 17 weeks and since I found out I was pregnant i’ve had a constant nagging feeling that something is wrong. I know it’s probably anxiety but it doesn’t feel like normal anxiety feels. I don’t feel worried, I feel like I just KNOW that something isn’t right with baby.

All of my scans have been fine, baby looks fine, but I can’t shrug it off. It’s like a feeling of impending doom but not for me. I’ve suffered with anxiety before and I don’t feel prickly or panicky, I just feel very resigned to - something is wrong.

I had a lot of complications during my first pregnancy and while I was very anxious about my daughter being okay, I didn’t have any feelings like this. I always assumed she would be fine.

It’s impacting my ability to enjoy my pregnancy, this will be my last pregnancy and I want to soak it up but I can’t.

Has anybody else dealt with similar feelings? Did they eventually go away?

I’ve eaten 3 king size chicken and mushroom pot noodles today. They aren’t even a craving, i’m honestly sick of them but they’re the only thing that doesn’t make me heave right now?!

I just want to eat normal food 🥲

Just had my 12 week scan. Sonographer wasn’t able to get the measurements needed for the NT test, which means no combined blood test either.

They did offer me the quad test at 15+3 but this only screens for downs. Sonographer didn’t ask me to shuffle around or go for a walk to try and shift baby, and my midwife said you only get one go at a 12 week scan.

The results of this test would absolutely sway my decision on continuing with the pregnancy. I don’t have the spare cash to get a private NIPT test done right now, what can I do?

Has anybody managed to be rescanned? I don’t want to wait until 20 weeks to find out something is wrong, when I could’ve found out at 12.

Advice?

Booked a private scan, got there and the front desk woman was LOVELY. Took us back to the scan room and the sonographer didn’t even acknowledge us, told me to sit and went though details very clinically which is no big deal whatever!

Baby was upside down and facing away so I went for a walk and came back 30 mins later and this time she was so warm and lovely, making jokes, lovely comments about the baby etc. Toward the end of the scan she said it must be so great being in that stage of life, cosy etc.

She then went on immediately flipped the script on us and word vomited verbatim - “I had a horrible childhood. My father died when I was very young and my mother was so depressed. Didn’t teach me to brush my teeth even. I didn’t brush them until I was 12.” At which point i’m like ????? but we told her we were sorry to hear that but glad she’s doing better now.

To which she responds “I am better, getting by. But it’s not the same. You can’t get that time back. I’m just hoping for a good death now. That’s all you can hope for.” Laughed politely and scurried out.

We must have looked bewildered coming out because the lady at the front desk asked us if the sonographer had “been talking again”. This place literally didn’t have any negative reviews in fact all of the reviews highlight the sonographer by name and state how great/friendly/amazing she was.
And she was lovely but also?!
We’ve had two losses before this pregnancy so it sort of took the wind out of my sails a bit to be so elated everything is okay to then getting the depression death chat at the end.

We couldn’t decide on leaving a review and mentioning it because she was lovely but also?!??

If you’ve had yours done during a section, did you regret it afterwards? I know it’s a more emotional time to have it done. I LOVE the idea of loads of kids but realistically I only have it in me to have two, and i’ll have two under two.

Did it change recovery? Make it more painful etc?

Did it take a fight to get them to agree to do it? This will only be my second baby and i’ll be 29 so unsure if they’ll deny me based on age alone.

How was the whole experience? My first was an elective section so i’m not worried about the section at all :)

I literally feel like a spacehopper. I’m so bloated it’s making me nauseous and it hurts! It’s so uncomfy!

How do I make it go away?

I had 3 early scans, the first was due to one sided pain but I was really early so all they could see was the sac. They scheduled two more that were two weeks apart to check growth. Last was at 8.5 weeks and all was fine.
My 12 week scan isn’t until i’m nearly 14 weeks.

Since I conceived i’ve been having pain every day, baseline of like 6/10 but it has even creeping up to the point it’s making me throw up sometimes. But because this has been happening the whole time, and they haven’t found an obvious cause, it’s just “normal” for this pregnancy. I do have endometriosis and my last pregnancy was a section and that was only 11 months ago.

My midwife told me to contact the EPU if it got worse, and it has gotten worse but I feel silly going to be scanned so much when it’s been happening the whole time. I’m not bleeding, no fever, maybe a tiny bit of pain when I wee but again the endo affects my bladder and I get lots of UTI symptoms that are never UTIs.

Will they think i’m just taking liberties and wanting scans? I have mentioned the pain every time I’ve seen the doctor at the EPU, I was offered pain killers but declined but in hindsight I should’ve said yes.

Not sure what to do. If it is a UTI I won’t get seen at my GP for god knows how long. Thoughts?

Daughter was a GREAT sleeper! Getting her into her cot took a while, lots of patting and rocking and comforting after getting her in there, sometimes having to pick up and resettle. Bedtime was taking about an hour but she slept through the night 7;30-7am every night from about 4 months until maybe 8 months.

