personally, i tell people the second it becomes even remotely relevant. fear of death? yeah that’s ANOTHER reason im antinatalist. living is expensive? i know it’s insane we have to pay just to exist despite not having a choice… yeah that’s also why i think having kids is horrible. do you want kids? i think procreation is the cruelest act.
everytime i drink i feel hypomanic but with even less inhibitions, im drunk right now and logically i haven’t actually done or said anything objectively annoying or bothersome but in my head i know what im thinking and the pressure and the energy and i feel annoying right now but its in my own head. i feel like when ethel cain said “they’re all gonna laugh at me”
i’m coming off of a hypomanic episode and i realised i lacked emotional empathy during it. a lot of the people in my life were talking to me about how depressed they were, and while i felt sympathetic and would talk to them about it and try to be there for them - i couldn’t understand it? like i couldn’t put myself in their shoes or fully understand how or why they were feeling at the time? i don’t like that i felt this way but i found myself being almost annoyed, bored by them, and like they were bumming me out while i was trying to vibe and talk about fun or positive things. i didn’t care about what they were saying or how they felt, i was irritated that i had to dull myself down a notch and just focus on trying to help them. i love the people in my life so much and usually that never happens to me. it has completely gone away, i can put myself in their shoes and understand why they feel the way they do, i feel hurt for them now that i’m depressed. when i’m stable or depressed i experience empathy to my own detriment. i was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this? i feel like an awful person.