u/lostinthetreess

Weed took the edge off of life. Now I have absolutely nothing to look forward to. I quit because I didn’t know who I was sober. Iv been smoking daily since I was 14. 27 years ago. Only quit for 2 years when I got prego. Weed never fucked up my life or made me lazy. Always been a high performer at work. Lift weight 3 days a week. Hiking all the time. Very organized. Super crafty. I feel like it made me a more patient mother. Now being sober I’m starting to question why I quit. The withdrawal was absolutely horrible so I understand that it had such a hold over me. Affected me in ways I never knew was possible. But now it’s just blah everyday. Every days the same boring life with absolutely nothing to make it interesting. I have to work, I have to cook, I have to clean. I feel like being able to smoke just made those mundane things possible. Now the only reward I get is I get to wake up and do it all over again. I do enjoy the longer lucid dreams. But that’s only because they are providing an escape from my boring life. Idk if I’m depressed or just hate everything about my life. Except these are normal things everyone has to do apparently sober and just content? I don’t even know what I want out of this post. I’m just feeling so stuck and trying so hard to not smoke!

After smoking all day long everyday for 27 years I finally made the choice to quit. I honestly had no idea how much withdrawals would effect me. Day one and two were super hard as anxiety and anger hit me like a freight train. My fuse for bullshit is very short. I finally started sleeping again at day 8. The nausea and loss of appetite I was expecting but it’s been consistent daily. I lost 9lbs so far, basically have to force myself to eat at least once a day. I was in an extremely stressful situation on day 11 and I spent next day in a brain fog where no matter what I did I couldn’t really wake up. Feeling super discouraged to read that i will be feeling like shit for another month! I have no desire to even smoke at this point cuz I do not want to start this process over. Peoples posts give me hope, still waiting for the mental clarity. Scrolling hurts my brain. Working hurts my brain. Working out hurts my brain. Being a high functioning stoner I was jaded going into this thinking it would be easy. I didn’t realize how much weed affected my body. I just want this to be over.