Then she got a really bad cold that lingered for two weeks and immediately after got another, she was obviously so congested so she wouldn’t sleep lying down. Did bedtime as normal, transferred to cot and she was wide awake. We’d spent upwards of 5 hours taking turns trying to settle her in her cot, if by some miracle she would settle she’d be awake again in 20 minutes.

We’ve been co-sleeping since. It’s the only way she’ll sleep. I can’t stress enough she will NOT sleep in her cot. We’re actually lucky if once she’s asleep we can roll her onto the bed and settle her there, this is getting better, slowly. I don’t mind the co-sleeping at all when she’s on the bed, otherwise she has to be held.

Never been able to do naps in the cot, could never get her down and it ruined her whole sleep schedule and we picked our battles because she was sleeping through the night.

Will she grow out of this? I’m not interested in letting her cry herself to sleep. We got to sleeping through the night by resettling in the cot and not picking her up but it doesn’t work anymore. She just screams and now she can stand so she wakes herself all the way up and wails and then we have to start the resettling to sleep process over again.

We did try for months straight every night and it wasn’t improving and it was messing up all her daytime naps because she was exhausted.

Apart from cry it out, how do I get her to stop wanting to be IN our skin when she sleeps? I would settle for flat on our bed all night over having to hold her while we sleep, in some capacity.

Help🥲

Since it’s been hot she isn’t interested in formula at all, she went from tanking 3-4 8oz bottles daily to only drinking 3oz maybe.

Google says they can safely have 240ml of water daily, her cup is 240ml and it’s being refilled multiple times a day.

Obviously I don’t want her to be dehydrated and she’s chugging water. Will a month really make a huge difference to her allowed water intake? Google also says 1 year olds are allowed up to a litre a day?

She’s been having a hard time sleeping and last night when she woke and was offered some sips of water she went right back to sleep. She runs so hot, slept in just her nappy and was still clammy. Have a fan and everything, it’s still just hot.

Am I going to make her poorly? I feel like making up for her loss of milk intake with water should be okay? She’s on 3 meals and snacks a day also!

My 10 month old daughter has CMPA, we changed milks multiple times until we eliminated soy and coconut too. Her formula was recalled and we had to switch to formula with one or both of her allergens in while we tried to get her original formula back, it was horrible, she struggled! - I say this to say, she’s definitely allergic!

People seemed to understand when she was only formula fed but now since weaning, family keeps making ridiculous comments that I don’t think they would make if the allergy was to peanuts or something that is seen as a more “serious” allergen.

-A family member asked to give her some cake, I said no, because one she’s a baby and doesn’t need cake but two it was dairy. She offered to remove the chocolate icing, I reminded her that there was butter in the cake mix - “only a little bit” ?!

-Dinner with family somebody tried to offer her something with bisto gravy on it, which has soy in it. So I said no and was met with “I wonder what people did years ago when all of these special allergies didn’t exist?” ?!

There are so many more but just to give you an idea, i’ve explained that it’s not an intolerance but an ALLERGY. I’ve been blunt. I’ve been informational. Ive found myself just avoiding people now, even her grandparents just aren’t grasping that she’s ALLERGIC.

I don’t plan to let anybody babysit and haven’t, i’m not interested in leaving her anyway but i’d like to not have to watch her like a hawk around family.

Anybody struggled similarly to be taken seriously with allergies? Did you have a breakthrough? How? I’m literally at my wits end with the “it’s only a little bit” comments!

Has anybody used period knickers after birth? Did they work well? Are they absorbent enough?

With my last baby I used incontinence pants because I can’t stand the way pads feel. They weren’t the comfiest, in the day they were alright but I found it so hard to get comfy at night and post section too it was just grim!

Anything else you found that you preferred? Or any brands better than others you found?

I went for an early scan as I was having left sided pain and spotting, it was way too early to see anything so they scheduled me back in two weeks time.

I had my follow up scan, I should’ve been 7 weeks and two days but I was measuring 5 weeks 5 days. There’s no way that I conceived later than I think, I know all of my exact dates.

I’ve been having pain since the very beginning and now measuring behind i’m just worried this pregnancy will end in miscarriage.

They didn’t “officially” see a heartbeat at my most recent scan, you could see a flutter and he did point it out but said he couldn’t guarantee it wasn’t a blood vessel.

Have any of you measured behind and caught up, or been okay? I’m an anxious mess.

Anybody had anything similar? i’m 6.5 weeks pregnant and im cramping literally 24/7. it doesn’t go away or stop, just continuously cramping like right before you get your period?

had some spotting, was seen at the epu but too early to see anything besides the sac at 5 weeks. waiting and worried until 3rd june to be seen again.

i have had a previous section, so maybe that’s causing worse cramping?

help?🥲